The faineant solitudinarian

Avatar : Review

2009-12-17T23:38:00.009+05:30

THE RETURN OF THE KING OF THE WORLD

The long wait was finally over. After having counted the days for almost a year for James Cameron's Avatar, I saw it with my friends, mere hours ago. So how was it? Read on.

My previous post might have given you some ideas about the kind of work that Cameron had put into this project. 14 years in the making, this is to say the least a passion project, and he had to wait that long primarily so he could develop a camera to enable him to shoot the way he wanted, and mainly for the special effects to be able to catch up to the standards he had in mind. While the special effects didn't quite catch up when he started work in full swing, he knew it was close enough that he could push the boundaries into the next level. Audience expectation was quite high, and my expectations were off the charts. Let there be no mistake, James Cameron is one of my favorite filmmakers. His films have contributed vastly to my desire to be in this field. And Avatar was according to his own words a game changer. People like Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Peter Jackson have already made statements to the effect which said that cinema will be demarcated into two halves - the ones before Avatar and the ones that will come after. Industry experts predicted that its effect would be almost as important as when sound entered into the picture.

As the day of the release drew nearer I was worried that people wouldn't want to see Avatar, dismissing it as just another action sci fi film. My attempts at making some friends understand the impact of Avatar had failed quite spectacularly. Many people claimed that the trailer footage was quite unimpressive, and there were a lot of ugly rumors about how the film was a disaster. Well, all that is in the past. Cameron Came, Cameron Conquered.

Having watched the film a few hours ago, one of the questions me and my friends kept asking each other was-how do we describe what we experienced to others? What terms would we use to accurately gauge what transpired on screen? Frankly speaking there isn't anything I can say to quantify this experience. Avatar is in a wholly different class. Although let me clarify, this film was never meant to be seen in 2d. Watching it in 2d is like getting 10% of the experience. This is what 3d always promised to be, but never had fulfilled. The use of actual 3d space, real time focusing ,depth perception in live action shots is light years ahead of what people have seen up until now. Make no mistake, Avatar is every bit the game changer it claimed to be. This is the dawn of a new era. Although, I don't think this is as great a turning point as when sound came into cinema. The main reason being prohibitive costs. Making a live action 3d film is a costly affair, and for the near foreseeable future only the films with the largest budget will be able to dream of using this technology. But 10 years down the line, it's anyone's guess.

Now for the claimed photorealistic effects. The effects are so real, that Sam worthington's Avatar looked more real and lively than Worthington himself. You will doubt , many a time that the people you are seeing are actually people with extensive makeup. The expressions, the movements are so real, that its sufficient to say that this is the first film to have just jumped across the chasm that is Uncanny Valley. If nothing else, this years Oscar for best cg is going to Avatar. What about the performances, you say? The overall cast is quite good. But for me the standout roles were that of Zoe Saldana as Neytiri, Sigourney Weaver as Dr Grace Augustine and Stephen Lang as Colonel Miles Quattrich who might I say makes for a bad ass villain, although a tad one note. As for Sam Worthington, I will admit, I wasn't sold on that man's leading man capabilities until now. I can see why Cameron chose to cast him in the lead when many others hadn't even heard of him.

Now for the story. The story, although thinly garbed in the veil of sci fi, is essentially an environmental and philosophical one, and its pivotal point is of course the interracial love that blossoms between Neytiri and Jake. Jake, a paraplegic ex marine is asked to take over his brother's job of manning an 'avatar' - a human Na Vi hybrid body in the distant planet of Pandora where a corporation is trying to get its hands on a rare mineral, the cheekily named Unobtainium(obviously the McGuffin of the story). The greatest deposit of said mineral is right below the settlement of local Na Vi population and Jake and some other scientists are trying to mingle with them to try and convince them to move before the bulldozers come with hired guns to drive them away by force. The film is mainly narrated through his video logs, which document his feelings and what goes through his head as he becomes more like the Na Vi. Now I will be frank, the story wont win any prizes for being terribly original. You have seen different versions of this in other films. But the same story can be told in different ways, and this is where Cameron's powers shine through. The effects, the 3d, the cast and the amazing pacing that does not relent adds to the most immersive cinematic experience I have ever had. The film is unapologetic in its environmental and anti war message. As for Pandora, it is something else entirely. So much care and work has been put into bringing the plants and animals of Pandora to life, that words fail me.

In a day and age where slo mo and ramp shots take precedence over character development( I am talking to you, Michael Bay) the film has only one major action sequence, which is the last 20 minutes of the film. Almost an entire half of the film is dedicated to building the characters, and that is done with care. By the time when all hell is about to break loose we have come to care about the Na'Vi, Pandora and of course Jake- so when everything goes to hell in a handbasket, the stakes are quite high and we actually give a damn. As for the action. HOLY HELL- forget what you think you know. Cameron still has the touch. No one, and I repeat, no one can direct action like he can. He proves yet again that you don't need to use weird angles, slo mo like we use oxygen and flash frames to make mind blowing action. The McGs, the Tony Scotts, the Michael Bays and the Christopher Nolans of the world would benefit from learning from him. Here is a filmmaker who actually knows how to spend 230 million on a film where every damn frame, nay , every pixel will amaze you. Come Oscar time, I am sure he will get a nomination, and let me be first to say, I am fully rooting for him to win best director.

And now for the fly in the ointment, so to speak, the things that I didn't like. The 2 major points of complaint I had was to do with the music. First of all I do NOT like the theme song. It is plain crappy. The overall music of the film, while it served it's purpose, was nowhere near as memorable as James Horner's other works. I frankly expected better. I would have preferred to see a little bit of earth before the film went directly into the main story, but apparently this was a decision made by the producers , and about 15 minutes of earth footage was cut. Hopefully we will see it in the director's cut. I would have loved to hear more about Eyra and how the Na Vi link works, but oh well, maybe in the sequel perhaps? The transition from the second act to the third , I would have liked to be more detailed, but that is just me nitpicking. Truth be told, the last point I could only think of after thinking about the film's narrative for a good 2 hours. It wont occur to anyone while they are watching it. You, my readers, will be lost in Pandora. I humbly request you to put aside your alternate plans, or your hatred of James Cameron or dislike for action sci fi films and go watch it, because believe me this is history in the making. This will be the bar against which epic films will be compared forever. Is it mere coincidence that James Cameron's initials matches with the other JC?? After Avatar,I am not so sure. I will be watching Avatar again, at least 2 more times in the theater. And with that, my countdown for Battle Angel Alita begins. Come join me in prayer that it will be indeed his next project.

Allow me to end this with a Paean to James Cameron.

Our Cameron, who art in Hollywood,
hallowed be thy Name,
thy Avatar come, thy will be done,
on 3d as it is in 2d
Give us this day our daily cinema
And forgive us our impatience,
as we forgive those who do not understand what you have done.
And lead us not into mediocrity,
but deliver us from bad filmmaking.
For thine is the Stereoscope,
and the mo-cap, and the cg,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

With that, I bid you goodbye, allow me to go back and mope about my underachieving and talentless life.

The Martyrs of Uncanny Valley

2009-12-11T17:18:00.009+05:30

There is a small film due to be released next week in theaters worldwide, and needless to say, I have been keeping a very close eye on its development. That film, if you are not aware of it already is James Cameron's Avatar- his first fiction feature film since Titanic. Cameron had been in the previous years developing a 3d camera system along with Vince Pace which could do a few things that no other system in the world could do. 3d films, up until recently has been mostly been used either in animated feature films, or been used in gimmicky horror or adventure films. The whole perception of 3d has been the age old 'boo! coming at you' routine, where either the monster, or shrapnel, or hero, or most recently a ping pong ball in monsters vs aliens. What 3d cinemas actually lacked was utilization of 3d space, with actual focusing , in shot, while being rendered in 3d. The variable depth of field , in any environment was woefully underused , up until now that is. Another amazing thing that the Pace-Cameron Fusion camera does is to give a real time, live view of the end picture. Since most of Avatar is motion captured, when Cameron was on the sound stage giving orders to his actors, he could (and did) hold on to a device, which is basically a big hand held screen. This screen acts as a virtual camera giving Cameron the view from that point , in real time, and it does this without even showing the actors,but shows him the end picture, i.e, in this case, the animals of Pandora, the 9 feet tall Na vi. Lastly the film's aliens and Pandora's creatures have been rendered to such a photo realistic degree that my words fall short.

Cameron is infamous as a director, being known to be a heartless slave driver, and has what can only be termed as a hate hate relationship with the media. Over and over again, his films have been lambasted before their release as a stupid mistake(this happened before the release of Aliens, The Abyss, T2(which was considered ridiculous for having a 100 million budget) and most prominently Titanic, which was dubbed as the costliest mistake of Hollywood) and time and again he has proved his detractors wrong. The negative press seems to be working full time against Avatar, along with the mounting pressure of expectations that the film will break even the record of Titanic, which to this day holds the highest box office gross in history- 1.8 billion Usd. The closest anyone ever came to that was Lord of the Rings : The Return of the King, which still fell a good 750 million usd short. I do believe that Avatar wont be able to come close to the box office of Titanic, because lets face it, thematically its not as universal as his previous film. Titanic got such a massive income because teenage girls went a dozen times to see the film. That , i doubt will happen in the case of Avatar, their hormone addled brains are busy with the inaneness that is Twilight, and science fiction action adventure might just be something they are entirely willing to miss. As I mentioned earlier, the negative publicity has been for lack of a better word, substantial. Articles, entirely based on hearsay, emailed from random people who apparently saw advanced screenings when no such screenings were even done have been posted on a lot of fan sites. Entire posts have been dedicated to deconstructing the effects work and dubbing it as 'no improvement over Jurassic Park'. I was quite surprised to see so much hate for a film people haven't even seen, and I could not fathom the reasons behind it.Most of my friends have been aware of this film,and everyone who has seen the trailers, i.e , everyone I know of has has had the jaw-hitting-the-floor reaction, which is entirely justified considering the spectacular work done. While thinking about the inexplicable hatred towards Avatar, I remembered an article I had read many years ago, and that, I believe is the main driving force behind it all- The Uncanny Valley.

Very simply put, we humans subconsciously would reject anything that approaches too near to human likeness.This theory was first suggested in 1906 and has been significantly modified since then. In the world of cinema at least there has been quite a few examples of films which has faced weak box office collections, bad reviews and general comments about how the FX / motion capture was just too bad. The greatest example I can think of is Final Fantasy : The Spirits Within. Granted, the film was quite different from the hugely popular game franchise it was adapted from, and that obviously contributed to its bad box office, but the motion capture, the effects was far ahead of what everyone else was doing,but it was such a huge flop that the producers Square Enix had to sell their own company to recover the cost. Roger Ebert at that time was one of the few critics who gave the film a good review, and mentioned Uncanny Valley as the possible prime suspect for its abysmal results. Other films, such as Polar Express had better results, but considering its subject matter, it was pretty insulated from becoming a flop. The last movie to face such unfair criticism was , my personal favorite of the lot- Beowulf. A wonderfully dark reinterpretation of the otherwise straightforward epic poem, Beowulf had it all. Amazing motion capture, great action, and one hell of a film directed by Robert Zemeckis. But still it performed way below expectations. As a matter of fact, it didnt even recover two thirds of its entire budget. Anyway, whether you believe in Uncanny Valley or not is not the subject matter of my rant. Nowadays entire movies are made or destroyed on word of mouth, something which Twilight has proven. Even before a single shot of the film was released, the film was a guaranteed hit. The internet has become a rallying point to either make or break a film. Some of the fan websites have a huge influence on how many people see the film, and in Avatar's case, Cameron seems to have pissed off quite a few of the internet bigwigs. Needless to say, their websites have gone full steam in their rant about just how crappy Avatar is. I am not going to try and make any points about how good or bad Avatar will be, but I will leave you with a few screenshots from Avatar, and you can decide for yourself. As for me, December 18th, first day first show , at AerenR Imax, I am there with my 3d glasses on. If you plan on watching it, please do see it in 3d and in IMAX if possible. One humble request to James Cameron though, please, PLEASE make Battle Angel Alita before you touch any other project. If there ever were a graphic novel and director destined to be coupled together, then its you two.
P.S.- See the photos in its full HD resolution. Click on the thumbnails to see them in hi res.

4 years gone

2009-09-05T17:47:00.002+05:30

This post serves a two fold purpose. One to let you guys know that i am still alive and kicking, and secondly to highlight an inane trivia that i myself wasnt aware of even a few minutes ago.
I started this blog after having put my foot in my mouth and was almost forced into starting a blog just to keep a friend company, and then it became an interesting thing to do. Admittedly i havnt been the most regular writer, but i have tried to assault you, my readers' senses with my highly opinionated rants as often as time has permitted. 4 years later , you would think i would have run out of things to rant about. Oh you poor fools. (Thats right, its the 4 year anniversary for omnisnomicon)
This lull you had been experiencing was just my laziness. I will have MANY things to bitch about soon enough , so if you have appointments to the eye doctor, or ENT or even the psychiatrist that you have been postponing, i suggest you go soon. Because soon i will be back in full force, ranting and bitching about...well everything!
Oh and happy birthday to omnisnomicon.blogspot.com . We are officially four years old and counting.

Valkyrie :review

2009-05-07T00:09:00.006+05:30

As you might have read in the last one year (almost), the making of this film became more infamous than the film itself. With Tom Cruise set to take the lead role, people were already panning the film as a bad idea. The Germans were not too happy either, they even prevented the film from being shot in quite a few actual historical locations, demanding that a scientologist should not be allowed to take on the role of a national hero. After a long uphill battle the film was finally canned, and released.

The plot is probably well known to all of you by now, Colonel Claus Von Strauffenberg , career army officer in the German Panzer division along with a few others hatch a plan to kill Hitler and replace him with a viable German leadership before the Allies reach Germany, and its name is tainted forever in the history books. Operation Valkyrie is so daring a plan, that one would have to either have balls of adamantium or be crazy, or both to launch it. But crazy as the plan might sound, the film is surprisingly faithful to the actual events. I have a special soft spot for WW2 films, and on top of that this is a film which introduced me a to a previously unknown(to me at least) part of WW2 history, so I was already hooked.

Any average history buff will know how Hitler died and therefore they should know that this operation had failed. So by that count, the movie had a very hard task, to make a thriller based on a widely known event in history, where everyone knows it wont end the way the heroes wanted to. Suffice to say, Bryan singer and his team proved more than adequate for the task. For all the loony antics of Tom Cruise in his life outside of his film roles, he is quite a good actor. Anyone, who at the beginning of his career can stand his ground against stalwarts like Dustin Hoffman and Jack Nicholson is a good actor in my book. If you are still unconvinced, I highly recommend Magnolia. Back to the topic at hand. In spite of all the negative criticism pointed towards him , his portrayal of Strauffenberg is quite sufficient for this role. His demeanor and mannerisms at least in my mind fit my idea of someone like Strauffenberg.

What aspect of this film should I praise? Every man has done his job quite well. The pacing of the film is very intense , it is a very old school thriller narrative which once starts doesn't slow down for even a single breathing moment. There are a few scenes in the film which really stood out in my opinion. The opening strafing of the Panzer division by British Spitfires, the first meeting between Strauffenberg and Hitler to name a few. There is one scene involving the standard Heil Hitler salute which is quite electrifying. I only had two complaints for this film, I honestly wished some of the British actors didn't sound so British, a neutral accent should have been aimed for if not necessarily a German English accent. The other aspect is the exclusion of a very important historical figure, Erwin Rommel. But in hindsight, including him would have increased the films time by at least 45 more minutes and would have complicated the plot further. Note- Erwin Rommel was one of the few people openly critical of the Nazis. Only his tremendous success as a military commander kept him out of harms way. When operation Valkyrie failed and the search began for anyone who might even remotely be part of this plan, Rommel's name came up, but there was no evidence. To this date its not known whether he was involved or not. But his wife had stated on many counts that Rommel was against the idea of assassinating Hitler, not because he had any love for him, but he didn't want to make a martyr of that man. Ultimately, because of his popularity and lack of proof, he was spared a long farce of a trial and allowed to commit suicide.

Filmmaking is such a tough job, I honestly sympathize with Bryan Singer and Tom Cruise. The amount of negative propaganda and criticism extended towards he and his team even before anyone had seen the film would be crushing for one's morale. And you are screwed if you decide to do a historical film. There will always be someone who will be unhappy. Take for example , the common reaction of the average american movie goer. The imdb boards are filled with people complaining that the film was too complicated, with people complaining why did Tom Cruise wear an eye patch(one even wondered if he thought himself to be a pirate!!!). This in spite of simplifying the plot, and making the film so easily understandable thanks to its taut narrative pace and clarity in the flow of events. Von Strauffenberg was a charismatic hero in real life. Apparently he was famous for being able to inspire people to follow him into his perilous plans with his speeches. When he was recovering from his injuries in Tunisia, he refused to take morphine , because he didn't want to become an addict. This aspect was not shown in the film, and was another point of criticism extended towards the film. Singer, in response asked a question- Can you imagine Tom Cruise on film, refusing morphine when he is in pain? People wouldn't believe it to be a true incident. I know I wouldn't have.

In the end, I am foremost thankful to Bryan Singer for pursuing this project with Tom cruise for almost a decade(why cruise? the picture above will show that Strauffenberg and Cruise had quite a bit of facial similarity), and Tom Cruise for daring to produce this film which many people had judged even before it was released. It is sad that films like Valkyrie and Lions for Lambs(both produced by Tom Cruise as chief of United Artists) meet this fate, I hope that Cruise continues to choose projects like these. Well done gentlemen, well done.
Highly recommended.

The Wrestler : review

2009-01-15T12:00:00.003+05:30

Before I get into the review, first and foremost i have to thank my friend Kaushik, because of him, I got to watch this film in the first place.

Apart from the occasional wrestler(like Hulk Hogan) I never really cared for the whole wrestling thing, didn't even bother to know their names. I knew it was fake, and I couldn't believe why people watched it , when they could easily watch some other real full contact sport, if thats why they watched it. My logic was simply, these guys are staging something, its got up, make believe. I chalked them up as elaborate stunts,it never occurred to me what punishment these guys took to put on that show. Because lets face it,no matter how much you might "learn" to fall safely,there is always the probability that one mistake can be fatal, or can injure you. Your body might be able to take the punishment, but for how long? I say all this, simply because, being casually dismissive comes easily to me, and this second look, the slightly deeper thought about what torture these guys subject themselves to, was not a luxury granted to me by myself, but this film. Does that mean that I suddenly love this sport? Hardly, but this dichotomy of real/unreal in the world of wrestling, shown by this film made me sit up and take a second look, and that is just one of the achievements of this film.

The wrestler is a peek into the life of has been wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson,who is reduced to doing small time shows, barely making enough money to pay the rent for his trailer. Shot on 16mm, the camera work is almost entirely hand held,giving a very documentary like feel to this movie. Let me say outright,while the sports underdog genre movie has been done to death,this isn't a film like that. Randy isn't a Rocky. He isn't noble, neither is he an underdog. We see him at a point in his life, when he has burnt all his bridges, and is now stranded alone. When he was younger, the bright lights of fame probably blinded him, and being self absorbed and selfish,he didn't see what was more precious. The only semblance of a relationship he has is with a Stripper(Marisa Tomei, in a very good supporting performance), who he likes. Even his daughter wants nothing to do with him.

I really want to review this film without revealing much of the story, so let me get straight into what I loved about the film. The entire cast does a great job, but this film belongs to Mickey Rourke. Maybe its partially because his own past has such an uncanny resemblance to Randy's,that this role that could easily have been played as a tearjerker, or in a matter of fact tone, gets some hidden layers of quality. Now what exactly was in those layers I cant really tell, neither do I want to. But when Mickey is on screen, he demands to be seen, and seen again ( at least in this film). Speaking of layers, he added 30 pounds for this role, and he looks like a big walking piece of pulverized meat. I realize fully that others might not feel the same way, and ultimately cinema itself is a very subjective experience. While the film is about the life of a wrestler, it thankfully is more about his personal life than wrestling matches. And show his personal life it does, warts and all. Come to think of it, its almost all warts. I cannot really discuss the film any further because that would waste the experience for you guys,but once you see the final act of the film you will realize why I so surely said this isn't a ROCKY.

Kudos to Darren Arronofsky for making a wonderful film. Sadly his previous film , The Fountain wasn't that appreciated(which according to this reviewer was quite good). But what a comeback- in the form of the tragedy of a man too old to change his ways,who is only good at one thing.Some will argue that since Mickey's life so closely resembles the characters, it should obviously call for less acting talent than say portraying a role that would be a complete opposite to one's own nature. Not true- its not easy baring one's soul and showing yourself, naked and frail for a role. And on top of that it would be simplifying the character Randy too much. There are such subtle nuances in Mickey's portrayal, and in the script that it is bound to hit a raw nerve. The film has already won a number of awards, and I am being told that Sean Penn will win the Oscar for Milk this year, a film I have not seen, but personally,I know who I will be rooting for. Welcome back Mickey.

Quantum of Solace Review

2008-11-08T18:22:00.002+05:30

Bond, aggrieved but in denial about his lover's death is on a bloodthirsty rampage. Does he find out who was behind it? Does he gain a quantum of solace? Find out.

The shooting of this film had been plagued with accidents. The stunts were supposedly that good. The trailer looked impressive. And yours truly, having missed the chance to see Casino Royale on the big screen didn't miss this chance and was there, first day first show to catch this one. Quantum picks up right after the events of Casino. The film opens with a breakneck, albeit frenetic chase scene...in which Bond is bringing his captive back for interrogation.
The film was ...well to be honest I don't know how to describe this film yet. Is Daniel Craig a good Bond? Depends on what your idea of who bond is, if you love the bond of the films, then sadly he isn't. But thats not his fault. The entire series has gone through a reinvention. But if you have some idea as to how the original novels had described bond, then the answer is a resounding yes. As anyone can figure out, there are certain trade offs to reinventing a franchise. You will end up losing a few fans and gaining some new ones. The silky smoothness, the suave appearance, the suits, the gadgets and the one liners are gone. Instead we have a way more believable super spy- he bleeds, he can be wounded, and he is one ice cold killing machine. And believe you will, Daniel Craig is that good.
The wow factor is more subtle now, in the previous films you would know that the car would be amazing, and that bond would be unhurt, and he would manage a cool line before getting rid of the bad guy. While that had it's own stupid charm, it was getting too old. Here you are amazed by how he keeps his cool even when his car is hurtling towards the ledge. He isn't smiling, he knows the risks, and he does bleed, gets bruised. But man oh man what a MAN! Okay now that we are done with praising Craig, lets move on to the film.

The films main flaw , or what I strongly felt was the major one, was that its trying to be too breakneck in its narrative. We get it, its an all out action version, but a little more exposition wouldn't have hurt. And this is one of those rare action films where the actor actually has the chops to pull off scenes that doesn't require a stunt man. The story progresses too fast. I would have liked a better pacing. To top that off the pacing isn't helped by the often spastic cutting syndrome. This is where Martin Campbell is sorely missed. Marc Foster, quantum's director seemed to only know the close up and the mid close shots. So the action looked (in some places) like a blur. And this is even more frustrating because we already know Craig can do action very nicely. There was no need for such a shot setup. I seem to have inadvertently put the blame on the editors of this film too, but that wasn't my intention. Some of the action is edited beautifully, and it IS a lot of hard work. And most of it has paid off quite well.But the fault lies with the director here, his decisions had a waterfall effect on how the film would be setup, shot and edited. If only Marc foster had decided to place the camera a little further away from the action. Now I am not saying Craig is a judoka or anything, but in casino he went through quite a pumelling and managed to look good while doing it. And in this film, the quick cut plagues some of the car chase and other chases too, where it was not required.

Also,Foster seems to LOVE inter cutting between the actual event to another side story altogether. The interrogation is constantly inter cut with the horse race. Unless there was some entirely different stunt caper thought out, there was no need to show that a dozen times. This isn't monster's ball Foster. Get over it already. Which brings me to the other question, if the producers knew beforehand that they would do a direct sequel, why not bring in Martin to direct it? It would certainly have had a more uniform feel in terms of camera work and editing. Quantum as a standalone film feels less like a bond film and more in the ranks of those spastic quick cut Bourne films(yes, i don't like them much,so what?). My advise is watch Casino right before you go in to see Quantum, that way it might feel like a single story, albeit a long viewing experience.

A few minor problems. Was it me or was the makeup all different in different shots? The bond title track is the worst I have heard. Although nice titling sequence. I liked the slightly anti American rant(who doesn't!). It was good to see the REAL original super spy outsmart the Americans. And lastly the product placement. I would have hoped it would have been slightly lesser but oh well. And in spite of being a fan of Sony Ericsson,the taking photographs from so far away and identifying faces with facial recognition software bit is laughable to say the least. Watch out for the first official film appearance of Windows Longhorn multitouch interface though... that made me feel all warm and gooey inside.

So , is it worth watching? Oh yes! Specially on the big screen. But you might just slip up and say oh Bourne, Jason Bourne.( Funny how they match, eh? J(james/jason) B(bond/bourne))
Incidentally if they were to fight it out, who would win? My money is on Bond. Another solid outing for Craig as bond, but lackluster when compared to the stellar Casino Royale. Lets hope Campbell comes back to direct another one, or better yet, Marc Foster doesn't return.

Motorola Yuva A810 review

2008-09-28T17:59:00.006+05:30

Having lost my beloved motorola A1200 aka MotoMing phone to a fraud, I had to go on the hunt for a new phone. After much research and internet chat board debate I finalized two models the Motorokr E6 and the HTC Gene P3400i.They were both very competitively priced but the Gene beat the Motophone in almost every aspect. Bigger screen faster processor, ram and definitely a more user friendly OS, if only more vulnerable. When we went to the shop to buy the HTC, I noticed two aspects which turned me off from the phone permanently.Being the cheapest of the HTC models, its build was quite flimsy. I was afraid I would break it within the first month itself.The other problem was the SD card slot on the top had NO COVER! So what you had was a gaping hole on the top where water, moisture could get in.I have no idea why HTC made such a mistake when a rubber stopper cover is so cheap and effective. Anyway, long story short, the shop keeper then showed me the Moto Yuva A810, a derivative brother of the motorokr E6 and the latest model. In fact after having researched new phones for a week i hadnt even seen photos of it anywhere. But it was very competetively priced. At 7450 (approx 160$) it looked like a steal.
Now that I have used the phone for a good 24 hours, how is it? Read the first ever english review of the A810 to find out-

Specs
The following are the specs of the Motorola Yuva A810

General 2G Network Quad band
Announced 2008, June
Size Dimensions 105 x 51 x 14 mm
Weight 100 g
Display Type TFT touchscreen, 256K colors
Size 240 x 320 pixels, 2.2 inches
- Handwriting recognition
Ringtones Type Polyphonic, MP3
Customization Download
Vibration Yes
Memory Phonebook Yes, Photo call
Call records 30 dialed, 30 received, 30 missed calls
Card slot microSD (TransFlash), up to 2 GB, buy memory
Data GPRS Class 10 (4+1/3+2 slots), 32 - 48 kbps
HSCSD No
EDGE Class 10, 236.8 kbps
3G No
WLAN No
Bluetooth Yes, v1.2 with A2DP
Infrared port No
USB Yes, v2.0
Features Messaging SMS, MMS, Email
Browser WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML (Opera v8.5)
Games Yes
Colors Excellent Black and White Shang-chi
Camera 2 MP, 1600x1200 pixels, video
- Java MIDP 2.0
- Stereo FM radio
- MP3/WAV/WMA/AAC+ player
- 3.5 mm audio output jack
- Voice memo
- Built-in handsfree
Battery Standard battery, Li-Ion 910 mAh
Stand-by Up to 150 h
Talk time Up to 4 h

As you can see, the Phone has a smaller screen than the Ming and the E6, smaller by approximately 0.2 inches. And don't be fooled by the tri-band listing in other websites, the India release model of the A810 is quad band.

Looks
Here are the different views of the phone. I don't know about you, but Motorola surely isn't going to win any awards with this design. It's functional and spartan and although the photos might make the blue outline seem okay but in person it looks a tad tacky. Still, without it it would have looked too empty. Below the touch screen there are 3 buttons. In the middle is the 5 way direction joystick. To the left is the cancel/switch off/switch on button and to the right is the select button, just in case you don't want to use the touchscreen. The left side of the phone sees the volume control and above that the 3.5 mm headset jack. On the top is the locking mechanism which has to be pressed to open the back of the phone. To the right side is the usb port which is used to charge the phone and connect to the PC. Below that is the Camera button followed by the locking key, which when slid up locks the phone and when slid down opens it up.
The rest of the looks of the camera is pretty clear from the pictures.

Screen
The screen is slightly smaller (0.2 inches to be exact) than the E6 and the rokr screens, but it looks sharp. The images appeared crystal clear, possibly even sharper than the ming. I realize this shouldn't be mentioned here, but in the ming if the photos used were more or less around the same size, it would fit most of the photo, chopping out a part of it. Here it fits the entire image, which is good, but the resizing leaves space either on the top/bottom or the sides.which shows up as white bars.

Calls messaging and other features.
I made Local , STD and International calls and the reception and voice clarity was pretty good. One major glitch, one of the few crippling things about this revamped OS (or is it old? i don't know) was when I sent queries to the network, like showing an on screen balance. The phone just stuck to the requesting screen and you could see the cursor blinking on the screen behind it , after quite a while a message box appears but its blank. I tried it quite a few times, with 2 different networks and still the problem persisted.
Overall the new look of the OS essentially means fancier icons, in reality it is more or less the same as the ming or the E6. Although I found the response time to be much slower than the ming, which was my previous phone. Even the simplest tasks , like opening the alarm clock took a good 2.5 seconds. Don't get me wrong, the ming was slow too, but this was frustrating. I thought that this was because of the 2gb memory card I had put in, so I changed it and put in a 512 mb card to check if the response became faster( this has been known to happen with smart phones, putting in their max capacity memory card sometimes slows it down). But sadly this had nothing to do with the memory card, even with the 512 mb completely blank card, it took exactly the same time to open up each and every icon. Again my gut instinct tells me that this is some fatal flaw in the OS. On the other hand, strangely, changing the color scheme of the phone, something that took the ming nearly 8-11 seconds to do, happened instantly each and every time with this phone.It was blazing fast in this aspect.The start up and shut down menu also has gone through some changes and it looks fancier.But how do these things matter when in the real performance as a touchscreen phone it is slow?

Music and Video
The media player and video player are separate now and its not real player anymore. Playback was quite fine, but a few minor issues- the volume control is a step up control, meaning it increases by about 12% for every mark on the volume level. If the real player could have a progressive control, then why couldn't the supposedly new player have this?
The earphones given with this handset is so bad that i cant even begin to talk about it. The sound wasn't good in this. I attached my isound DJ monitoring headphone to the phone and listened to quite a of tracks. Music playback was quite good , at least for a non audiophile like me it was quite satisfactory. Still, I strongly recommend people should factor in buying another headset to enjoy music on this phone. The Creative EP 630 is highly recommended, it comes with noise isolation.
As for the video playback it was decent,but it does not support real media files anymore.
The phone has only played mp4 and 3gp videos until now, and i sincerely hope that this is not what motorola had in mind when they were advertising this as a media phone. Maybe an update will solve that?

Other changes in the phone include having a button for connecting to the computer, which means that just attaching the wire wont do, you have to activate it from the phone itself.The phone also has additional icons from yatra.com ,presssmart and google , but I couldn't check how good its internet connection was since my GPRS wasn't activated yet. The phone also has EDGE.

Photo Editor
The photo editor was quite disappointing. when you open a large file, it opens in the actual size and you cant resize it to fit the screen with the editing options available. This is highly irritating, specially since the 3 year old motoming had this feature.I cant understand why motorola chose not to include this. The open with option has been changed to edit, and in most cases ,i.e, any file above 110 kb the editing software refuses to open saying its too big. I can understand that motorola needed to downscale the phone, but this is ridiculous. The ming could easily open upto 250kb files.

The phones auto lock feature is a bit weird. And from what i read online it seems to be similar to the rokr. With the ming you could arrange it so that it asks for a password when you want to unlock it. But in this phone it can be opened with the slide to unlock key. So basically its not secure. The only time it asks for a code is when you restart the phone. I cant say i am happy with this. But then again, other phones have this feature, so i can only assume its popular.

Games
The phone has something called Krishcricket, which is basically a set of cricket games, which i found to be quite boring.

Camera & Video
My initial impression was that the camera was lightyears ahead of the ming, but now i am not so sure. I will try posting some images so you can have a comparative idea as to how good they are, i will post some more photos as the week progresses. I have 2 cameras, so a camera phone was not a priority for me. But it seems to take decent photos, so I am satisfied. One thing though, the live preview on this phone seems to be lagging behind , it feels choppy.The ming had a slight lag too,but this is more noticeable. And it takes much longer to save an image. The video is decent, I felt it was more or less at par with videos taken by the ming.

Conclusion
The phone is aimed for people who want a smart phone on a tight budget. Understandably, motorola had to make compromises to fit it into a lesser budget. Therefore the smaller screen. But motorola seems to have jumped into the fray without being fully prepared for this. The OS has quite a few flaws, and the reaction time to every instruction can be irritating.
But from what little i could find out, the configuration is around the same as the ming, and it shouldn't be slow. I blame the OS for this. Even though the OS looks snazzy, it has problems. It will need a LOT of tweaking.

Some minor complaints. So many people on their own have designed skins and themes for the linux based phones, motorola couldn't be inspired by them? A phone aimed to be a media/fun phone it still has only 3 color schemes, black, blue and white(the same as the ming). Quite disappointing. A media phone should allow for some level of customization, and this was not satisfactory. But wait! It gets better. I tried the installation cd which would update the motorola software. But the software didn't even recognize the phone! A quick check on the motorola website revealed that this phone wasn't even on their website yet.This is just sloppy. The software therefore couldn't find any updates because they hadn't even included it.
Starting the Motorola phone tools software also caused problems, every time it reached 100% it stuck there,but I am willing to concede it might be a problem with my computer.I will try it on another computer and post if i get a favorable response. The price tag makes this phone a steal yes, but I don't think this is the right time to buy this phone. Its very new and it definitely needs some updates in its OS.
If this is the phone you want, then wait a while, keep checking the motorolafans and motorola website. While on the surface level this phone might be snazzy, but take it from me, a motorola fan,the company should have done some more work on this phone. Let's hope motorola fixes these issues soon. But if the time lags arn't an issue for you, then this is a good phone. As for me, if this is indeed an OS issue, I hope that Motorola quickly releases an update which solves this.
I hope this review was helpful for you, I realize this is hardly a 100% proffessional review but I have tried to make it as comprehensive as possible.
Lastly, some comparative shots of photos taken by the A810 and the nokia 3500c
Nokia

A810

The perils of being safe

2008-08-01T21:54:00.007+05:30

My friends will vouch for the fact that I am not one for political discussions. I guess I have been lucky enough to be able to have a blase attitude about the machinations that runs this country, or any other for that matter. I generally tend to avoid the newspapers headlines .Primarily because I am sick of the same old stories, and lets face it, when was the last time you saw a happy headline?

Anyway, the last few days has been a very difficult time for India . We have had close to 50 bomb threats. Out of which nearly 25 were detonated. What I felt like discussing was the current scenario, and ask you, my readers, your opinion about what can or cannot be done.
This new stage, and I call it a new stage in terrorism in India because the tactics have changed somewhat, now they seem more focused on putting the fear in people than killing, or maybe this is a point of view thats granted to us, thanks to the tireless and very admirable work of the Indian Police force. This new scenario poses deeper questions for our country. If you will remember, the NDA government had implemented the POTA( Prevention Of Terrorism Act) in 2002 and the first thing the UPA Government under Mr Manmohan Singh did was to repeal it. Before the POTA, there were other acts, namely the original TADA , followed briefly by the POTO act(which lasted less than a year).

Now don't get me wrong, this is not a rant against the UPA or the NDA. My questions are merely as a civilian.

With the POTA act being repealed, the Indian penal code was left with no other substitute laws to go by. Now, POTA itself is a very dangerous act. I say this because like it's American counterpart the Patriot act, it has a very wide umbrella under which anyone deemed suspicious can be taken into custody, without any charges, and kept in jail for a maximum of 6 months. Also, this allows the police and the Indian Penal code to take confessions made in police custody as evidence. Previously, a person could deny their statements made in custody.Now , this effectively means that if under sufficient mental and/or physical torture, someone confesses to something , then that's it for them.

Whether you like, dislike , support or condemn laws like these is irrelevant. There is no denying the fact that we are living in troubled times. I will try and play the devil's advocate here and explain the dangers of both sides. Recently Advani, the current leader of the BJP demanded in light of current events that POTA be reinstated. That coupled with new anti terror laws, will give immense power in the hands of the counter terrorism and police forces. To put it very dramatically, its nearly a prodigal license to kill. Many civilians have died before, and with more acts of terrorism, the government will be forced to take a strong stance. If such a law does come into play, this will destroy the lives of many civilians. But the other alternative is also a bad one. Our police forces are already ill equipped, and in our country it is especially hard to track down people, considering the wide variety in social class and lack of technology in every area. Even post the Mumbai bomb blasts, the perpetrators vanished from the city going from one village to the other. Our officers are by no means unqualified. But this situation is the equivalent of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either options will shape up badly for us. We, as a country have a history of communal violence, and thats also a distinct and scary possibility if this trend continues.With any counter terrorism laws like the POTA, its up to the people to apply it as they see fit. Without stronger laws, it is difficult to capture and break the backs of these networks. Unless the UN unilaterally starts acting against Pakistan, I don't see how this will stop anytime soon. Economy is the new power(relatively new) and that is the only viable way in which they can force countries to actively discourage terrorism. Although that brings other ethical issues into play, cutting funds and aid would affect more civilians albeit in another country.

But generally speaking, we as a country revel in breaking laws. From the littlest do not litter or you will be fined sign to larger ones, its a part of the mindset, dare I say that its only natural to break the laws the do not suit us. New laws, taking a harsh stance on terrorism, or even pressurizing other countries, in the long run probably wont help as much as we hope it will. Take into account the prank bomb threats that were made in the last week alone. Not only is it disturbing to think that people would find that funny, but to do something like that also shows a blatant disregard for life and ethics in general. Unless we as a nation start obeying laws, and the government decides to give the police and judicial system a major overhaul(that includes reviewing much of our own laws, which are quite ancient) , demanding more active application of the laws, we will remain a country mired in a sea of trouble.I digress, and I am by no means suggesting that common theft equates to terrorism, and however you might feel about this situation, one thing is definitely for sure. We need to meditate on this before embracing any law that makes us feel safe for the time being . I guess I am as confused as the next person regarding the current state of affairs. I frankly do not know what would be a better option among the two I mentioned above. I would like to hear what you have to say regarding this. Sure we could always take the often pragmatic view that this just seems different, its always been like that, and shrug it off, but humor me, enlighten me or criticize me, like they say- let's get it on.

REVIEW : The Dark Knight

2008-07-22T00:16:00.008+05:30

You have to see this film tamal, and if you cannot enjoy this, I pity you.
Seriously you should see this, it's so much fun
I liked it.
I loved it.
Try to see it without analyzing it too much, that way you might enjoy it.

These were the advise given to me by my friends, all of whom have liked The Dark Knight to a certain degree. The numbers are in. TDK has the honor of the highest opening 3 day collection ever, 156 million $.That’s just the US alone. I am pretty sure, come Friday , the 7 day worldwide collection figures will hit a cool 250 million easily. So what did I think of this film? I will get to that in a minute, but seeing as my opinion might be lets say somewhat unpopular I need to clarify a few things.
I admit, I let the media frenzy bias me against the film.
I do not like Nolan's interpretation of Batman in the previous film so there is that additional bad aftertaste.
I also admit I was a tad jealous, during my college years I had talked my friends to death about what I would do if I was allowed to make Batman, That included calling the first film The Dark Knight. Hah, I was ahead of my time! It also included plans for a 11 part epic structure, charting the fall and return of the caped crusader. Aaah such grand dreams. Anyway, back to the topic.
The hype surrounding Heath Ledger's performance really got me riled up. Comments like who is Jack Nicholson, and that he is more talented than Marlon Brando by award winning film critics stank of hard selling a film. If anything, this felt like a landmark win for the marketing and publicity division of Warner Bros. These were my thoughts even the night before I went to watch the film. Today morning, on my way to the theatre, I swore that I would try to be as unbiased as possible.12 hours later I think I have sufficiently digested the film to be able to write a review that should be able to explain my feelings. Please understand, this is not my bid at showing off just how elitist I am or how commonplace everyone’s taste is. I have the distinct feeling that I am probably not the audience for this film, so my opinion hardly matters. The verdict is that people love it, and there will be more of Batman in this vein.

Batman , straight from my childhood is my favorite superhero. So understandably the emotional investment in this is far greater than you can imagine. When I saw Batman Begins, when I figured that Nolan had turned Batman into a ninja and he was getting slapped into his senses by toms and janes, I couldn’t help but be repulsed by it. I remember that’s the only time in my life, that I wanted to walk out of the theatre. So before going to watch this film I thought it would be better if I saw it as a standalone rather than a follow up to that atrocious film. So without much further ado, here is my critique. Warning, spoilers galore.

Story- I liked the fact that the joker tells everyone a different origin story, I like the idea of not explaining his origins. But for all the supposed realism in the script these points bothered me a lot-
Joker gets beaten up a lot in the interrogation room, but no scars, no bruises . Bruce Wayne suddenly figures, in the Dent dedication party someone is coming to kill Harvey Dent? HOW?? Someone explain to me how the sonar works, because I was under the impression that only
the phone created by Lucius fox could do them, not any phone. If that is indeed the case, then
that renders the whole plot point of Batman finding the Joker to be completely stupid. Gordon
dies, but wait, he isn't dead after all. Why such an elaborate ruse? It seems it was set up purely to surprise the audience. Because his death wouldn’t have drawn out the joker, or gotten a confession out of any mob boss. With the joker's disfigured face, he is walking at the front of the police guards and no one notices him? The batman, supposedly the smartest superhero of them all gets his gears through Wayne Enterprises but keeps a long paper trail to have a two bit executive find them and try to blackmail fox about it?
Also the realistic look of the bat suit notwithstanding, the cowl and neckline looked eerily like
Azrael's batsuit.Not cool.But that’s a minor fanboy complaint.

Acting- First and foremost, as much as I love Christian Bale, and I do LOVE that man's work, he is plain shitty as Bruce Wayne, and his Batman voice is laughable at best. Note Christian, hoarse isn’t scary, hoarse is...hoarse.
Michael Caine , Gary Oldman and Aaron Eckhart do their roles very well, specially Eckhart. Although I didn't see much chemistry between Eckhart and Gylenhall. But in her minor role, Maggie's final sequence was touching.
Morgan Freeman played....Morgan Freeman. God I hope he gets some good roles, I miss the old him.

Now for the actor of the hour. Heath Ledger. May he rest in peace.
There are these quirks about his portrayal of the joker, that are quite good, like how he licks his face every now and then, he always looks at everyone with a little tilt in his head. Pity he never gives his maniacal laughter up close, the two times it came, it was seen from his back and from a distance. I would have wanted to see his eyes then(this is where Nicholson looked forgive the pun batshit craaaazy). I admire the man for having the balls to take on Jack Nicholson. One particular moment though deserves mention, You can't see the joker, but he tells one victim to look at him, and in the final time shouts "LOOK AT ME!" .That was good.

Is it oscar material? Honestly I don't know. I guess for me in the big picture I see so many far greater portrayal of evil men, which should have gotten Oscars( like Kevin Spacey as John Doe in SE7EN or Ralph Fiennes as Amon Goeth in Schindler's List), but didn't that this hardly seems like one deserving of that award. Still, quite good work. This is a different Joker though, and it would be unfair to compare the two. Lets not forget, even Burton's Batman is non-canon, and he made Batman into a murderer. I guess my gripe is that the joker got reduced to a murdering a few people at a time, when for the most part in the comics he has done crimes and murders on a much larger scale. Considering the films take no prisoners attitude, I think it could have been quite possible to do both. The joker in this film feels like another Hollywood psychopath. In the comics, he is unpredictable and quite smart. He stays ahead of everyone else because his insanity makes people think he is just in for the ride but he is someone locked in a circle of trying to top himself, and you also get the feeling that there is a method to his madness.

Action- This is my biggest gripe about the film. The action is for lack of a better word, very under whelming. Except for the shot where the bat mobile rams into the big rig truck, I found no other action shots to be memorable. For a 185 Million dollar film, and that too a big superhero film, I would have expected much better action. And some of the bat bike cgi was plain bad. Before you cringe, let me give you a few examples of films done for nearly the same budget, which in my opinion had far greater action.

Die Hard 4- 110 mil
Transformers-150 mil
The original Batman film-35 mil only!
Even the original Hulk- 137 million.

Sure , I don't expect Transformers to happen in a Batman film, But my complaint isn't the lack of any particular kind of action, but rather, a lack of real imagination of awe inspiring scale(again by comparison of scale, batman begins had far greater stakes).Take for example, the original jokers final attempt at creating mayhem. Jacko goes out in a ticker tape parade, announcing that he will be giving free money, knowing all the time that people's greed will bring them out and will be prime fodder for his machinations. The whole set piece feels near operatic. And the showdown is also much larger than life.
4 days into the film, and there is already talks of a posthumous Oscar and a best picture
oscar.IMDB lists it as the best film of ALL TIME, beating the likes of Schindler's List, Godfather and a host of other films. Forgive me if I don't get on that bandwagon. I didn't like the ending for one, the last lines by Gordon was cheesy enough to remind of of the 60's Adam West Batman show. And Two face reduced to being a puppet in the Joker's hands? Sigh.
One last gripe, and a major one if you will-for that brilliant setting where one ferry has the bomb trigger for the other one, I don't buy the cop out conclusion to that, that the people, after seeing what the Joker can do, don't break from their civilized lives and destroy each other. To me the film would have been redeemed a LOT if only they would have killed each other off, thereby giving the joker a very skewed legitimacy,(also in turn testing batman's faith a lot more cruelly) that civilization is but a mask. For all the shouts of a realistic bat world, this stretched credibility into a filmy 'life is beautiful, people aren't beasts' ending. Blah. On a side note, I personally would have shown some people refusing to participate in the vote itself, refusing to stoop to the Joker's level. This to me would have shown the best in humanity, and coupled with the worst, that is the people ready to kill off others in a bid for survival would have made it a spectacular plot point.

For me this film was lackluster-I guess my disappointment measures directly proportional to just how close they got to getting it right. When Nolan was selected as director, I hoped for the best-sadly that was not to be. The only highlight of this film was Heath Ledger's last performance.
I wonder how this film will be seen once the frothy mouthed frenzy dies down and is seen solely on the merits of its story, rather than the glorified and untimely death of a fine actor.

R.I.P. Stan

2008-06-17T10:19:00.004+05:30

Stan Winston, the virtual father of physical make up and special effects of Hollywood has passed away. He was only 62. He lost his battle against plasma cell cancer. The legendary makeup and fx artist, in his career had been nominated for 10 oscars, winning 4- winning 2 for Terminator 2 Judgment Day, 1 each for Artificial Intelligence and Aliens. He had created the Predator, Aliens,Terminator and even the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park all in his workshop. My friends will know how much I was in love with T2 in particular. Even in his last days, he was working extensively. You have even seen his latest work on the silver screen in the form of Iron Man's armors and the special effects for James Cameron's yet to be released Avatar. Take your time to go to imdb and check his extensive resume out. I doubt there is one human out there who is into Hollywood films, and hasn't seen this legend's handiwork.

Goodbye Stan. You are a major reason why I fell in love with the movies. You were , still are one of the greats. We will miss you.

What's wrong with this picture?

2008-06-10T23:36:00.002+05:30

Here, have a look at this desi original, with Mithunda's son in the poster.....

and here, we have another film poster, this time from Hollywood-

The poster above is Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven. Aah Bollywood, gotta love it.

On political correctness and pressure tactics

2008-06-06T22:37:00.004+05:30

Having realized I havn't ranted to you, my readers, in quite some time, I finally have come back with an issue which had me thinking for some time.
Thanks to current media coverage , every idiot's comment made in however haste becomes the next big issue.Take for example the recent blunder Sharon Stone made. While trying to use a photo op to talk about Tibet, she said the earthquake in china was bad karma.Now don't get me wrong, what she said was quite stupid. Not that I expect great nuggets of knowledge from a glorified bimbo, but I digress. Here is what she said

"Well you know it was very interesting because at first, you know, I'm not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else,And so I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do about that because I don’t like that. And I had been this, you know, concerned about, oh how should we deal with the Olympics because they are not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a good friend of mine. And then this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and then I thought, is that karma? When you're not nice bad things happen to you?"

This is the same woman who a few years ago said "All the exes in my life either had an offbeat mother or underwent some kind of childhood crisis. They were unbalanced, looking for parental guidance and they see me as the mother figure.I think all men are dogs. I honestly do. You know every man starts barking sooner or later.At least my character in BASIC INSTINCT has the good sense to kill men afterwards, so they won't go around sprouting nonsense."

As you can clearly see, she isn't known for intelligent comments. She even claimed once that she had gone to Mensa school when there wern't any mensa schools at all. But what she did say was to hint towards the fact that it might be the result of bad karma. I get it, she has to be held accountable. So newspapers blast her lack of brains. Americans now feel ashamed to be called american because of her and cosmetics giants fire her.

Really? Thats the biggest issue at hand? Is that the only headline our media, who I assume is more intelligent than Sharon Stone could find to harp on? That's the biggest issue that they could crusade against? Every small town reporter takes the littlest of stories and cries foul and when they get that person publicly hated they do their victory dance. Talk about patting one's own back. I wonder why I havn't seen enough talk on Darfur, the Iranian president for suggesting all kaffirs should die Or Dubya for that matter. Celebs need to be more politically correct than everyone else, to keep their varied number of fans happy. My problem isn't with her opinion, she has changed religions thrice in the last 2 decades, going from Scientology to Buddhism and has been making an ass out of herself for years. My problem is with the media and how they pick the easy targets. I don't see any major active effort in curbing anti homosexual, or even anti racist propaganda anywhere. Discounting the lone voices, most of these 'brave' reporters skirt by the real issues.

Again , I digress. My rant is two fold. One part of it is directed against the media, and the other part on this trend of pressure tactics and taking political correctness too far. One of the basic human rights is freedom of speech. Now of course I dont mean anyone should get away with anything and there shouldn't be any accountability. My question is this, where do you draw the line? We are living in an age when every little group has a PR exec, and some form of media backing. And every few days you hear someone being forced to retract their statements. I am not getting into whether the statements were hurtful or not, all I am saying is that this is damaging freedom of speech quite badly. And these pressure tactics are not about righting wrongs, they are only about having the last say.

It's not about the little man getting his/her vindication, its about I am big enough for you to be wary of me, so be careful what you say. If the organization is big enough, its untouchable. You make any accusation and you can be dragged to court. Take the Hindutva fanatics for example. A few months ago Aamir khan went to some ceremony where the Indian flag was flown at half mast, and a patriot filed a case against him, citing that his presence was traitorous to the country. Richard Gere kisses Shilpa Shetty on stage about Aids awareness and people are screaming for his blood, going on endlessly about how he hurt the Indian sentiment. Now I wonder, if I filed a case against Narendra Modi , that he offends me by being alive, would that get enough attention? Would that cement my career? You know what they say, a controversy is a great way to gain attention. I realize that my rant is becoming quite wide in its berth, and there are many issues to be discussed under this umbrella, but humour me. It's a rant, not a research paper.

If the media is actually that unbiased and looking to right wrongs, why dont we see enough criticism of Christian militant action thats starting to take form in the US? Or children's cartoons being used to teach terrorism to Muslim kids? Why doesnt the media force these people to retract statements and apologize for their insensitivity? Arn't there thousands of far more important issues?

My other issue is on political correctness but I am only going to highlight 2 examples in Hollywood which I know about. First and foremost, the famous game God of War is being made into a film.

For the uninitiated, God of war follows Spartan warrior Kratos, as he is assigned the duty of killing the God of War by Athena herself. Now in the game the character is voiced by an African American, that itself was the only nagging thing about the game. Now the film version is going to star a black actor(supposedly Djimon Honsou). Is it just me, or does that sound insane? The game was cool not only for the action, but for its deep connection to Greek mythology. And the lead character is even Spartan, then why cast a black actor? Is that really going to guarantee box office attendance? Or is the African American population that stupid that they will only go if they see a black Spartan? The God of war movie can be brainless enough to match or even outdo 300, which didnt have any black actors in the lead but still was a huge box office success.
The other is another film being made on the life of Hannibal Barca,the general of the Carthaginian empire. Now Hannibal was a Phoenician, who were the ancestors of modern day Brits, Scots and Anglo Saxons. He was 100 % caucasian. Then why on earth would Vin diesel be cast in that role?

Being part of the film industry I can truly understand the need to take audience tastes into account. But to believe that race of the actor can guarantee success,or for the producers to justify such casting by saying that in this day and age it is the right thing to do, to cast a member of an entirely different race supposedly for racial unity, is reprehensible. Again, it simply becomes an issue of how far is too far. I know what you must be thinking, it's just a movie who cares. You are probably right , I might be reading too much into this. But for the life of me, I can't reconcile this in any way. Any insights?

Movie reviews

2008-04-30T14:08:00.003+05:30

It turned out that finding an embedded player which will only play the music in my blog article and not let it be downloaded , is a big problem. Therefore the plans to upload my music is stalled for the time being.
In the meanwhile, here are a few movie reviews. As usual comments are welcome.

Vexille - This sci fi 3d animation had a much more interesting plot. The animation is nice. Storyline leaves me wanting to know more. The movie even has huge worms ala Dune. Thief!

Appleseed 2 - Hate the soundtrack. Hate it. Fails to reach the uber action high of the first film. Impressive animation. Again, absolutely no story whatsoever. Masamune Shirow's work gets the hollywood dose. Not good. The first film wasn't that awesome either.

Tripping the rift the movie - Majorly unfunny film, looks like this franchise is only good as short animations, not for a feature film.

Lions for lambs - A very talky film, and is a very nice take on the current situation in America. What is interesting is that the film manages to represent all sides so... meticulously. Robert Redford directs quite well, fine acting by Redford , Streep and Cruise

Vantage point- Rashomon style narrative makes for an interesting thriller. Although I wish the ending was less over the top. Still, fun to watch. Could have been made shorter though.

War - Overly hyped and badly made. The first plot twist was interesting though. The others were not. Remember boys and girls, you don't need a good script if you have the flavor of the week stars.

Bee movie - The trailer hadn't impressed me much , neither did the animation and even though I was biased at the beginning, the writing is quite funny. And who doesn't like Jerry Seinfeld!

Dan in real life - Steve Carrell is growing on me. Juliette Binoche is awesomely beautiful as ever. Some parts of the story seem too forced to make the love triangle clear. Yeah, we got it in the trailer itself. Storyline is awfully like The Family Stone. This one is a light comedy, that one was more dramatic.

Elizabeth the golden age - Cate Blanchett is good, so is Geoffrey Rush and Clive Owen, but somehow the film feels like one major damp squib. Historical inaccuracies abound.

Walk hard the dewey cox story - A parody mish mash of famous singers, the comedy could have been much funnier but kept oscillating between tongue in cheek humour and crass parody in the class of a scary movie.

Eragon - A huge squandering of talent in the name of a movie. Jeremy Irons, Robert Carlysle and John Malkovich try their best, but adapting fantasy epics is quite difficult. In the end it feels like watching a film on fast forward.

Wheels on meals - This classic kung fu movie is 25 years old and still entertaining to watch. The comedy does get old and pointless at times. But if you know about this film, then you have probably come to watch jackie chan fight the undefeated kickboxing champion Benny Urquidez , which is quite something to watch.

Jab we met - Very interesting first half - i specially liked the opening sequence, well written. Probably the only film where Kareena Kapoor wasn't puke worthy. Although it does become inane in the second half.

Futurama: Bender's Big Score _ It's a great pleasure seeing Fry and gang back in action. The dialogues are as witty as ever, and funny as hell. You could easily sit with a counter to see how many jokes they make about the network executives who canceled their show. Tons of fun.

Well, thats it for the time being, more movie reviews will follow in the next few days.

Photos

2008-04-23T23:26:00.005+05:30

I have returned, with more excuses as to why I havn't been posting much. Then again, maybe not. In other news, my playback project is gaining pace, and the Dolby mixing for the song is almost done. Once it is finished (in the next 3 days or so) , i will embed it on my blog so I can make your ears bleed. Mwhahahaha! I hadn't been watching many movies for some time, but that's behind me. I will return soon, with a spew of one line reviews for some of the films I have seen recently.

Till then, here are some photos for your viewing pleasure. The other person appearing regularly in the photos is the object of my affection, Ashlee Childers.

That's not holi, that's ....war paint!

Don't ask. It's one of those silly moments. But fun nonetheless. Felipto/Sudipto seems to have the biggest bite of us all! Feed us now!

Victoria grounds, with Indira. Ashlee seems to be praying to the camera!
Caption contest!

That's holi at my house. Yes, you can make fun of the pose.

With Ritam, Anasuya and friends.

The menu card photos are quite real When asked, they couldn't explain what they were.Honest!

Yes sir, we do sell egg pouches and people fry - like our sign says, we cater to a quite different crowd! And doesn't fry people remind you of South Park's Crab People? Craaaab people, Craaaab people, taste like crab, talk like people!

Well, that's it for today, I am bushed, tired,exhausted,pooped....uhm..ran out of synonyms, sorry.
See you soon, hopefully tomorrow with a bunch of film reviews. As usual, comments are welcome.

Hiatus

2008-02-10T01:22:00.000+05:30

Needless to say that my self imposed hiatus has been more due to my laziness than any other reason. I have been keeping busy- finished reading the His Dark Materials trilogy, romancing, making a quick visit to Delhi and then went to Mumbai to finish my short films. Mumbai was a revelation but not exactly a good one. Finding a place to stay was an utter nightmare. Thank god for friends.

Watching your own film being screened in a theater for the first time, I must say is a very surreal experience. Your ears are attentive, trying to listen to whether the handful of people attending are making any comments. Although most of them are just crew members or people from Adlabs or friends who wouldn't be too harsh. And lets not forget the nagging feeling that you have done quite possibly the worst work of the millennium and the other voice saying, its not that bad...its okay! Yes ladies and gents I have come down with yet another bout of the crazies.

I have also been staying at the campus on weekdays which has drastically reduced my access to the internet. Which would explain this communication ban of sorts. But I am trying to get back on track in terms of keeping in touch with everyone. Lets see how that works out! For some reason I feel quite at a loss for words , so I will keep this update short. Took some photos, so will just upload that. See you soon. As usual, bouquets and/or brickbats are in demand.

The return

2007-09-23T16:14:00.000+05:30

Let me start by saying that although I have been thinking about updating my blog, I havn't had the time to do so which of course resulted in this long hiatus of sorts. So what have I been doing in the last 2 months? Let's see, I shot and finished my documentary film. Which incidentally, my dad saw, and reviewed thus-"good camera work,sound-I like the editing too-but it seems direction less." I was the director of course. Oh the irony of it all. Anyway, after the disaster that was my documentary I moved on to another short film shoot among other things, and wrapped that up. That was a whirlwind in itself, and quite harrowing but fun nonetheless. Oh and in between I have been battling depression over the constant worries of future unemployment among other misfortunes to befall me. That's me ladies and gentlemen, my blog makes my life sound more melodramatic than a sitcom. Only difference is that the laugh track only plays for God.

So what films have I seen? I saw certain a film called Transformers, and although it has an atrocious editing style, I still loved it. Saw TMNT and liked that too. Today I managed to see the dud that was The Fountain, and I must confess that in my book, the film deserves praise for trying something so different alone. Although, I wouldn't call the film a sci fi at all. It is a very philosophical film. Hugh Jackman is proving himself to be an increasingly good actor with every passing role. The film, I have to admit isn't very audience friendly, but still thank god for something that doesn't assume it's audience is lobotomized. On a personal note, I have to credit the director & writer Darren Aronofsky for daring to go where seldom have gone before. He put his wife in a quite intimate scene with Hugh Jackman. Not sure how he didn't feel jealous. Or maybe I am just not that professional.

I also saw the entire first season of 30 rock and although I do like it and the show has gotten beyond it's initial jittery start, every time I watch it, I can't help feel a pang of pain thinking that they chose to continue this show instead of the great Studio 60. That still hurts. I also saw the entire Futurama. Yes, every single episode and I loved it! I highly recommend an episode called Jurassic Bark to everyone.

Okay so what else have I been up to? Other than watching films, serials, getting depressed , romancing a certain someone and shooting films? Nothing much else. Apparently my health has gotten worse. Met up with some old friends and this is what they had to say about me- "What is wrong with you! You look like you are dying!" Yes, those were their exact words. Sigh. For my next trick, ladies and gentlemen, I will vanish into thin air whilst eating loads of chicken and rice and chocolates. Don't you just love my not so subtle jokes? Hmm what else, what else, I seem to be forgetting to tell something.

Oh yes, now for my regular stale Hollywood news. Here goes- The geniuses are remaking Enter the dragon. That has disaster written all over it. It's blasphemy! What do you think? Also lined up for remakes are Total Recall among other films. Don't know about you, but even though I never was especially fond of that film, I think it is fine the way it is, and doesn't need a remake. Come on Hollywood! Stop raping old scripts! Are you that in that dire a need for good new ideas? You have my email address! or better yet, Call me!

In other news, the previews of Beowulf is looking quite impressive and I look forward to watching a Zemeckis film. I also saw the red band trailer of the sequel to alien vs predator ( for the love of god, was it any good to warrant a sequel?-not that you will hear me complaining-I am a whore for sci fi) and it is quite possibly the most violent thing I have seen in ages. People get stabbed, acid washed, cut, bombed, and whatnots. Oh and there are aliens and predators too. Other films to look forward to is the Project Cloverfield and Prince Caspian. That about sums up todays update folks.

P.S.- In case you indeed are a glutton for punishment and want to watch the documentary film, well, I pray you have insurance, and point you in the direction of this link for the torrent of the film.
Here are a few photos I took. And as always, comments, criticism is always welcome.

And now, for a blast from the past- enjoy!

The Ultimates

2007-07-16T16:33:00.000+05:30

After a long self imposed exile of sorts, here I am , having returned to continue riding on my self appointed high horse of criticism. Cue applause. Cut to smiling faces of audience members. No??

Okay, thats not really true you know. Its not like I criticize everything! What? Stop sniggering!

Anyway, long story short, I was busy with other things, namely my documentary film shoot and pre production for yet another short film. I make myself sound busier than James Cameron, dont I? To be honest, between reading comics, watching films, chatting with friends and my shoots, I really am not left with much time these days. In fact I hardly get to see 3 films in a week. Apalling , by my standards.

In the last one month the only comics I managed to read was part of the Batman Knightfall saga and The Ultimates. Batman Knightfall, if you are unaware is that infamous series where Batman was destroyed by Bane. Suffice to say, I have a soft spot for that series. You cant help but cheer when you see Bruce return.
Now for The Ultimates. It is the new millenium's re imagining of The Avengers. And let me tell you, it is shamelessly pro american- in a bad way. To the extent that the story sort of 'explains' Hiroshima and Nagasaki as the american effort to destroy an alien mind control program. That felt like grossly crossing a line. And somehow, all the geeks in this series are wife beaters, rapists. The scientists , the puny humans if I may say so, turn out to be the ones beating up wives, or attempting rape. Its always the muscle bound blonde poster boys that are honorable apparently. Oh and did I mention that its homophobic too? It had hulk being made fun of as a 'sissy boy' upon which he retaliates by screaming Hulk is Straight. I am wondering if I am the only person who reads so much into this. Am I? I honestly dont know. But one can see a clear packaging plan. This comics has been designed for the frat boys if I may say so. Or maybe its Marvel's attempt at keeping both sides happy - this is the same company that killed off Captain America a few months ago ( and if the rumour mills are correct, this time it is permanent-until the movie comes out!) stating that Captain America cannot live when we have an American President who is trying to justify a war that shouldnt have happened in the first place. The america our hero stood for is no more. Big words, for a death that probably wont matter 6 months down the line when Cap returns. Still , marvel's official statement says that the captain wont return until a change in the presidency and foreign policy. Thoughts?

I will try to upload a few photos from my shoot in a few days time. See you soon.

More movie reviews

2007-06-09T11:51:00.000+05:30

Here is a list of films I have seen recently, and my attempt at reviewing them with minimal wastage of words as possible.

Night at the Museum- Mostly unfunny comedy which would be even lesser fun had it not been for Robin Williams -still that isn't saying much. So I am his fan , sue me.

Revolver- Guy Ritchie's yet another attempt at stylizing violent gangsters and what nots, ends in a confused frenzy which is more obtuse than needed. Pseudo-intellectual alert.

The Sentinel- Old fashioned action thriller, and even though the film wasn't amazing, it was good to watch something old school.

Firewall- Yet another old school thriller, and in some ways better than the sentinel.

Open Season- Yet another talking animals cartoon with even less humour, and quite possibly the worst voice acting done in ages.

Asault on Precinct 13- It's remake season, and this remake changes its skin from horror to action thriller-less thrills, more explosions and bad sound design results in something you would forget within 15 mts.

Smokin' Aces- The plot is interesting, the setting is great, but it falls flat in the last 20 mts. Note to director-dont try to pull the carpet out from under the audience with preposterous twist, when you have a wafer thin plot.

Hostel- Chain saws, boobies, flame throwers, boobies, knives, boobies-torture p0rn for the retarded.

Crank- This is less of a film and more of a look what we can do brochure. And now they are making a sequel...sigh

Days of thunder- Not a bad concept, but the fx sucks, and Sir Ben Kingsley's hairdo is just too freaky!

High Fidelity- A nice film. The bitchy personal rant/monologue makes an okay plot into an interesting film. Dark humour abound.

Seraphim Falls- Great camerawork, great actors. And a good old fashioned western. IF you can handle the weirdness at the end...it starts off brutally realistic... and then veers straight into the near supernatural. Deus Ex Machina plot device if there ever was one.

Next- You will be left feeling unsatisfied and cheated after watching this one. Seems more like the lengthy pilot of a mediocre sci fi serial than a movie.

Epic Movie- Okay. Think bad. Think unfunny. Make it a trillion times worse.

Die Hard 2- Yippee kay yay! Who kicks ass? Bruce 'John Mclane' Willis. Great one liners. Great plot. Kickass action like that only happened in the late 80s and90s. Aaah .....the good old days... Die Hard 3, here I come. Looking forward to Die Hard 4 this summer!

You know you are getting old when...

2007-06-09T11:12:00.000+05:30

You know you are getting old when you start getting 'practical' gifts on your birthday -check

You know you are getting old when you dont want your friends to remind you your age -check

You know you are getting old when you start getting nostalgic of the 'good old days' -check

You know you are getting old when you start your birthday by thinking, Man! I have lived half my life already! -check

You know you are getting old when your friends starts the day with a you are an old fogey joke and you dont even have the energy to kick their ass. -check
You know you are getting old when you feel too lazy to eat out on your birthday. -check

You know you are getting old when you laugh at how silly you were when you celebrated your birthday when you were 15.( But it was still cool.) -check

You know you are getting old when...Aah who cares? I am old. Let me go read good old age home brochures.

300

2007-05-20T22:35:00.000+05:30

Much has been said, discussed and written on this film and having seen the film about an hour ago, I have to share my thoughts on this. Internet message boards have been the spot for heated battle between people claiming why this is the greatest or worst film ever. Before I go into a rant or praise about the abovementioned film, there are a few things I need to clarify on this subject. There has been near endless debate as to how this movie should be seen - as a historical film which has taken huge liberties, as a faithful graphic novel adaptation or just as a summer pop corn flick. Whichever of the three you chose from the above, it doesn't change a few facts. The film is a live action adaptation of the graphic novel by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley which itself was inspired from the famed battle of Thermopylae.

What made the graphic novel interesting, at least for me, was the undeniably cool artwork. The writing by Miller was okay, but then again, I dont expect anything earth shattering from his work. He always had a flair for violent subject matters and one dimensional characters, and this was perfect for him to flex his muscles. That being said, this has to be his best work that I have read, in the sense that the subject fit his over the top dialogue and dramatics well. The movie is fairly faithful to its source material that is the graphic novel. The visuals look as if they have been lifted straight out of the pages of the novel, all thanks to immense advancements in the blue screen technology. In order to flesh the film out more, they have added a parallel story of Queen Gorgo. The other liberties that has been taken has been on the visual level, like adding preposterous characters like the goat man in the persian harem, Xerxes' executioner, Rhinos, incendiary bombs etc. So , does it work visually? As a pop corn ride, yes it does. But again, it gets real boring real fast. Proof again, that no amount of innovation or eye candy or big budget can save you from audience's noticing the flaws. Just ask Uwe Boll. He knows that very well. The overuse of slo-mo and cutting from one angle to the other in between action becomes very irritating and I doubt will please many adults. Recommended only for extremely short attention spans.

Now for the story. It's pretty straightforward. King Leonidas takes 300 of his best warriors to fight against Xerxes' barbaric, uncultured, uncivilized & loathesome horde of millions while his queen fights at the senate to send the rest of the massive army to fight alongside him. Slow motion, posturing, homophobia, racism and more slow motion follow. Boy come to think of it this film would make a lot of old german Nazis wet their shorts with glee. I know, I know, I have read Warner Bros declaration too - this film isnt a historical retelling, it is a work of fiction. Too little too late, even if they can argue that this was an excellent way to narrate this incident, just like every finished work it cannot wash it's hands off the meaning it puts across. The fact that it is based on an actual historical incident, means that they cant deny its impact on the present day crowd. Out of 10 people who will watch this film, less than 2 probably would have cared to read up on the actual historical battle, and be content with taking the facts offered by the film. The faults lie with both the film and the graphic novel. While the Persians have been shown to be nothing short of sideshow freaks and terrible oppressors of freedom(sound familiar?) the Spartans are the embodiment of the present day 'manly' man. Curiously, Xerxes' is portrayed by a Brazilian and to be androgynous, and most of his army by black men. And the Persians had Rhinos and bombs! I was half expecting to see them launch fokker byplanes with machine guns too. I can argue at length why this is not acceptable to me, this gross rape of history for a summer action flick and 300 million profit, but the numbers decree that this film be considered a great blockbuster. But cash registers isn't the measure of a film by even the longest shot, and I am talking about those things, not doubting its commercial success. My friend argues that this is mindless action and thats all it has to offer, but I dont agree. There are many films which have been one hell of a macho adrenaline ride and sadly it didn't feel that way for me. An adrenaline ride takes over all other concerns and just lets you loosen up and enjoy the action but this pompous snoozefest didnt even have great action.

As my previous blogs have stated, I am no fan of Miller, his work tends to stay in the testosterone ride level, and frustratingly refuses to attach any depth to his characters. All great to look at, but nothing much underneath it. Dont get me wrong, I love mindless action. I own dvds of Independence Day and Godzilla for crying out loud! 300 sadly, isnt even a great action film. The action gets tedious. To be honest, Troy had better action , specially the one on one fights starring Brad Pitt and Eric Bana. Now that was action. But with this film it attaches a weird and warped sense of the world at that time to try maximize the glorification of its protagonists. When I saw Kingdom of Heaven,I had vowed to buy and watch the director's cut of that film to remind me what a historically correct(comparatively) yet solidly etched story can do. After watching 300 I feel the need even more urgently. Thanks to 300 I have been reminded just how good Kingdom of Heaven is. Thats the only positive experience I have gained out of this. If this post has sounded like long drawn rant against one film which doesnt deserve this attention then please understand, I am a filmmaker myself and everytime I go to see one, I hope for the best. And with everyone hailing 300 to be something earth shattering, it's fall from grace has been even greater. Had I known nothing about the film, I probably would have hated it less , not because it isnt deserving of it, it is, but primarily because I wouldn't have bothered to waste my time. But I have seen the effect this film has had on so many people. My acquaintances have been going on about how they 'know' the history of Thermopylae and internet boards have been going crazy decrying how Sparta was the cradle of modern democracy and Persia along with China, India and the rest of the backward world tried but failed to touch the land they so greatly craved. One internet discussion board even has someone claiming that Greeks are the oldest civilizations apparently. Zack Snyder, the director of this film is making the live action adaptation of Alan Moore's Watchmen as you read this, and it saddens my heart to imagine what he will do to that great work. My honest request , please read Watchmen before it comes out.

Before I leave, you, let me apologize for my cheapness, I feel it is my duty to counter all the bullshit flying around in the internet thanks to the 'positive effects' of this film with a few well known facts. Until next time, stay happy.
The Battle of Thermopylae was fought in 480 BC
The Battle lasted 4 days.
It wasn't fought by 300 Spartans. But as a joint attack with the Athenians. The Athenians were powerful at sea. The plan was to destroy the Persian fleets while at land, they held their ground.

The Spartans acted as leaders to another good 7000-11,000 soldiers(rough estimates). On the night of the third day, Leonidas, realizing that they had been betrayed, and there would be no escape, ordered them to leave. Roughly 2000 soldiers remained- out of them were 700 Thespians and the 300 odd Spartans. Everyone died there.
There were more Greeks allied to the Persian army than there were in the Greek army itself.
The strength of Xerxes' army is greatly disputed, Herodotus claimed it was more than 2.5 million. But modern logical estimates do not put it anywhere above 800,000.
Xerxes wasnt an adrogynous body piercings ridden giant. He was known to have a temper though. He famously whipped the sea for not obeying him.
The Persians were arguably more culturally advanced than Greece.
The oldest civilization is Mesopotamia.

The movies that could have been

2007-05-11T00:48:00.000+05:30

It has been more than two months since I had written anything in my blog. To be honest, with my film shoot and other stuff coming up, it had become nearly impossible. But inspite of my erratic writing habits, my friends apparently havn't given up on me. For the last week or so I have been asked why am I taking such a long break from blogging. Well, I am back, and this sounded like a great oppurtunity to write on this article I had in my mind. I will tell you about some big projects which at one time were the biggest things supposed to be coming out of Hollywood , but got stuck in production hell and never materialized.Here we go.

Spiderman- I know, there has been 3 spiderman films (incidentally I saw the third part today, and it sucked.) - so why is it listed among the films that never materialised? You see, originally the person who was writing the script for Spiderman and was planning to make it , way back in 1993 was who? None other than James 'Terminator 2' Cameron. Yes, the man behind what is arguably the best sci fi action film of all time had big plans for spidey. Originally Michael J fox of the Back to the Future fame was the favourite to star as Peter parker/spidey or a complete unknown, but when the studios read Cameron's script, they backtracked because they thought it was too grim. Oh well, in the end Camron's script was stripped and morphed into more PG friendly action, he didnt get credit even though he filed suit against it and we ended up missing out on what I personally feel would have been one hell of a ride.

Star Wars the sequels- Lucas, after driving fans crazy with the original Star Wars Trilogy, wanted to make three sequels charting the fight against the clone emperor, the Yuuzhan Vong and the rebuilding of the jedi order but unfortunately for us fanboys he became old, and a trillion times more greedy and ended up making pointless prequels.(Which reminds me, apparently Mr Lucas came out criticizing Spiderman 3 for being silly. Yes coming from him, such a focused and serious visionary of a filmmaker, who made cuddly bears into serious armies fighting against laser weapons, I am sure that doesn't sound like sour grapes.) Anyway, the fanboys waited and waited, and what they got instead was 3 prequels. Oh well, again our loss.

Kaleidoscope- When the lord and master of horror, Alfred Hitchcock's career was running to the ground, he envisioned this film. It was supposed to be narrated entirely by the serial killer himself alternating between his vulnerable and his homicidal side. The studios rejected this film, as they found it too dark and gruesome to be made during the 60s. If this had been made, it would have a been a milestone for american cinema. Or else if nothing, a unique treat to watch.

Napoleon- Stanley Kubrick at one point of time took on his most prized project, a biographical film on the little emperor. Poised to star in it as Napoleon was none other than Jack Nicholson himself. He worked for more than 2 years on this film, but inspite of his huge success with 2001 A Space Oddyssey, the studios could not imagine risking so much money on one film. But to tell you honestly, this doesnt feel like that big a loss. Why? Because of being refused by the studios to make Napoleon, he turned his eyes on other projects. He instead made A Clockwork Orange, then went on to make Barry Lyndon and the Shining. Also, Kubrick had a ready script to shoot A.I. but sadly, he passed away, and Spielberg made it instead.

Batman- orson Welles, yes the man himself behind what is voted to be the greatest film ever made, had ready plans for his batman film. It was supposed to be dark and very very broody. At one point of time, Humphrey Bogart was offered the role of two face. James Cagney was also supposed to star in it. Again budget and actor problems stalled the film, and we lost out on what could possibly have been one hell of a film. Low on effects but oh god, with Orson Welles at the director's chair, man that was something we all needed to watch.

Dune- It pains me to list this, as personally this is one book I NEVER want to see being adapted to the big screen. Simply because it is too big for any filmmaker, and I do mean any. But it will be unfair if I dont report this so here goes. At one point of time, Alejandro Jodorowsky was gearing up to make Dune, long before David Lynch got his grubby hands on it. H R Giger, the surreal artist who dreamt up the alien Xenomorph was hired to do the artwork, and get this, Salvador Dali had agreed to play the role of the emperor! That's not all, the director was in talks with none other than Pink Floyd for his music directors. Sure, it would have been one crappy film, but man, thats one crappy film we should have seen.

Exorcist prequel- As you may or may not know, the prequel for exorcist was called Dominion, and when it was all but finished, the brilliant studio execs looked at it and felt it was too damn dark for their intended lobotomized audience. So they fired the director, none other than Paul Schrader , the man who wrote Taxi Driver & Raging Bull for crying out loud and reshot the entire film and lo, you got the crapfest that was Exorcist: The beginning. When that tanked, they gave Dominion a limited release in a few film festivals where it was praised a lot. Lucky for you, its out on dvd, and if you are resourceful, you can see it.

Grand Mill's Hotel- Buster Keaton's dream project that never got made. The producers were out to teach who they thought to be an alcoholic overpaid star a lesson, and they were willing to even lose money to achieve that. It worked. Keaton never got the film started, which had Laurel and Hardy, Marie Dressler, and Jimmy Durante all set to star alongside him. I hate the bastards who did not let this film be made.

The Alien- No, this is not the alien that you saw made in the 70s. This my dear readers, is one black chapter in the history of hollywood. This was Satyajit Ray's english hollywood breakthrough project. The story? About an alien getting stuck on earth and befriending a man and finding his way back home, while avoiding the authorities. Sounds familiar doesnt it? Of course it does, cause Mr Spielberg owns a copy of the original script. He denies copying from it though. Oh well, but get this, Peter Sellers and Marlon Brando had signed on to star in Ray's film and waited for nearly a year and a half. At one point when Brando left, even James Coburn signed on. But it never happened. One day Ray found out that his script, word for word had been copyrighted overnight, leaving him uncredited.

King conan : crown of Iron- The Wachowsky brothers fresh from the success of the Matrix plotholes quickly fast forwarded to the shooting of King Conan. Starring Sean Connery as the King who Conan pays tribute to by giving his only son. Conan of course would be played by Arnold and his grown up son by the Rock(blech!). But the script was kickass and it held promise. If you look around online, you can even find the concept art to the poster of this film. A lot of fans were dying to see what would have been Arnold's goodbye to cinema role. But it never materialized. Arnold became a fag hating death sentence vetoing politician and others lost interest. Rumours are rife that it will be taken up soon, and we might just get to see this on the big screen , but the chances are pretty slim.

Well that about wraps it up I guess. There are many more projects which never took off, but these are the ones which comes to mind most strongly. Like recently, Lucas threw away the script written by Frank Darabont (of Shawshank redemption and Green mile fame) wrote for Indiana Jones 4 and opted for puppet writers instead. Darabont had put in a lot of time on the script and has been cheated out of any credits. Oh well, we stand to lose. Not that I ever cared much for Indiana Jones.
That about wraps it up folks,see you again -hopefully sometime soon.

Pan's Labyrinth

2007-03-07T03:06:00.000+05:30

I had gotten wind of Pan's Labyrinth ever since I had heard Guillermo Del Toro was postponing making a sequel to Hellboy for his dream project. Obviously, I was intrigued. For almost a year, I had been raring to watch this film. Expectations were undeniably heightened. I finally watched the film a few hours ago. I am writing this review of sorts now because I believe I have sufficiently digested what it had to offer to be able to write about it.

The premise is pretty straightforward. Ofelia and her pregnant mother moves to another place to be with her mother's new husband, a captain in the spanish army. With her reality becoming more oppressive with each passing day, she retreats into the world she loves so much-the world of fairies, fauns and kings.

As I had mentioned earlier, my expectations for this movie had been raised to monumental levels. Whenever that happens, I normally end up being disappointed in the film. I am sure you all , like me always expect something dazzlingly new every time we see another film. And more often than not,we expect brilliance in the obvious-the story.Lately my concentration has been fragmented and that took away from the viewing pleasure. I hope to get over that soon. And the added expectation had me initially thinking that it was too straightforward. The film runs two stories parallelly. The story about Ofelia being the lost princess of the underworld which is her fantasy (or is it?) and the story of her reality. Additionally there is also the story of the guerilla forces. I must admit, a part of me was feeling..more , more - there should be more. But then we sometimes forget to look at what is there, when we are too busy whetting our apetites. By now, you are probably thinking-why doesnt he get on with it? Did he like it? Hate it? The only reason I am writing this long winded review is also so that I can align my thoughts properly. Bear with me. Or else read the last few lines.

Once I saw the last scene, my eyes were a tad teary. Yes, I am a big cry baby when it comes to movies. As a friend of mine says, I cry at everything! Oh well- When we think fairytales we think bright colours, easily solvable problems, happy endings. We think stories for children which really entertain and teach without scaring them. But this film, is a rare breed. Let me be very clear on this. This is NOT for children at all. It is also not for the faint hearted. Some scenes are so gruesome it made me cringe and think was it really required. More on that soon. Ofelia's fantasy world is shown in dark, muted colors ( Me LOVEY!) yet it doesnt feel claustrophobic. Whereas her reality has a dominance of the blue, and feels immensely oppressive. Once I had seen the entire film, I realized that keeping with the tone of the film, the violence wasn't uncalled for- it wasn't used to tiltilate, rather to make the horrors of her reality starkly apparent. The acting was top notch and everyone fit into their roles like a glove. Personally I felt this was a bigger credit to the writing that anything else. Although I must mention that Sergi López' Capitán Vidal is one of the few onscreen villains I have hated so passionately.Ivana Baquero as Ofelia was awesome too. To be honest I didnt find any actor out of place. They were all great. Now of course for what Del Toro is famous for. The freaky creatures and the special effects. I must say, bravo. From the faun to the pale man, they looked so amazing that words fail me. This also due to the reason that Guillermo prefers to use organic effects than CGI and unlike many filmmakers doesnt let the CGI loose like a rabid dog upon an unsuspecting audience.

In the end, this film talks about the the horrors of war through the eyes of a girl in such a unique fashion, that it transcends genres. The american cut of the trailer had many thinking it was a complete fairytale, or a horror film- which caused many to be disappointed. But Del Toro has done something I dont think has been done before(and I dont find the LOTR films worthy of consideration). This is a fairytale with such a vital dose of grim reality that it can only be termed as a fairy tale for grown ups, for those who havn't forgotten their childhood memories and yet are also aware of the grim reality of our world. I may be wrong, but barring The City of Lost Children, I cant think of any other film which is in the same category, let alone in its same class. A true masterpiece. Incidentally till yesterday Children of Men was in my opinion the best film of 2006 (I have not seen Babel and Blood Diamond yet but soon). But Pan firmly takes it place at the top. For it's sheer uniqueness, its grim tones and its fantastic storytelling. We should thank Guillermo for such a fine piece of work.
P.S.- Looking forward to his take on Tarzan- the Lord of the Jungle in 2009. Yahoo! Only one year till Hellboy 2!!
Guillermo, sir if you are reading this? I am a film student, I have made a few short films and I would love to work under you. I can work really hard, I eat very less(lie) and am an insomniac! Think of me as third world labour! Can I? Call me! or email me! Please?
Some of you may be laughing but I am dead serious-you never know.

More Photos

2007-02-16T23:24:00.000+05:30

Here are some more photos I have taken-

As usual, criticism is welcome.

Children of Men

2007-02-10T14:01:00.000+05:30

Children of Men

Premise-In 2027, in a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea, where her child's birth may help scientists save the future of humankind.

Review- When I had first heard that Alfonso Cuarón was planning on making a science fiction film, I was stoked. As information started to leak in about the project, I wasn't too happy to find out that he had cast Clive Owen in the lead role.I have never been a fan of Mr Owen. Still, a Cuarón film wasnt something to be missed.
I know, yawn, another sc- fi film set in the near future. Here comes the uncalled for money shots and slow motion extravaganza. Hollywood flexing it's CGI muscle. Surprisingly, this film doesnt have any of those flaws. This film very cleverly refrains from spoon feeding the audience with huge dollops of "why it happened" flashbacks.Those expecting lots of CGI and sweeping action will be immensely disappointed. The director has consciously avoided putting anything remotely CGI-ish. From the very first scene, the film sets the mood and tone( a no nonsense, no fluff one). Unlike most science fiction films which tries to explain what has happened throughout, this film, under Alfonso Cuarón's deft direction just sets out to tell the core story. And that it does,with flair. Clive Owen finally redeems himself in my eyes. He plays the tired cynical man's role very believably. All the others actors do their jobs fine. It is a special treat to watch Michael Caine. On another note, the films portrayal of the governments racial stance and futuristic ghettoes is praiseworthy. Although, to be honest, it reminded me strongly of V for vendetta(the graphic novel, not the film).Maybe that was because the film was also set in a futuristic world in Britain.

If there are any minor grouse with the film? Then there can only be 2 worth mentioning. The number of handheld shots in the film felt a tad too much. And is it just me, or the birthing scene was a little too graphic than required? Oh well, these are ultimately extremely minor stuff. In the end this is definitely one of the best movies of 2006. Kudos to Mr Cuarón on a job well done. Put it on your must watch list, if its not there already. What you will get, is a film which sets itself apart from nearly 95% of most sci-fi films out there.

In other news, the oscar nominees list have come out and I must say, it had quite a few surprises. No nominations for Jack Nicholson for his menacing portrayal of Frank Costello? And Mark Wahlberg up for best supporting actor?? Seriously?? And sadly, nothing for Volver other than best actress? But on a happier note, I am so stoked that Pan's Labyrinth is one of the finalists for best foreign language film. Yay!

Its been more than a month

2007-02-01T18:19:00.000+05:30

Its been one whole month into the new year and I realized that my self imposed exile from blogging had been drawn too long. So what have I been upto? Not much, thats for sure( no one will ever accuse me of being highly productive!) -and you are thinking, "aah, there is that self hating humour of Tamal's I so hate/love". Jokes apart, I have been busy and certain things kept me from wanting to write in the near future. But the need to submit scripts and other stuff made me realize that writing was something I needed to do more often. So if everything goes as planned, i will be writing on a more regular basis. I was surpised, you know? A very close friend of mine actually called and asked me why I wasnt writing, cause according to him- life wasnt the same without him getting to read about my constant bickering about life, God and everything else! Oh well, I aim to please! Starting with this post, I will be uploading a few photos I have taken during this time. As usual, comments/critique/bouquets/brickbats are highly sought after by yours truly.

Back

2006-12-27T00:05:00.000+05:30

Name- Tamal
Age-24
Symptoms- Has not been updating his blog in ages.
Diagnosis- severely infected with laziness.
Solution- None. Subject is hopeless!

Well, thats from my medical report. If you dont believe me then I can show you my medical file. I am a medical mystery! Yes! I have finally cracked my way into the world records for the crappiest opening to a post...or not...I can outdo myself any day.So many things have been happening in my life and around me that I have no idea what to write about and what not to talk about. To be honest, it wasnt laziness that barred me from posting something new. It was rather the lack of time. And in the next few months things will get worse. Deadlines and shooting dates are coming up and I suspect that my blogging will have to take the backseat till then.
I wanted to write about quite a few things- I wanted to write about Peter Boyle and James Brown passing away and more importantly, I wanted to say goodbye to Joe Barbera, one-half of the prolific animation duo Hanna-Barbera . The creator of Tom & Jerry is dead...that was a sad day indeed. I wanted to post about our workshops but again my plans somehow got waylaid.
It is unlikely I will be posting anything more this year, so I will wish everyone a happy new year in advance. Take care, and stay in one piece.

Interpol Naga Baba

2006-11-27T21:52:00.000+05:30

As part of our documentary workshop, we were going on location recces to the northern parts of Calcutta to look at the old buildings and constructions of Calcutta. On the last day we went to the ghats of the Ganga near Shovabazaar. After settling down in the steps of one of the ghats, we noticed a woman who was very colorful and unique, to say the least. This post is about our encounter with her. So who is this woman? She calls herself the Interpol Naga Baba. If you are trying to figure out what it means, then dont. It is not going to make sense. This woman had come in to enjoy some chullu(homemade liquour) and some marijuana with her 70 year old friend. She claimed to be around 64 years old. We sat there and made small talk about life in general. She then went on to give us some advise about life.

What kind of advise? She told us what men should do so that they do not become rapists. Yes, you read that right. A few minutes later she suddenly grabbed my head and ordered me to stare into her eyes since apparently, I could see all the Gods in her eyes. With this, she started chanting a very common mantra. After a while, she butted her head against mine...then took out a turtle shell and hit me with it too. Then she gave us some biscuits to eat. A batchmate of mine made the mistake of calling her aunt(it is common for us Indians to call people aunt/uncle as a mark of respect) instead of Interpol Naga Baba and she got very riled up. She immediately called him out and showed him her, er assets. Needless to say, my friend was taken aback by that move. Once she calmed down she showed me some photos of her ex husband and went on to tell us that she can perform miracles. Her friend, the elderly man went on to sing some hit hindi songs. She even posed for photos when she noticed we had cameras with us. After sitting there for a while we moved on from the ghats. We meet people like her so rarely, but whenever we do , we tend to categorize them as complete madmen or some other category in our minds even before we exchange a single word and then we move on from that place. But we sometimes forget that it takes all kinds to fill up this planet and a new experience goes a long way in showing us just how vibrant and colorful life is, no matter how bizarre it might be.

In the name of justice

2006-11-25T23:11:00.000+05:30

I was going through the update page on IMDB, when I encountered this piece of news. Read on-
"Chinese Movie Pirate Sentenced to Life
In what may be the stiffest penalty yet for movie piracy, a man in China was sentenced to life imprisonment for reportedly operating the country's biggest bootleg DVD ring. The state-operated Xinhua news agency said that the man, Lin Yuehua, and 11 associates were convicted of producing 30 million bootleg DVDs and VCDs in an unnamed foreign country and smuggling them into China between 2002 and 2005. They were said to be worth $23.9 million. "

Another report- "BEIJING - China sentenced a man to life in jail on Thursday for running what state media called the country's biggest ever pirate film disc smuggling ring.
A court in southern Guangxi region convicted Lin Yuehua and 11 gang members of buying five production units to make DVDs and VCDs, setting them up in a foreign country and smuggling over 30 million bootleg discs into China from 2002 to 2005, the Xinhua news agency reported Lin's pirate smuggling business was the "largest one which has been so far uncovered in China," Xinhua said. The bootleg discs were worth about 188 million yuan ($23.9 million), the court said, according to Xinhua. Lin's accomplices received jail sentences of two to 15 years. The report did not name the foreign country where Lin based his bootlegging. The Guangxi region borders on Vietnam. The court verdict came at a time when the United States and European Union are pressuring China to crack down on pirate copiers of films, music, software and other kind of intellectual property. US copyright industry companies claim bootleggers cost them US$2.6 billion in sales in China last year. But on Chinese streets, pirate DVDs can cost as little as US$1, much cheaper than legitimate copies sold in wealthy countries.
Washington has left open the door to taking China to the World Trade Organisation, the Geneva-based world trade watchdog, to demand stricter criminal prosecution of counterfeiters.
Much of China's smuggled trade in counterfeits is out of the country rather than into it.
In 2005, United States customs made 8,000 seizures of pirated goods valued at US$93 million, and this year customs had made more than 14,000 seizures valued at over $156 million, and China was by far the largest source of the fakes, US Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez said in Beijing last week. Brussels said earlier in the month that faked goods cost the European Union about 500 billion euros (US$644 billion) a year, and two thirds of fakes seized coming into Europe were from China. "
I can understand the need for the authorities to show a strong stance, but a life sentence? Does this sound like justice? Interestingly, you will be hard pressed to find a newspaper which will protest this man's incarceration. A rapist or a murderer sometimes gets off in two years or less, and a bootlegger gets life imprisonment? Interestingly, a recent scientific and statistical study came out which disproved the claims of the Studios that they were losing out on so much money and proved their numbers to be highly exaggerated.

R.I.P.

2006-11-24T23:09:00.000+05:30

The last two days have been sad. Today specially so. Philippe Noiret, the legendary french actor passed away. He has been a national phenomenon, and has acted in many memorable films. His portrayal of Pablo Neruda in Il Postino was awesome to saw the least. Philippe Noiret is an actor specially close to my heart because his role of Alfredo in Cinema Paradiso will be etched in my mind till the day I die. Goodbye sir, you will be always there in our hearts.

P.S- Herge, the creator of Tintin felt that Philippe Noiret was his only personal choice for Captain Haddock if a live action film of Tintin had ever been made.

Robert Altman passed away two days ago too. The acclaimed director of films like Nashville, Gosford Park & the ingenious M.A.S.H died while his latest film Hands On A Hard Body was under development. He will be sorely missed.

Fillum fever

2006-11-21T00:30:00.000+05:30

As mentioned before, here are my reviews of the films I saw in this years film festival. In the order I viewed them.

The Last Days (Germany)- This was the diploma film of a German film student documenting the story of two American paratroopers who meet up with a German deserter. Pretty neat special effects for a diploma film. Otherwise, very standard Band of Brothers style execution. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Metamorphosis(Russia)-This adaptation of Kafka's story was quite impressive, primarily due to the very tangible peformance of the lead actor. The clear lack of dialogue makes the acting more important, cause its primarily through action that you get to feel the emotions of the protagonists. The dream sequences dragged a little, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless.

The Absolute Moments(Greece)-This short film was very weird. It tells of a time in the near future presumably when people, in order to experience some strange revelation about their life( a sort of nirvana if you may) actually pay for tickets to take their time to jump off cliffs. And others pay to watch them die. Very weird film...an interesting attempt. At first I thought this was going to be the directors statement against the voyeurism that is plaguing films these days, or it will be a pro life film...but it turned out like neither. I had a distinct feeling that the director lost track towards the end. Still, a commendable effort.

The Road to Guantanamo(UK)- This docu drama er, documents the incidents involving the infamous Tipton three. First and foremost, I had not been very impressed with Winterbottom's works, specially when he made 9 songs. Couldnt even sit through 15 minutes of that film- me! And I have even seen entire Steven Seagal films in one sitting! Nevertheless the subject matter of this project made this film one of my prime targets in this years film festival. I had to watch it. This film is intercut between the actual interviews of the real Tipton Three, and actors dramatising the incidents. The very first thing that struck me was the abrupt start of the film. The no nonsense start of the film was a clear indication of the mood. The music was claustrophobic and had no intention of letting the audience out of its grip. What followed in the next 95 minutes was quite visceral. A very commendable film. A must watch if I may say so. If I felt there was anything lacking in the film, it would be the fact that I wanted to see more. Not more of this particular trio, but I wanted to see the other side...the wider political issues. But then I realized that to to do justice to those aspects would require at least an hour and a half more of screentime and that would probably have muddled the film. Very good effort Mr Winterbottom and Mr Whitecross.
P.S- Here is some inane trivia-Two of the actors (Riz Ahmed and Farhad Harun) and two of the ex-detainees were detained temporary and interrogated at the airport by the British police when they returned from the Berlinale-festival where the movie got the Silver Bear. According to BBC-news Ahmed said he was asked if he intended to make any more political films.

Through a Glass Darkly(Sweden)- Bergman's film about a family, the daughter has just recovered from some mental illness, and the father who is a writer is tempted to use his daughter's suffering as writing material. Obviously, Bergman's films can hardly be described that easily. And this film of course , in classic Bergman tradition has a lot more hiding up its sleeve. This film was part of the trilogy of films he made about religion. This film was a very intense experience, but I have to be frank- I have to see this film one more time along with the other two religious films which completes his trilogy to make complete sense of what he intended to talk about. Nevertheless, watching this was awesome. Definitely something everyone should see even if Bergman is their least favourite filmmaker. Oh and to state the obvious, Sven Nykvist's cinematography is brilliant to say the least.
Another useless trivia-This film was nominated for best screenplay and won the oscar for best Foreign language film in 1961

Sophie Scholl :Die letzten Tage(The Final Days)(Germany)- There has been a noticeable surge in German Films constantly trying to look back into their darkest days. This particular film documents the last days in the life of Sophie Scholl, who was arguably the most famous member of the White Rose - an anti Nazi resistance group. Just imagine how much courage it took to stand up and publish writings against the Nazis when they were in power during the Second World War. She was only 21. This film documents how she was caught, faced trial along with her brother and another member of her group and was sentenced to death by guillotine. The films only problem was a bad sound design and over indulgent suspense film music. But thinking back, perhaps I can understand why it was done. Hardly anyone knows about Sophie Scholl's life. Let me be the first to admit, inspite of being somewhat of a self proclaimed Second World War history nut, I came to know of her only when I got to know such a film was being made. So for the average joe, they might go in not knowing the end. Maybe that was the justification behind the music. Inspite of this aspect, the film is well made. Intensely dialogue driven, some of the dialogue seemed too brave for reality. Being a lifelong sceptic, I immediately branded them as the writer's indulgence. But when I did a little research, the real shocker came. The dialogues are all real. How? All the interrogation sessions, and the court proceedings were recorded by a stenographer. Recently in East Germany, a huge cache of documents from this time were discovered. Which made this film possible. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction. Definitely one of the better films I saw this year in the film festival. If it isnt already on your must watch list, add it on.

Well, thats all for todays post. There are more films left to review as I have only gone through two days worth. I will dedicate two more posts on reviewing the films I saw. See you soon.

Wrap up

2006-11-17T23:51:00.000+05:30

Well, today was the last day of the 12th Annual Calcutta Film Festival. This year I had made a conscious decision to watch a small number of films. Last year was my first ever attendance of a film festival and I watched as much as I could...in the end it turned out to be too much sensory input...not that I didnt enjoy every single moment of it-I did. I could not wait to watch more even as my eyes screamed for much needed rest. But this year was different. I needed to watch less films so that I could make sense of the filmmaking. As one of our lecturers aptly put it, we cannot hope to have the audience's pleasure principle while watching films anymore. Or can we? I watched a total of 17 films- 2 shorts, 1 animated short and 14 full length feature films. But thats for later. So how was this year's festival? Considering the sheer number of films they had managed to bring this year alone, it was awesome. But the main problem was that this year it lacked focus. This year, there were films ranging from the early films of Griffith and Lang to the very latest Lars Von Triers. The time span was too great and the collection became garbled. Another insult was the festivals refusal to pay tribute to Sven Nykvist. The great cinematographer passed away a little less than a month ago, and when the festival director was requested to consider changing the programme to pay tribute to him(the films shot by Nykvist were already being brought in, all they needed to do was create a category in the announcement in their publication), he obviously did not agree. We were a little riled up about that, but considering what a fool he made of himself on stage during the film festival, I guess he got his just rewards. My experience of this years film festival is definitely a few notches below last years' experience. Last year we had the fortune of watching Dekalog on print! Of course, there were many other films that were wonderful , like getting to watch Downfall in the biggest screen in Calcutta, watching Talk to Her and All about my Mother in the big screen. Oh well, one cant live in the past.

This is the list of films that I saw this year. The films that I really like, I will write reviews of them later...the rest I will waste few words on.

Sunday
The Last Days (Germany)
Metamorphosis(Russia)
The Absolute Moments(Greece)
The Road to Guantanamo(UK)

Monday
Through a Glass Darkly(Sweden)
Sophie Scholl :The Final Days(Germany)

Tuesday
The Buried Forest(Japan)
The Beat of the Street(Spain)
The White Masai(Germany)

Wednesday
Rules of the Game(France)
The Italian(Russia)

Thursday
Damnation(Hungary)
Mother of Mine(Finland)
All People is Plastic(Austria)
Adam's Apples(Denmark)

Friday
My Right to Ravage Myself(South Korea)
Manderlay(Denmark)

I had plans to watch more, but some films I unfortunately missed and others well, just couldnt see them due to unavoidable circumstances. I will write about all these films in my next post which I intend to put up in a few days. Now I need to watch some serious brainless masala films. Aah, maybe I will watch some Vin Diesel...or perchance Hrithik ? Heh, God forbid, if that day comes when i actually seek out Hrithik & Vin's films, I have made arrangements that my friends will shoot me and put me out of my misery. See you soon.

More whining

2006-11-11T23:12:00.000+05:30

Yes, its me..I am back to whine about my life again. When you have endless material like I do, whining will not be a problem even for you. Our Mise-en-Scene workshop wrapped up and I managed to injure myself....For a brief while I was sure it was a fracture. It turned out that it was only a ligament injury (like I mentioned, I cry foul at the slightest). And now, the Calcutta Film Festival has kicked off, so looking forward to watching quite a few films...if time permits, I plan to post reviews of those films here on a daily basis. But other work and commitments call for my attention, so I am not sure how things will turn out.

Before I take my leave, I will leave you with the poster of the upcoming Hannibal Rising. Yep, its a film about the early life of our most beloved cannibal. The poster looks impressive. But sequels and prequels rarely turn out to be good. What do you think?

Whatever happened to Phantom?

2006-11-06T00:33:00.000+05:30

I had been busy with work and other stuff(mainly laziness) which delayed this post somewhat. Today morning, I was rejoicing the fact that I had obtained a lot of Hellblazer comics when I was reminded of a childhood hero of mine. The Phantom. You remember him dont you? The Ghost who walks? If you had a childhood anything like mine, you will have fond memories of him. The worlds first costumed superhero was a daily staple for the Indian comics scene and still can be seen in some newspapers. If you ask me what it was about the Phantom that was so cool, I wont have any great revelations for you. Its just one of those days when nostalgia hits you hard and it brings you down on your knees. I remember losing a bunch of superman batman and phantom comics in the train... and crying a whole lot because of it.

Surprisingly, the internet shows that The Phantom is still in publication...even in India. But where do I find him? He is certainly not available online, or I would know. He is most certainly not available in the bookstores. I miss those big A4 size double splash pages, where Phantom leaves his mark on some bad guy's jaw and that was his calling card. It's odd isnt it? You would think that comics classics like the Phantom would be easier to get. Where is Hero, Devil, Diana and the Phantom's cave? Damn, its easier to get stupid Frank Miller but we dont get one new issue of Phantom? I dont know about you, but I certainly miss those days...maybe its time I went hunting in the second hand bookstores...you never know what you might get there.

Kill me, kill me now...

2006-10-22T00:25:00.000+05:30

Today is a dark day. I have been forced to read something that has me writhing in indescribable pain. I want to rip my eyes out and throw them as far as I can from my body. Argh! The visuals are still tormenting me. These are dark days indeed. This is a new low for art, mankind and all things you can possibly name. My humanity prevents me from quoting what I read so I will give you an option instead. Down below, is the link to the actual facts that I read. Click on it, if you dare. Ever heard of artist Daniel Edwards? Of course, I am using the term artist very loosely. If you have, then lucky you-you know what I am talking about and probably have the sense to stay away from the link. If you dont, well join the club and become one more among thousands to be tortured by that mind numbing idiot's work.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Edwards

Read it? Saw his work? Now go pour some acid on your poor eyes...that should ease the pain.
At times like these, I seriously wonder, what's next? What new trick can talentless hacks have up their sleeve for their 15 minutes of fame? Then again, the fact that this kind of art is being made isnt the most important point. People are actually paying to see this? People are buying this too?? Kill me, kill me now.

Nice!

2006-10-15T11:53:00.000+05:30

I found this photo out recently in the net and just had to share this with you guys. It's just too beautiful.

Forgot to mention, this is the artwork of the great Alex Ross...isnt this cool?

Of Blue-Screen and other demons

2006-10-13T11:50:00.000+05:30

Gather around boys and girls, and let uncle solitudinarian tell you the story of a few funny things from Hollywood. (Insert groovy music and gravelly voice here, just like you have seen and heard in oh so many trailers) There is a legend in Hollywood. It speaks of a time where ideas were scant. But the brave producers and directors didn't back away from making the same films over and over again. Hollywood you see, makes films in twos. Didn't understand? Let me enlighten you then-
Armageddon & Deep Impact
Antz & It's a bug's life
Catch my drift? I could give more examples of course, but that is not what I am here to talk about. I am here to mention two films that I saw. The cave (which according to my ingenious review was totally "blech") and The descent. Now, once I had seen the cave, I had lost all desire to watch The descent, because it had the same theme. Hell, it had the same story. Even the fact that it was a Neil Marshall film was not enough to make me want to watch it. Well, idle brain...you know the deal. So, I watched The descent. How is it? Is it better than the cave? Oh hell yes! Is it scary? At some points, definitely. But is it good as a stand alone film? I mean, any film can look good when compared to a crass idiotic film. Meh, nice for a watch but not that great. The descent had many admirable things going for it. But a few things in the film require an extreme suspension of disbelief. Lines like- "They have evolved into the perfect underground creatures" (or something like that) definitely do NOT help that process. Moreover, the creatures themselves looked like a sad mix between the orcs makeup in the LOTR films and those numerous zombie films you can find. I always thought that when we enter into impausibility in a film, its best to try not to explain with pseudo science. The audience isnt that stupid. It hurts the film rather than add to it. This film veers clear of the cgi money shots that Hollywood is famous for, which I appreciate a lot. But in trying to do so, it falls prey to the other monster plaguing Hollywood- the quick cut syndrome. The action or the struggle starts and before you know it you have seen half second shots from different angles and after a quick visual barrage, its over. Call me old school, but I still get my jollies when films had a relentless approach. The monsters seemed invincible by its very presence. Hey, is it just me or did the last line about me getting my jollies sound too dirty?

I read somewhere that the cave is as good, if not better than Alien. Yes, that Alien. It is a regular phenomenon these days that with every new film, rallyists gather together to elevate it to greatness and depose reigning films of that genre. Think about it. Its been more than 30 years since The Exorcist.Trust me, even to this date, you will be hard pressed to find a film with better sound design. Its been more than 30 years for Alien too. I am not saying these films are the end all of everything. With time, technology improves. With time, I hope that as an audience and as an aspiring filmmaker, we can provide work which continues to gain new ground not only in terms of storytelling but also technical aspects. But very few films actually come close. And although Neil Marshall's latest effort is quite impressive in many aspects , it is far from being great. Watch it for what it is, a visceral summer horror film which uses claustrophobia deftly to its advantage. For Blood and gore lovers, there is plenty of eye gouging, bone crunching, flesh rending action and you will get numerous scenes of chicks beating the crap out of those "perfectly evolved creatures". Just dont expect earth shattering greatness.

Before I take my leave, I have to mention one other thing. How many of you have seen the trailer of "300"? Yes, the adaptation of Frank Miller and Lynn Varley's graphic novel. Oh my god! Please go and see it! I propose 3 new categories in the Oscars- Most overacting by the ensemble cast. Massive rape of history and of course, using the highest amount of slow motion in one film. The trailer is ENTIRELY slow motion. Dont believe me? Check it out. By the way, I think, our next generation will not look at real sunrises anymore...they will say nah Mom! The sunrise in the film looks better on tv. The sun is bigger on screen. The sky has an aurora borealis effect permanently, and of course the birds fly in slow motion during the sunsets. Come to think of it, Strippers dance in slow motion during their performance, lovemaking is in slow motion and of course, you beat up guys in slow motion. Who need what's real? Hmm...Is it Frank Miller's way of telling us that modern life is too fast? He IS subtle! Ah, sorry guys, I am just pissed that instead of getting to watch George Clooney's version of Gates of Fire, I am getting an inaccurate comic book by a mysogynist homophobe. Frat boys! Get ready to love this film! I dont know about you, but I am tired of watching fx sunrises, sunsets and slow motion. Ugh. Oh well, life goes on. Stay healthy, and stay safe.

Epitaph

2006-10-05T01:17:00.000+05:30

The National Gossiper
26th October 2067

Infamous blogger, noted pseudo intellectual and failed filmmaker Tamal Kumar Sen's dead body was recovered from his apartment yesterday. He was 85. His food delivery service reported suspicious inactivity in his home when he had not recieved his meals in almost a week. The Police officers broke into his home to find him lying dead in his Lazyboy Xtreme couch in front of his 42 inch plasma tv. Autopsy reported that he had choked on two chunks of the now illegal Ferrero Rocher chocolate. His drab living conditions might have contributed to his ill health.

File report- Mr Sen had been an active blogger and an avid film fanatic for years. He also had been a self proclaimed fan of mangas and comics. He attained intellectual stagnation before the age of 23 and got stuck in a never ending loop of procrastination. During his younger years he constantly failed to achieve goals set by himself and celebrated when he achieved mediocrity. His filmmaking career came to an end when his debut feature film premiere was cut short. Viewers banded together and beat him up, kicking him out of the theatre. All prints of that film has since been burned. On being asked what he thought about the reaction of his audience, he had this to say- my next film will make them change their mind. Many people's wishes came true, when his attempts at making another film never materialised. Later the film gained notoriety as an unofficial but widely accepted bible of mistakes that can be made while making a film. Interestingly, his screen name was the solitudinarian. The loner. He accurately reflected this in his own life. In his own words, he once described himself as the real life Major Major from Catch 22( Some people are born into mediocrity. Other people work to achieve it. I , like Major Major am both). He will not be remembered.
This has been a paid news report.

Dont worry folks. Just my regular morbid humour at work.

Photos part trois

2006-09-29T01:50:00.000+05:30

What can I say? Thats all the french I know! So bear with me. This here is the last set of photos for the time being.

Dragon in the sky.

Goodbye

2006-09-26T01:02:00.000+05:30

Its been one whole year. One whole year since me and some of my friends started that journey with Saya, Haji and the gang. One whole year, waiting everyday for the next episode to come out. And hoping against hope that things will be alright in the end. I was living in denial, telling myself that the end of this beloved series was far off. Even when I saw that the final episode had been posted, it didn't sink in. No more Blood+. No more Saya, Haji.

My friend Rohan asked me what this show meant for me. I could not give a satisfactory answer. I pushed that question aside, saying that I can only figure it out when the show ends. Now, sitting in my chair after having seen the final episode of Blood+, I still dont have an answer.What did this show mean really? I know enough to admit that towards the end, the storytelling became hurried up( although I am willing to acknowledge this grouse is partly because of my wish to see Blood+ being extended into a longer series-but in a way I am glad this show didnt turn into the monster-of-the-week never ending show), and in 2 particular episodes, the animation budget being cut off resulted in some badly animated scenes. The songs were far from perfect. What then made us wait breathlessly for each episode? Was it the incredible story? The great characters? What I could realize though was that this story was better than anything I had seen in any animated show in a long long time. All I know is that when I was down, I looked forward to Blood+. And every time I watched one episode, I was alright(maybe thats just addiction). It was an incredible experience. And saying goodbye to this show is hard. In fact it is harder than I had imagined it would be. The days ahead look a little bleaker.

Special thanks to the subbers who made viewing this possible. And thanks again to Production I.G. for making another great show. So this is it. This is adieu to Saya and the gang. And a sad goodbye to Haji, undoubtedly one of the best characters in an animated serial, if not the best.

Photos, part deux

2006-09-20T19:28:00.000+05:30

Here is the second batch.

Sunset. My house. ( I know, I am lazy)

This was taken around 7 in the evening. Cool huh?

Hang me but I dug this photo taken from inside the taxi. Heavy monsoon season in Calcutta.

Yawn. Another interesting sunset. I need to find more locations.

The people who know Rony will understand, this photo came out better than my wildest expectations. He looks like a bodybuilder here! What do you think?

Photos

2006-09-20T19:10:00.000+05:30

As I had mentioned when I bought my camera, I had grand plans of taking lots of photos. But unfortunately, my laziness and workload prevented it from becoming a reality. Still, there are some photos which I would want to post. Here is the first batch.

Sadhu in Vivekanda Park.

My campus.

Sunset from my house.

My campus again.

My grandpa's house.

My campus. Again.

This one was taken at 10 in the night.

Musings

2006-09-14T14:29:00.000+05:30

I needed a release. Thats why I am writing this. Sometimes, I guess we all go crazy. Our logic and sense of right and wrong, our well adjusted sense of reality takes a leave and we fly briefly on the malformed wings of our instincts. In those brief moments nothing but the rush of following your instincts and if i may use the cliche, heart's desire maters. Joyous, dangerous moments. But damn do they make you feel alive or what? (I am not talking about sex, people). My friends will know cause I have told them a thousand times- I fear desensitization a lot. And thankfully, in this unfair and cruel world there are still a few things that can elicit emotion in me. I encountered new ground people! Something to be grateful for, no matter how brief they are.
P.S.- Dont ask why I wrote this.

One year later...

2006-09-02T23:54:00.000+05:30

One year. 40 posts. Lots of substandard writing, one horrid attempt at poetry and incessant self flagellation later, my blog is still here. On the 31st of August, 2006 my blog became a year old. And today, with my 41st post I step into my 2nd year of blogging. My quest to become the supreme exalted king of all pseudo-intellectuals rages on. Here's to wishing you more unhappy reading, ladies and gents.

The good wife's guide

2006-08-27T12:56:00.000+05:30

I found this photo quite by accident. This is supposed to be a scan of an actual magazine called Housekeeping monthly. If you find it difficult to read,then the suggestions to be a good wife are written below.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal(specially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks,toys etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children.Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces(if they are small),comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes.they are little treasures(terrors??) and he would like to see them playing the part.Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his.Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or opther places of enetertainment without you.Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to stay at home and relax.

Your goal:try to make sure your home is a place of peace,order and tranquility where your husband an renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through athat day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

I dont know about you,but my favourite one is rule number 3. "Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it."- Sure, my day would certainly brighten up if I came home and found that my wife has prepared a feast for the eyes getting jiggy with her best girlfriend. Yatzi!

Jokes apart, I must tell you that there is a lot of debate in the internet about this scan's authenticity. The list is often attributed to Helen B. Andelin's book Fascinating Womanhood, first published in 1963 to provide instruction in "The Art of Winning a Man's Complete Love," but no such list appears in that work. But, the words in the book may not be the same, but the indicate the same thing. But many sources say that this list is an actual list that was taught in home economics classes in that time period.I know, it is fashionable these days to show how far we have come since those days when we were neanderthals. My article today is not to do that. Real or not, I find this list to be funny as hell.I just hope you,my readers find the humour in this as much as I do.

There...and back again.

2006-08-15T23:59:00.000+05:30

Hello folks. It has been a long time since I had access to my blog. As you all know, access to blogs were blocked for some time due to the governments attempts to block a few blogs being used by terrorists. Incidentally, no news later indicated the outcome of that. Only yesterday did I find that I had been given back access to my blog. A lot has happened in these days. A child fell into an abandoned well and the media proved once again that it could make a mass hysteria out of anything. The whole country went crazy about it. The stars went out of their way to buy themselves some screen time. And the media lapped it up. I even had a taxi driver tell me what a saint Salman Khan is for giving a gold chain to Prince. The key to good news,it seems, is to have a good nose for what sells. And once you find it, sell it like there's no tomorrow. Oh well.

Mr Mel 'Braveheart' Gibson exposed his other side to the media and promptly retraced his steps with a groveling statement which, incidentally, he read out of a paper. You go Mel! Show those Jews what a good session of evangelism can do to one's head! On the other hand, stars in Hollywood are realizing that they can mooch free publicity if they suddenly 'became' African. Why should Angelina Jolie have all the fun? Therefore, I present to you the latest star to go African! Ooh! Just look at all the beads she is wearing! This certainly proves she is from there after all.

And last but not the least, I present to you our new James Bond. In all his tuxedo clad glory.

What do you think?

As for little old me,I have been running here and there going crazy with bouts of endless edit sessions followed by seemingly endless bouts of depression. Oh well, life goes on. Until next time, stay safe and stay alive.

Superman Returns : A review

2006-07-08T23:55:00.000+05:30

In today' article I will try to follow the textbook definition of a film review. Call it practice...I have to sharpen my claws for the future!
Plot -You obviously know the background to Superman's story or you have no place being here...Superman has been absent for 5 years and the world has moved on. Even Lois Lane, she is married and also a mom now. Luthor has been freed from prison due to lack of evidence/testimony against him. A rocket ship crashes into the Kent farm again and out steps Superman. He had gone to explore the remains of his dead planet. In the mean while Luthor finds important Kryptonian technology which leads to his 'brilliant' plan...expenditure of 300 Million Dollars ensues...
Critique - Before I begin with that let me reveal to you a few things. First and foremost, although the official budget fo the film has been declared as 260 Million,in reality it is well above 300 million. They spent close to 50-60 Million on publicity and product placement.So officially, barring Spiderman 3(which has a budget of 270 Million exclusive of publicity,and it is being made still so it doesnt count yet) Superman Returns is the costliest film in the history of cinema. A comparative idea will tell you,in this budget James Cameron could have made Terminator 2: Judgment Day 3 times over. Thats right,the total expenses for T2 was around 110 Million. Now ,before I digress further let me retrace my steps. For me,Superman has always been a second rate superhero. Dont lynch me yet, let me explain. Superman comics for me, was always over the top. Whereas my all time favourite Batman, tried to be more based in reality. Whenever I encountered a versus situation in my mind, I allways rooted for Batman(and I suspect I will till the day I die). Its not because of him being an alien. Its just that Superman always seemed unreal. Nothing seemed to affect him, nothing seemed to cut him deep. But later when I got my hands on more Superman comics I realized, not all was well in his world. Even he suffered. Superman did not seem so stupid to me anymore. The more I read, the more I liked him. Admittedly, he wasnt as great as Batman still, and he never will be but he is still pretty damned good. The most irritating factor of Superman was the punchline that was used for him-Truth,Justice & The American Way. Thankfully, in the film they avoid the last line. Anyway, lets get the review out of the way first. I had seen the first Superman film with very little expectations. But along came the great Christopher Reeve. He didnt look stupid inspite of the dated special effects. In fact he looked like THE Superman. Wide jawed, eyes the color of unearthly blue and still having enough acting chops and charisma to pull off a role of this proportion. When I saw what they had done with the new Batman film, I was more or less sure that the Superman film would be the same. There you see,I am deviating again. Sorry, I will be to the point this time.But with Bryan Singer helming this I still hoped for something good.Sadly,it was not to be so.
The film starts with a true homage to the original film. The credits are in the exact same style as in the original film. This I liked a lot. Let me first outline whats good about the film. Around 10-15 minutes of CGI action. Thats about it. This movie has it all, expensive costumes, the whos who of technical experts, bottomless budget...you name it, its got it. The only thing it lacks is heart. The movie fails in almost every way imaginable. I am not counting the special effects because a film of this scale always boasts the best in the business. The romance,the chemistry between Routh and Bosworth is almost non-existent. I will deal with Routh in the end because to be frank he is the cherry topping in this abortion of a work. Kevin Spacey delivers a performance which doesnt demand much from his considerable talent. He is a good Lex Luthor, but again hardly explored. I dont remember any comics where Luthor seemed idiotic...he seldom boasts of his genious but his plans proved to be extremely effective. This is the quirkiness of the film version of Luthor. From the very beginning,Luthor has seemed as a two bit villain suffering from delusions of grandeur. But admittedly thats a problem with all Superman films.This is something that has always bugged me.
In one particular comic that I own, Batman and Superman are fighting together against a host of super villains who have been sent by Luthor. Batman is thinking to himself and he comments that inspite of having dealt with people like the Joker, it still makes his skin crawl to be in the same room with Luthor. This is just to show you how deadly Luthor actually is. The dialogues in this film attempt everything from humour to seriousness and fails miserably. The jokes arn't funny. The emotional dialogue is too lacklustre. Luthors oh so briliant plan is so lame that words cant describe it. It seems like an alternate version of the first film's plan. The supposed 'twist' about Lois' son is quite predictable, I for one figured it out when he first appeared. I will admit one thing though...the suit as I had later guessed was color enhanced and later turned into red for the film. So on screen it looks ok. Another irritating factor was the quick cuts that plagues this film, along with the constant moving shots to showcase big budget sets. Now for Brandon Routh. Oh god, he cant act. As the film progressed I was thinking that he looked decent as Clark Kent, but he looked horrible as Superman. Why was that? Kent is supposed to be meek and sheepish and with the lack of dialogues for Kent it wasnt very difficult for him to pull it off. As Superman, he has even less dialogue but to pull that off one needs a certain amount of screen presence. Needless to say, Routh doesnt have that an iota. In a long shot he looks faintly like Christopher Reeve, but up close we see that his face is vastly different from that of Superman. So basically you have an actor who is stiff, can't act, can't emote, who looks like a twinky/gigolo playing arguably the most famous comic book hero of all time who doesnt even look like him. Great. Just brilliant. Imagine this, these people had 19 years to develop Superman Returns. And they came up with this script? Was this really the best they could manage? Its hard to believe that this is the culmination of 19 years of development hell. One could say that its near impossible to bring a comic book successfully on screen, but I could argue that the original Superman, Batman , X-men, Hulk and Hellboy(and I still say that its one of the most faithful comics to film transition ever) did that quite successfully. And to think, the Batman film had actors who looked nothing like their comics counterpart. But they still made it work.
You are probably thinking that I am being too harsh on a summer film. But let me describe 2 scenes. First, Superman travels back to earth on a crystal ship and whats more, crash lands on the Kent farm. Whatever happened to sattelite imagery? Is Superman not worried that the sattelites would take photos and find out his identity? Why does he even need a space ship when he enters the Solar system? The second one is where he recharges himself full of solar power and heads down to pick up the Kryptonite continent. I am sorry but why didnt he take precautions? Superman isnt a genius, but considering the times he has faced radiation poisoning, dont you think he would have put on some lead suit or a hazmat suit of sorts? One would say there wasnt enough time, but apparently the cataclysm clock stopped ticking while he was down...oh well...
So let me summarize this film for you. If you havn't grown up on healthy doses of Superman comics and/or films, if a good plot isnt your thing and you have always wanted to see a crossbreed between a twinky and a gigolo try to look like Superman, if you go ga ga over Brandon Routh then Superman Returns could not possibly get better. I for one, dont fall in this category. Christopher Reeve,we miss you, now more than ever. You are still the only man who could make us believe that a man could fly.

Film reviews by a lazy man

2006-07-04T23:55:00.000+05:30

Here is a concise review of a few films that I have seen recently...I am too lazy to waste more words on these films..anyway most of them dont warrant more investment...
Lord of War- Dark humour abound...good...
Matchstick Men- Nicholas Cage shines again...surprised by the ending...
The Emperor's New Groove- So so...
Weather Man- A very interesting film , talks on the same theme as American Beauty although definitely not as good.
Tom Yung Goong- Tony Jaa will go places , cant say the same for the director!
X-Men The Last Stand- Yuck
Fanaa- Blechh!
Shaun of the Dead- Confused director couldnt decide if it was a comedy or dead(excuse the pun) serious...watch and forget...or better yet watch the trailer and rest assured you have seen the good bits.
V for Vendetta- Hugo Weaving's amazing voice...other than that , quite pathetic compared to the novel.Its sad watching Alan Moore get cheated again.
In Good Company-Tries to steer clear from Hollywood stereotype, so kudos for that.This film has the most memorable songs I have heard in a film in a long long time.
Flightplan- Predictable last 25 minutes.
Red Eye- Like every other Wes Craven film...lame...
The Skeleton Key- Took me by surprise...i likey!
Domino- Keira Knightley cant act, even if it was to save her life!
Keeping Mum- Funny,doesnt aspire for much and delivers what it promises...i enjoyed it...
Dark Water- So so...Cant help but feel the Japanese original is probably better.
Serendipity- Okay.
Pom Poko- I loved it.
The Cave- Bleh
Brothers Grimm- Yuck(its hard watching Monica Bellucci perform career suicide) & more importantly,who can believe its a film made by Terry Gilliam?
Two for the Money- Even the great Al Pacino cant save this movie from mediocrity.
King Kong- (yes,I was bored enough to watch it)Hollywood Bible on how to make incoherent,boring, mindless crap with an endless budget.
Ultraviolet-Argh!Makes you want to tear your eyeballs out.The dialogues are probably crappier than in XXX.
Aeon Flux- Eeesh!
Exorcist:The Beginning- Could it BE worse?(Yes it could but this is pretty bad too)
Mulan- Old School Disney! Entertaining...
Layer Cake-Lean mean piece of film , two thumbs up!
Beavis & Butthead do America-It was probably very funny a decade ago...but South Park has made this duo obsolete.Still,worth a watch.
Twilight Samurai-Yoji Yamada's beautiful film.Beautiful narrative.Beautiful cinematography, and impressive acting. Story telling at its best.Undoubtedly the best film of this whole lot I reviewed here.I am so glad I own it on Dee Vee Dee!
Good Night & Good Luck- VERY GOOD! A whole film in just one set...impressive.David Strathairn shines.
Oh well....that about does it for now...if you feel different about my opinion of the films I mentioned here , you know what to do.

Camera crazy

2006-06-24T10:34:00.000+05:30

My friends will vouch for the fact that I have been driving everyone crazy talking about cameras for the last one and a half years. More than them I had driven my dad crazy about which camera was the right one for me. I am sure the readers(plural!) will also remember that I had mentioned regretting not taking more photos every now and then. Day in and day out I had read pages after pages trying to inform myself as much as possible for prospective cameras and their inherent flaws. I had decided on buying the Panasonic FZ30k but I found out that the camera is being phased out of the market. I had to dive down into the world of cameras and online reviews to find a good camera again. Anyway, long story short, thanks to my dad, I got a much better camera yesterday. So Yay!
The Nikon D50 with the new Nikkor DX AF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G ED (Nikon D50 kit lens) ! I am smiling as I write this!

Variety...

2006-06-15T23:56:00.000+05:30

My long post about my trip to Bangalore will be delayed further due to inevitable circumstances(namely two-my laziness,and still some photos to recieve). To fill the time, here are a few things two entertain you...the song and the story are not my creation...they are forwards...so whoever created it, credit goes to them.....thanks to Rohan for sending it to me...
Before we start on the songs and the story....a few examples as to how original Bollywood is... scroll down...
This poster is of the Shah Rukh Khan starrer Don...yes...the remake of the Don...

Matrix Reloaded anyone?

As for the next,nothing much to say about it...

and now for the original...

Now for the song...
Sambhar of 69 (lyrics) tuned to Summer of 69

I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic,
but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah

standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

Back to the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting killed,
I was full and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever - FOREVER... NO!!!!

And now the dhabas are changing,
new dishes have come and gone,
sometimes when I pass that old madrasi lane,
I still smell it, I can't be wrong.

Standing in those unwashed clothes,
the waiters still call me in there,
oh the way my nostrils burn,
I know that it will be served forever,
what was the worst food of my life.

yeah it was the sambhar of 69,

the sambhar, the sambhar, the sambhar of 69 ……………

and the story....

THE MACHHI CODE!
Robert Lingam I.P.S (Vijayakanth aka CAPTAIN) visits
Madurai to deliver a
lecture
in college about public safety. The head pujari of
Meenakshi temple is
murdered. He was stabbed to death, but before dying
he lies down in the
robotic break dance position next to a shiva lingam,
the message clearly
being "call robert lingam". He had also smashed the
breasts of a goddess
statue and hung a bell with a chain from her hip.
Also clutched in his hand
is the Congress party manifesto with the 49%
reservation for OBCs underlined
with his blood.

Pujari's grand daughter Mahalakshmi (Sneha) had
just returned from USA with
a degree in cryptology, symbology, singing and
group-dance. She cuts short
her weekend trip to Chennai and returns to Madurai
upon the murder.

She meets Commissioner Lingam at the murder site and
together embarkto solve
the murder and in the process "witness the biggest
cover up in Hindu
history". "My 'Thaatha' used to insist that me and
my brother play hide and
seek inside the temple", said Mahalakshmi.

"Why the congress manifesto? Why the underlining on
the reservation part?
Was your thaatha going to lose his job as
head-priest to an OBC
candidate?",puzzled look on Lingam's face with knit
eyebrows."Thaatha always
said reservation was plain bull shit"

"What?"

"Bull shit - very rarely he used english but
whenever this topic used tocome
up, he wud use that term"Lingam's eyes lit up.
"That's the clue...yes, bull
shit, oh Rama how did i miss that", excited he
clutches Mahalakshmi's wrist
as they bolt out of the murder scene.
"Where is the biggest Nandi bull statue in this
temple complex?"

"by the east gate"

"Let's go".................

Lingam put his hand into the orifice which was the
asshole of the
Nandi bull statue. His fingers felt the cold touch
of an ancient palm leaf.
Pulling it out Lingam attempted to read under the
flickering light of the
solitary lamp post nearby.neatly written in outdated
tamil script were the
lines,

"Kai Anchu, Vaai Nooru Periya bookukule oru chinna
book"
(5 hands, 100 mouths, a small book inside a big book)
"Ah", Lingam sighed.
"What does it mean?"
"I have heard both these lines before...but in a
very different context"
Lingam looked skywards for some divine intervention
to help him solve this
new clue. Towering into the skyline in front of him
as dawn was breaking,was
the tall gopuram of the temple. Quickly turning
around, a smile danced on
Lingam's lips as his sight fell on all the five
towers. "The five towers,
phallic symbols...the five Pandava brothers, We need
to get to a library,I
need to see the original copy of the Kama sutra",
"this early in the
morning?" asked Mahalakshmi as they hurried towards
Lingam's jeep.

As they jeep hurtled towards the town library,
Lingam explained, "
Few temples in India are famous for their erotic art
and architecture.
The kings built those to encourage population
growth. For centuries, there
has been rumours of a secret society that guarded a
secret behind such art
and symbols, a secret so powerful that if revealed
would shake the very
foundations of conservative culture."

COMING SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU....
WITNESS THE GREATEST COVER UP IN HINDU HISTORY
A SECRET SO DEVASTATING THAT IF REVEALED COULD LEAD
TO EVEN MORE
CATACLISMIC POPULATION EXPLOSION.....
WAS THE MOST NOTORIOUS PIECE OF INDIAN LITERATURE
ORIGINALLY PART OF
THE GREATEST EPIC POEM EVER WRITTEN?
WERE THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE KAMASUTRA THE SAME
GODS AND GODDESSES
GLORIFIED IN ANCIENT TEXTS?
CONTINUING WITH THE MODERN INDIAN TRADITION OF
BLATANTLY APING THE
WEST....
A.M.RATNAM PRESENTS
CAPTAIN in
THE DA MACHI CODE
'SO CORNY A DARK MAN'
PONGAL 2007

Back with a fizz...

2006-06-07T10:49:00.000+05:30

I am tired...I am so tired...Well, my trip to South India, specifically Bangalore is over. I am back in the relative comfort of my own room. Much as I had painted in my mind, I am sorry to say that Bangalore, Namma Bangalooru is Namma Bangalooru no more. It has changed. My little more than two week stay in Bangalore gave me the distinct feeling that the spirit of the city itself has changed. Its looks and feels meaner. I know, this sounds crazy right? Dont worry I will explain all this later in my next post.
My friend Savio called to threaten me (he threatened nicely of course) that I should update my blog soon...so thats why this update. In fact I wanted to update my blog but with a long post about my experience in Bangalore. I wanted to do that with the help of photos my friends had taken. And getting all those photos from them will take some time...so this is more like a filler. In short, I am back in Kolkata, in one piece and another year older. After I finish writing this post, I will go look over brochures for old age homes...ooh my aching back!
Before I go, a few things. My friend Rohan has become a CSIR JRF(Junior Research Fellow) and has gotten through into CDFD(Centre for DNA Fingerprinting & Diagnostics in Hyderabad) for his PhD. That makes me happy-yes indeedy. To be frank, I cant think of a more deserving candidate. As a matter of fact I think he is even more deserving of more hair on his scalp but oh well. Cant have everything can we? Who knows? Maybe he will someday soon. One can only wish for good things for him. My closest friend in Kolkata, Arkava, will be heading over to Ghaziabad for his MBA in IMT in a few weeks...thats another of my friends who has gotten through a tough set of tests and is heading steadily towards a bright fututre...I must admit, life will be lonely without my closest friends to hang out with. But I look forward to the day they will invest freely on my crappy films! Boy am I getting senile or what! I think this will do for todays post. I will leave you with the concept art of MEG, the shark film I mentioned in my previous post and the poster and screenshotz of A Scanner Darkly (july 7th baby-woo hoo!).Adios.

...and memories part deux

2006-05-04T00:57:00.000+05:30

I had thought I would be posting a photo everyday but somehwere down the line those plans got wasted. Anyway, as I had mentioned before my first year is officially over so yay! I will be heading down south for a long trip through South India. Hopefully it will turn out to be a fun trip.
Before I go down memory lane again, a few interesting tidbits of information. I saw the first teaser-trailer of Casino Royale today. Granted, the trailer was in french and my limited knowledge of that language did not help me understand much but I must say, it sucks. It sucks more than the Bond films in which Timothy Dalton starred in. Daniel Craig seems to have committed career harakiri. There was even one bond villain who jumps around like toad in the x men comics. I was never a fan of Bond films but still they never looked this bad. The other clip that I saw was of Brandon Routh trying to fill the boots of Christopher Reeve and failing miserably. It had some cutscenes of him flying superfast through a building and trying to save a burning plane from crashing but man oh man did he look stupid. The sfx of the film obviously look good 'cause with a 210 million dollar production budget(excluding publicity) ANY film can look good. Meh.
Lately every discussion board I have gone to, people seem to be really looking forward to a film called Snakes on a Plane. No points in guessing the storyline. It stars the ever irritating Samuel Jackson. Apparently the studio realized people were stoked for this film and reshot some scenes to include some R rated scenes to make it more adult oriented. One such scene apparently includes a dialogue by Jackson-"Get the mothef****** snakes off my mother****** plane!" Classy. Real classy. Proof beyond all doubt that Hollywood has run out of ideas. One person in my dislike list, Vin Diesel is starring and directing a film. He will play the role of Hannibal Barca , the Carthaginian general who led an elephant-riding battalion across the Alps to attack Rome in the 3rd Century B.C. The few paintings I have seen of hannibal doesn't put him anywhere near the ugly mug of Diesel. Stand aside ladies and gents, history is being set up to be raped again. Ugh! Where are my puke pills? Last ,but not the least, a film which is in the preproduction stages. Its called MEG.Its going to be directed by Jan De Bont. You know the type, summer blockbuster. It basically is an adaption of a bestselling book which chronicles the hunt for an eighty foot long, 100,000 pound Megalodon shark, the most deadly predator of all time. I know whats the first thing that pops to your head. Jaws. I thought so too. But a look at the poster got my skin tingling. Who knows? This might be something worth watching. Coming, of course in 2007.

And now for a a trip down memory lane...

Thats Kaushik and me...

Thats Kaushik buttball and Rohan Misra there in my flat. They were lying around chatting about things when I asked Rohan for an imaginative pose. And what a pose it was. Captions , as you please.

Memory lane

2006-04-30T01:44:00.000+05:30

Like I had mentioned in my previous post, I had been intending to post some of my meager photo collection to take a walk down memory lane...and maybe even have some fun in the process. So, here goes. Add captions to taste...

Well, allow me to introduce these fine gentlemen. From left to right. Tushar,from Bangladesh. Kaushik(fondly called buttball by us).Binod(well no nickname can do him justice) and last but not the least, Rohan Singha. This photo was taken in my flat a few months before I left Bangalore for good(4th quarter of 2004). Notice how Rohan is staring at Binod? Is that fondness in his eyes,or is that a vampiric smile I see? Add your captions ladies and gents.

Picture Perfect

2006-04-18T01:55:00.000+05:30

I had intended to do a whole series on some personal photos to take a trip down memory lane, but I found a few photos on the net which I thought I just had to post here. Before I do post them, a disclaimer, if you will. These photos are just to make you laugh. Humour. I assume you are no stanger to it. So take it in that sense. And if you cant? Your loss.

I wonder what that says about people of faith?

And now for the funny ones...

and now for the main course...

P.S.- The church signs are from http://churchsigngenerator.com . More funny ones there if you can visit them.

This and that

2006-04-16T00:57:00.000+05:30

A lot has happened in the last week or so. My first year in film school is drawing to a close. I have only two more days of shoot to attend and then I am done. I had intended to post some good news in my upcoming posts but it got delayed due to several reasons. As a matter of fact said good news has been basically rendered useless by a recent developement. Moreover, I had foolishly lost my temper on a friend for an entirely baseless reason after which I kind of lost my desire to post anything at all.I am not sure I deserve to be forgiven after my outburst.That commincation gap caused a huge misunderstanding and frankly I dont know what posessed me to behave that way.
I had wanted to inform everybody that South Park season 10 had started in America and that it had started with a bang. The first episode was quite funny to be frank. But then I found out that the main website which hosts SP episodes has been myteriously pulled down without any explanations. That's right, mrtwig.net is no more. Granted there are other websites which hosts SP,but not in the same small format size. Anyway, a great website has been pulled down and that makes me sad. Sallu got bail and came out looking as nonchalant as before. Which makes me wonder, how much of this was planned? Was it planned in a way that fools like me would rejoice thinking that he would get his just desserts? Remember, the industry has around 200 crores riding on him in the next 2 years and they wont be prepared to let that kind of money go down the drain .
Anyway, the last few weeks I had been trying to finalise my plans to go to Bangalore. I must admit,even thinking of going back to that town brings back a lot of memories. One thing I must point out here, all through out my life I have never been very enthusiastic about photographs. As a matter of fact I have had an aversion to being present in group photos. I even used to snigger at people who used to allways have a camera by their side. Some of my friends ended up having a dozen or so albums of photos just in three years of college. In all my school years I had my photo taken only a few times. As a matter of fact, my last school photo was taken in class 4. The aversion to being photographed kicked in and I didnt have any photos taken till I went to college. But lately now that I think about it, in my effort to remain unphotographed like a midget brother of bigfoot I seem to have almost no photos of the people closest to me.
These thoughts had kicked in more and more because I had been planning on buying a camera for a long time to suit my professional needs.I hope I can correct this once I manage to buy my camera. Soon, I hope. I cant help but think that if only I had been a camera nut from earlier on, it would have been beneficial for me in many ways. Those who know me would probably be surprised to see me getting nostalgic. But I have looked at my meager photo collection countless times. Well, another proof that I am getting old. Oh well, if I am indeed going senile than might as well do so with flair. I had gotten a few photos of mine scanned. I would be posting some photos in the coming days. Just to relive the old days. Ah!The days when my mind was less screwed up. It is nice to look back at simpler times now and then.

Jail! For real!

2006-04-11T11:07:00.000+05:30

Exactly two months back I had posted an article about the news of Salman Khan being convicted and sentenced to one year in prison for his poaching skills. At that time he was given one month to enable him to appeal. This poaching incident took place when Sallu baba was in jodhpur shooting for another insipid film. Now in a new verdict Salman has been sentenced to 5 years rigourous imprisonment along with the one year already announced. The best thing was that apparently Sallu had come into court looking very calm and cool. In fact he was even talking to someone over the cellphone.But his smug attitude vanished when the Chief Magistrate sentenced him to 5 years rigorous imprisonment. The rule says that if anyone is sentenced to more than 3 years of imrisonment, they are taken immediately and directly to jail. Happily enough, Salman was no exception. Since today it is a holiday, he wont be able to appeal today. So this means that he gets to spend at least two days in jail for Sallu,if not the 5+1=6 whole years. Well, Salman, open your pyajamas, its time you got some hot loving coming your way! My only grouse is that there wont be any streaming video available for the world to watch him get it! I hope he squeals. I hope he squeals like an obnoxious little piggy that he is.
On a more serious and even happier note, if indeed Sallu stays in jail for 6 years that means no more Sallu films at all to dull our senses. More importantly, Sallu wont be appearing as Lord Krishna in Mani Ratnam's Mahabharata. Thank goodness for that.

Crash...and burn

2006-04-06T01:04:00.000+05:30

Today i got to see Crash in the theatre. Sorry,not a theatre but in a multiplex(yes there is a difference). I had been interested in watching this film for some time and seeing it win the Best Picture Oscar over other heavyweights only heightened my interest in the film. At first two things surprised me- one that we got to see the film uncut. I guess my surprise is due to the fact that I have gotten used to seeing even ordinary scenes being cut in the hall let alone scenes of an adult nature. The first problem I had was the print of the film.The print it seems was extremely scratched which made watching some scenes quite irritating. The other thing was seeing the hall fill up only to its 1/8th capacity.If Crash is drawing such a small crowd then what hopes does Brokeback have?Must watch it soon before it goes.
The first thing that I liked about the film was its music. It set the tone for the intended subject matter. Crash talks about racism thorugh the lives of around a dozen different characters. It started off quite well, making sure that the audience related to the right characters.But somewhere down the line,the film started reeling under its own weight. I had a little problem believing a few things. Some aspects of the film bothered me more,so lets get all of them out of the way.
First and foremost I must warn you that from here onwards I will be revealing plot details which are potential spoilers. Read at your own discretion. The first thing that was flawed about the film was a scene where a little girl is accidentally shot from a distance of less than 3 feet and escapes unharmed. The logic given,was of course that the gun was loaded with blanks. Now even my limited knowledge of ballictics tells me that blanks fired within a range of less than 4 feet can be fatal. Even if somehow the victim escapes a fatal wound, there will be some kind of flash burn or shrapnel injury. Yet the girl escapes unhurt. The director wanted to add the element of fairytale to this particular scene but for me that did not work out well. This being a technical fault, I can overlook. The other two major points that I have against the film hurts the film and cripples it fatally.
The character of the Iranian shopkeeper who had very limited grasp of english was the one which took the worst hit. In a story where significant misunderstandings and language barrier are the essence of escalating tension and drama,this man's understanding of english varies to such an extent that by the end of his story he was forming full sentences and speaking english with a thick american accent,and that too without any visible effort. The most crucial misunderstanding of the shopkeeper's story relies solely on his extremely limited command over a language foreign to him and yet his vocabulary increases tenfold in a matter of hours.That particluar bit stuck out like a sore thumb.
Now for my final grudge against the film. Paul Haggis' story uses the slick idea of multiple stories running simultaneously to recount different peoples lives and their encounters with racism.But rather than talk about racism itself, it just uses it as a launchpad to cruise through different situations. Like I said before, I got the distinct feeling that inspite of the strong start the film had started reeling under its own weight by the middle. The film had started of with a study of characters with their fair shades of grey in them,like the D.A.'s wife who is openly racist,or like the cop who ,excuse the pun- cops a generous feel of a woman in front of her black husband to humiliate him. But right around the interval the film did a volte face. Suddenly we saw one character who was negative up until now doing something nice. Then another character followed suit. So basically one after the other each character got their screen time where through various acts they sort of redeemed themselves in the audience's eyes. The final straw was seeing Sandra Bullock's character hugging her spanish housekeeper. What was Haggis thinking? I for one couldnt for the life of me figure out. My main grouse is that it felt like Haggis was talking about redemption through their acts. I wonder, if he ever intended anything more than a cursory glance into this subject matter.In the end his ham handed er, handling of such serious subject matters is what killed the film.The film felt like it was divided neatly into two parts-till the rescue of Thandie Newton's character was the first half followed by the "look ma!There is good in me too!" fest.I did not have any trouble believing all the conincidences and the chance meetings. What I could not believe was this crude treatment of a subject matter that has such serious implications.
You must be thinking by now why I am being so harsh in judging this film. Considering that many people have adjudged this film to be the best of last year's lot this film came with high expectations. A film that won the Best Picture,Best Screenplay and Best Editing Oscar ,I thought had a lot to offer.I was initially sceptic of the film since this was written and directed by the same guy who wrote Million Dollar Baby. I expected it to be as predictable. Nevertheless,i think another problem of the film was its unusually short running time. Ensemble films generally need more time to give breathing space to the characters. Movies like Magnolia is a better example of ensemble films. The few good things about the film were the performances of Thandie Newton,Don Cheadle and Matt Dillon. Don Cheadle's story in particular stood out for me at least. The last scene between Cheadle's character and his mom was quite impressive. Crash had won the Best Picture Oscar over heavy weights like Brokeback Mountain,Munich,Capote and Goodnight and Good Luck. Of these I have already seen Good night and I rather liked it. Let's hope I get to see the other nominees soon enough. Before I bid you goodnight,I must say again that Crash by no means is unwatchable.It is in fact a nice film. Certainly much better than the likes of Gladiator, Unforgiven, Shakespeare in Love or Million Dollar Baby-all Best Picture winners coincidentally.

The Grumpy Old Men's Club

2006-04-02T14:01:00.000+05:30

Well, since I posted my poem I half expected lynching mobs to appear at my doorstep. Neither human nor spectral ones came. For that, I am indeed relieved. But needless to say my A.D.D. syndrome brain didnt have much time to fixate on that. I had stumbled across an interesting but disturbing situation. It seemed to me that everywhere I looked, all the people around me had been infected by a terrible disease. No one knows any cure for this disease. My relatives, my acquaintances, even some of my friends were falling prey to it one by one. Marriage fever. Everywhere I looked, everyone I know were getting married. Correction, are getting married. People from my office, my college, my relatives - everyone has jumped on the bandwagon.
Even if they weren't getting married,they were announcing engagement ceremonies which means a year later they would be married. A few of my friends even called up a few weeks back asking me to be their witness in the court for their registry. Egads! Don't get me wrong, marriage is not bad if you find the right person and all. While I didn't expect them to stay bachelors and spinsters forever, I just didn't expect so many of them to get hitched so soon. Since most of my friends are in the same age bracket it is only statistically obvious that they would generaly get married around the same time...say between the age of 23-28. The last few months have been particularly taxing on the imagination. Not a single month, maybe even a week has passed when I havn't got news of someone or the other's marriage plans. I must clarify at this point that this is not the rant of a person who is feeling left out or anything. For once I am truly glad I am left out.
But this is part of a bigger picture. Most of the guys and girls who are settling down are already well established and they seem headed for a comfortable future. While look at me, I have chosen a stream where only two things work the most. How much clout you have and how deep your pockets are. Neither holds true in my case. Add to that the fact that arthouse films(I don't like that label but am being forced to use it) are not exactly very popular with the public or the producers means my future isn't looking too bright. The industry is a living hell and it will be at least another 6 years before I can even dream of my own film on my own terms.The chances that I will succeed are rather slim to say the least. In all reality I will be old,bitter,unsuccessfull and cranky within 20 years.
I know what you are thinking-"There he goes again.Man!Can't he stop bitching about his bleak future?" I would ask you to hold your horses at this point cause this is exactly where I prove why this will be a good thing. Now keeping in mind about my mentality when I grow old(some would say I already am a bitter old man) I have decided to start a club. Thats right, a club. Very exclusive,very snooty. No amount of money or status will make you qualify for this club. I have come up with the following criteria for the club's membership. Read on-

The Grumpy Old Men's Club qualification rulebook-

1. Applicant cannot be a studmuffin by any stretch of the imagination.
2. Applicant should preferably be a social outcast.
Note-specially embarassing incidents in youth might help your chances of induction.
3. Applicant should not be fans of the following-
Russel Crowe
Rosario Dawson
The Rock
Vin Diesel
Hrithik Roshan
Kareena Kapoor
Paris Hilton
Ameesha Patel
Salman Khan
Colin Farrell
(the list will be expanded as and when it is deemed necessary)
4. Applicant should have extensive experience of being socially inept.
Note-Video tapes of the applicant mumbling when meeting people will add to your induction chances.
5. Applicant should not have a steady job.
6. In case Applicant has violated rule 5, we can consider membership under special clause 5-B. Special clause 5-B states that if applicant has held a steady job for some time he would only be considered if he has completely failed to save up any money in that tenure of his employment.
7. Applicant under no circumstances should have any stocks,bonds or portfolios securing their future.
8. Applicant should love the following-
Books
Films
Comics
anything else is an added advantage unless it violates rule 3.
9. Applicant should have extensive hours put into daydreaming.Minimum D.Q ratio (Daydream Quotient) should be over 25 .Any less, and you needn't bother applying.
10. Applicant should be able to quote at least 3 different superhero comics' major events.trivia,dialogues, etc.
11. Applicant should have a first hand idea of sarcasm. Applicant will be expected to write a short sarcastic letter against a person of his choice to showcase his skills.
Note-As before, any deriding comments, sarcastic pranks or limericks coined by the applicant in the past will increase his chances of getting in.
12. Applicant should be well read, and extensive knowledge of Middle Earth and Dune is a must.
13. Applicant will have to show medical records of periods of clinical depression he went through in the past. Applicant should be a control freak.
14. Applicant should be vastly underconfident. Cocky or assured people will not be tolerated.
15. Applicant should have spent hours wondering about death. Morbidity is a must.
16. Applicant have some quirky behaviour which is his unique signature.It would also essentially make it easy for the others to make fun of him.
17. Applicant should be less worried about attire and clothing and more worried about how to expand his film/books/comics collection.
18. If applicant has own laptop or home theatre system, it will be an added bonus.

Applicants can start applying now. Leave your preliminary applications in the comments box.

Having thought of these stringent rules, I can think of 3 of my friends who will qualify.
Since membership is a secret, we will call them Mr X, Mr Y and Mr Z.
But Mr X is well on his way to becoming a famous scientist (and he is also the most intelligent person I have encountered in my life).
Mr Y is well, gonna become an expert at hiring and firing people and a famous writer/poet.
Mr Z on the other hand will become a famous animator.
While I wish they would become members of my snooty club, I am their friend first-therefore I wish nothing but immense success for them. May they bathe in riches and fame. Besides I will need a few suckers who will support me when i am a pauper and sponsor some of my films. Did I say suckers? I meant shrewd individuals who would like to earn money from my films' box office success. Yeah, right!

The horrors of poetry

2006-03-27T11:44:00.000+05:30

Well, I think before I give all of you, my readers, a heart attack I need to explain a little backstory to this post. I had pestered my friend Arkava to create a blog and every now and then I had been after him to post more often. Lately i had been getting this nagging feeling that all that pestering would come back to bite me in the ass. Well, it did. Arkava demanded, no no-nearly blackmailed me into this agreement that I have to write and post a poem on my blog. UGH! For those who dont know me, I have what can only be called a strange respect for poetry. Poets to me are strange creatures who can make words dance. Poets hold me in more awe than writers. Forming sentences, now there isn't much mystery to it. Of course some do it better than others but I can understand how it works. But writing poetry? Now that a bigger mystery to me than the Bermuda triangle. And here I was getting blackmailed into writing one. A warning note, if I may- I had tried to write a poem when i was in class 5. The results were a 10 line poem about a hunter in Africa. Needless to say, to call it a limerick would even be a severe, if not impossible stretch of the imagination. Anyway, so here I was, being blackmailed into writing one again. Anyway, what curses I muttered silently at Arkava is history now- whats done is done. Next time around I wont fall into such traps again. I am just glad that my work is done - the rest has to be endured by my readers. If the readers dont form an angry mob and lynch me, surely the ghosts of Tagore and Neruda will.

Heart of stone

I am a grotesque parody of Atlas
Shrivelled and shrunken,
Bowing down to the weight thrust upon me,
No Gods or religion to give me hope,
No priests to set me free.

I have shackled myself to doubt,
I cry out in anger,
But sorrow drowns my voice,
What comes out is true no longer,
'tis with untruth frought.

Crowds flock around me,
They scream and shout,
My lack of faith drives them to me
Each have their plans,
To turn me devout.

I see pity in their eyes
They think of me as a poor soul,
Lost is he - they say,
Maybe,just maybe he will some day
See the error of his way.

They want me to be rid
Of the burden to which i am bound,
Tell me my friends,
If I do change,
Won't I stop being me?

My burden is mine alone,
It doesn't make me weak,
It drives me harder still,
To newer thresholds of pain,
I long for the day,
When pain shall have had its fill.

I will rise anew then,
Like a phoenix from its ashes reborn.
My burden will be but a box of cinder.
But one thing above all haunts me,
Will it make me unfeeling?
Will I be like stone?

Change they say is ineveitable
Who then or what will save me from it?
What will save me from inveitable apathy?
Hear me if you will,
If there is even a magic pill
To save me from such fate

I would take it gladly.
But no answers come,
The crowd surrounding me is long gone.
Then as if in answer,
A voice from the depths replies-
No magic pills for you,

For you no cure,
You housed yourself in doubt,
Danced with cynicism,
You sent your friends away.
Doubt will forever be your handmaiden,
And pain, your only way.

What do you know? I am well on my way to pseudo-intellectual heaven!

Wallace!Gromit!Oscars!

2006-03-26T01:22:00.000+05:30

After having seen Wallace and Gromit in their first full length feature film I had decided to watch their already famous oscar winning short films. There are three which are most famous. Namely- A Grand Day Out with Wallace and Gromit (1989),Wallace & Gromit in The Wrong Trousers(1993) and Wallace & Gromit in A Close Shave(1995). Today I watched all three of them. Ah,it feels so good. Though I must admit the shorts are not nearly as fun or sophisticated (in terms of production value) as their full length counterpart but it is still a lot of fun to watch. Gromit's expressions alone are priceless. I never thought that a lump of clay could emote more than me.Then again,this same lump of clay has more acting range than Vin Diesel,The Rock,Colin Farrell,Hrithik Roshan,Rosario Dawson,Amisha Patel,Kareena Kappor AND Salman Khan combined! Speaking of which, I hear that Sallu baba is in more trouble as his own bodyguard has returned to be a witness against him in the drunken driving incident. Just imagine, if he goes to jail for 5 years, no sallu films for 5 long years. That thought alone puts a smile on my face. Back to the subject matter. Well,in the three short films I would say I liked The Wrong Trousers the most,followed closely by A Close Shave. A Grand Day Out I found to be somewhat lacking in the story department. Dont let that deter you from watching it though. The faineant solitudinarian bids you goodnight.

I am back

2006-03-19T16:44:00.000+05:30

Well,last week was an interesting experience as a whole. I wrapped up shooting for my short film (you know,it feels real nice to say it) and that experience was an education in itself. Man, was it hectic(I had slept exaclty 4 hours in 3 and a half days) . I believe the only words that were going through my brain when I reached home were these-
Must...find..b-bed......Need..sleep.Food.Feed me now!
Yes,that was me indeed.Sounding like a zombie from Warlords Battlecry. Anyway,now that two days have passed,I can safely say-i am STILL very tired. The physical activity isnt what took the wind out of me. The mental stress was quite a lot. Anyway,as I was saying,the shoot was hectic,but it was so much fun. I can't possibly put down in words what it feels to be making one's own film. Mind you,I am not trying to talk about the quality of work being done (which is crappy to say the least),I am merely talking about the rush you feel when doing something you love. Hopefully I will learn from my mistakes and get better at this. The one other thing I learnt the hard way was not to depend on anyone to do their job. Although most of my crew did their bit but a few key workers did not show up at the crucial time which almost stalled my shoot. Water under the bridge,as they say. Now I know better.
Around ten days from now,I start editing my film. So till then I am going to try and relax a little. Note the words "try and relax" in the previous sentence. Which means I will pretend to relax while having endless nightmares about how many ways I will screw up my editing.

Oscar again

2006-03-12T21:32:00.000+05:30

In my previous post I had commented about the Academy award going to Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit instead of the two other competitors,namely Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and Hayao Miyazaki's Howl's moving castle.Recently I procured the dvd of Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit and I watched it yesterday.Before I start talking about that I will point out two things.I had already seen Corpse Bride and I had seen around one-third of Howl's moving castle without any subtitles.So needless to say I did not have a very good understanding of Howls' storyline.But Howl's animation was quite simply breathtaking.During the oscars I was more or less sure that either Howl or Corpse Bride would win.I had also seen a 5 minute clip of Wallace and Gromit and didnt find it to be very interesting.So when Wallace and Gromit trounced both these contenders and took the award I was very disappointed.Now that I have watched it I can safely say that the decision doesn't seem so unfair now.You see,Wallace & Gromit had something which I thought Hollywood cartoons had lost a long time back.A healthy dose of fun filled adventure.The great thing about this film was the non stop fun i had watching it.The jokes kept coming and coming(and not lame cultural references) and although admittedly the storyline was nothing unexpected(the twist being plain in sight) but that didn't stop it from being a non stop rollercoaster of fun(I also happened to find out that since this was clay animation,it took them 5 years to animate this film completely.Apparently a productive day would be when they could manage to get 10 seconds of usable footage.Thats a lot of hard work.After they had finished,their entire setup was lost due to a fire in the studio warehouse).Did i mention it was fun??I did??While the film wont make you roll over and fall off from your chair, you wont be able to wipe the grin from your face for more than 10 seconds. Corpse Bride's main theme was dark humour which most people won't appreciate in a cartoon.As for Howl,i may not know about it much but since it's a Miyazaki film,it can be safely said that it would have had a complex layer of plots.I can understand now why Wallace & Gromit would get more preference over those two.I was sure that Wallace & Gromit did not deserve the Oscar but now I am not so sure.I am willing to contend that the choice was extremely difficult.So Tamal says two thumbs AND both feet up!When you are down and out and need cheering up buy/rent this-this is just what the doctor ordered.

The Oscars

2006-03-08T00:24:00.000+05:30

Well,the Oscar ceremony for this year is done and I believe my friend Rohan has started breathing normally again. Any longer and he would have fainted. As usual the Oscars winners this year is a mixed bag. I, being very bitchy by nature, have some things to point out. Since I have been very busy I have not been able to watch most of the films in this years nominees so I wont diss them totally. One thing I am very happy about -Ang Lee. He finally won the oscar. It was high time. Lets hope this ensures that he gets his hands on bigger projects(hopefully starts filming the Crouching Tiger prequel and sequel! ). I am also happy for Philip Seymour Hoffman.He has been doing small but memorable roles for a long time and its great to see him being rewarded.George Clooney being awarded for Best Supporting actor was also quite delightfull.
For me there were only 4 real surprises in the awards.The first was Crash winning Best Picture over Brokeback. But as is noticeable,the majority of the voters would associate with crash more easily than Brokeback. The second is of course Reese Witherspoon winning over Felicity Huffman.What in the name of hell was that?? Ugh! The third was seeing Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit winning the Best Animated Picture award over Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and Hayao Miyazaki's Howl's Moving Castle. Quite honestly I am tired of watching japanime being ignored at the Oscars.They can give an Oscar to crap like The Incredibles,but great works like Millenium Actress(that year,Shrek won the oscar and Millenium Actress didnt even get a nomination-dont get me wrong,Shrek is very good but compared to Millenium Actress it is less than nothing.),Princess Mononoke gets ignored. I have even seen Corpse Bride and I had thought either of those two would win. I loved Corpse Bride . Anyway, whats done is done.The biggest Shock for me was seeing the best song Oscar go to the song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" .What can i say?The subtelity of the song,the deeper meaning of the lyrics just bowled me over.Who the hell was John Lennon anyway? Writing songs like "Imagine"? I dont know if you have noticed, but lately the American people have been gripped by this reverse racism fever.Its as if all the white folks in their manors are thinking,"Ok,we have made slaves out of these people for 200 years or so,how do we make them forget it real fast?Give away awards to the most popular people/works even if its mindless,of course!"I still cant get over the fact the Jamie Foxx won the Oscar instead of Don Cheadle.I will give you an example to elaborate my point.Sony Pictures Animation has brought out a new animated film for kids called Open Season.I had downloaded the trailer.At the very end,we see one character saying to another "Not this fall,Bitch!"-yes, this was there in the trailer.This sudden over accomodation in American media to bring in more colored viewers is quite hideous.I dread to imagine what the situation will be a few years from now.Any day now we will hear Snoop Doggy Dog also getting an Oscar.Then again if enema-nem ..sorry Eminem can get an Oscar anything is possible.Before i end this post,i have one question though.Can anyone tell me how come Batman Begins can get a Best Cinematography nomination when Jarhead and Munich gets looked over?Seriously?

Thought I would never see the day

2006-02-19T00:08:00.000+05:30

I am sure all of you have already read this in the papers. Takla,i mean Salman Khan was sentenced to a year in prison but allowed a month to appeal by a Rajasthan court in a poaching case on Friday. Now i never thought that this day would come. This guy has been getting away with poaching, even manslaughter for a long time and i had all but given up hope that he would ever face the music. That's why this news came as a thorough surprise. I do understand that this does not mean that he will be going to jail. Consider this fact-the Bollywood industry has 250 crores worth of films riding on this moron in the next 2 years or so. All the power of Bollywood will be concentrating on trying to keep him out of jail. Before you know it he will be out in the streets running people over,threatning people over the phone.Oh well,this case will probably turn out to be one more slap in the face of Lady Justice. Here is to hoping that it doesn't turn out that way.Ok,the Sallu lovers can start bashing now.

Moi

2006-02-17T00:57:00.000+05:30

I finally managed to switch on GPRS in my phone. That enabled me to transfer all the photos lying around in my phone. That got me thinking. How can i make more people stay away from my blog?? Elementary! Show them my ugly mug!! So here it is. Click on my profile and see it. Be afwaid! Be vewy vewy afwaid! I hope you have some medication ready! And add to that the eerie noose on the top right hand corner will add just the right dosage of psycho to my blog!
Read the warning label carefully! It may sound funny but it is quite right!

The thing about porn

2006-02-12T23:51:00.000+05:30

Yes,yes..you read the heading right. We are talking about porn. Its is the p word. Before I get into telling you people,my readers (Why?? Why do you waste your time on drivel?? Its a complete mystery to me.) about the occasional wonderment of sorts I have had on this subject matter, I think it would be best for me to recount a funny anecdote. The joke , I assure you is on me in this misadventure of sorts.I was in college in Bangalore around 4 years ago ( it is quite hard to believe so much time has passed already) ,attending my second year in M S Ramaiah College. We used to have a cd parlour near our hostel from where we used to regularly rent out films. You see,studying is something that i did the least in college. Ah,those were the days. Anyway,one of those days,late at night me and 2 other friends of mine,namely Rohan and Aditya had gone to the cd parlour to return and take more films to watch.While we were going through the catlogues,a guy walked in and stealthily took out a couple of unmarked cds and quickly handed it over to the guy at the counter. Scientists have determined that was the exact moment my brain shut down entirely and I became el stupido. It was my moment to put my foot in my mouth-which if I may add I did so with a certain panache. I quickly asked the man at the counter in a high pitched excited voice-"Excuse me, are you renting out software cds too??" Silence, all i could hear was silence for what felt like eternity while the stupidity of the comment I had made sunk in. Of course it wasnt software,it was porn which if i may confess I had rented from there too. The rest is quite obvious from then on. Everyone inside that shop were laughing at me. And it burned,it burned like hell! And look! I am such a glutton for punishment that I am posting this humiliating incident on my blog!
Well,if you have quite finshed laughing at me then I shall talk about what I had actually had planned on talking about. Can it be so that pornography is a male phenomenon?? That can't be correct. I think I need to explain what I said. I was wondering that up until now I have not met any woman who actually admits to enjoying watching porn. While I may have encountered women who have watched porn films now and then ,but I am yet to encounter someone who actually keeps porn or collects them.Is it a prudishness on their part?This question popped into my head the other day when in my college a batchmate was very pissed cause she found that her friend had stored porn in her computer.Hearing her rant about how she feels very strongly against storing porn got me thinking.I realized that i had not heard any girl enthusiastically admit to enjoy watching porn(at least not first hand) leave alone collecting it. I know it is a moot point but I would like to hear your opinion about this. One other thing though, this observation of sorts is based on very limited interaction with women, since you know how popular I am, so I can't really take this as a well sampled observation.That is why I need your input in this matter. The typical Indian middle class psyche also could be one of the factors.Most girls in the middle class encounter porn through their boyfriends rather than friends and it becomes their only source. So the only time they get to see porn is when some guy is trying to get them into bed or something of that sort. Or could it be that most girls enjoy this freedom of deniability that they have in this matter wherein they can blame it on their boyfriends? "Its not my fault,its his! He is the one with the dirty mind and hands in his pants! Blame him!" Your thoughts??

P.S.- You may notice that the font from this post onwards is bigger,it is because of the fact that a friend of mine complained that it was too small to read comfortably. Well I am just too lazy to change the font sizes in all my posts.

The Oscars

2006-02-09T21:27:00.000+05:30

Before i begin to write something relevant to this topic i must say that last month i had grand plans to upload around 8 new posts but well,all that grand plan went down the crapper.Lots of work at the institute has made it impossible for me to find the time to post anything.Since the Oscar buzz has started and i would like to say a few things regarding the Oscars.Lately,having watched quite a few films which had been nominated for the oscars i find it even harder to expect justice to be done even this year.Granted i have not seen any of the nominees for this year but i am all psyched for quite a few films-namely,Brokeback Mountain,Munich,Goodnight and Good Luck.I had hoped Jarhead would get some nomination at least for its camerawork by Roger Deakins but that didnt happen.Over the years i have seen the Academy ignore deserving candidates and give awards for popular contestants.To name a few-
Two of the most over hyped films in history to win so many oscars-
Unforgiven and Gladiator.To say that Unforgiven is a disappointment is a terrible understatement.Anyway,no matter how much i rant about how bad this film was it wont change the fact the Clint Eastwood's film won so many awards.
The best Actor/Actress awards are also no exception.I recently saw Fargo ,in which Frances McDormand won the Best actress Oscar for a 12 minute role.The shortness of the role isn't a problem.Fargo isnt a bad film,but that same year Emily Watson was nominated for Lars Von Triers' Breaking the Waves and that role was immensely more difficult.Similarly Ellen Burstyn was nominated for Requiem for a Dream .That year Julia roberts won for Erin Brockovich.That same year even Juliette Binoche was nominated.Dont get me started.We all know how Russel Crowe won the oscar beating Tom Hanks for CastAway.That particluar one hurts.In recent years,Sean Penn won for Mystic River(another overrated film) when Sir Ben Kingsley had a much more memorable performance in House of Sand and Fog.Sean Penn was nominated for I am Sam but did not win,though admittedly that was a difficult choice with Denzel Washington winning that year for Training Day.I plan to watch Training Day again some time soon to refresh my memory of Denzel's performance.Last year Jamie Foxx's win for Ray,beating Don Cheadle for Hotel Rwanda is another one i find unfair.Having seen both the films i can say that in my humble opinion,Foxx's role was overhyped.Throughout the film's shoot he either wore dark glasses or wore skin colored monocles to help him act the role of a blind man.Think 14 years back when Al Pacino did the role of a blind man in Scent of a Woman.Hell and Heaven difference.Moreover out of the 8 or 9 odd songs in the film he sung only 2.The rest was sung by Ray Charles himself.That in my eyes at least reduces Foxx's achievement considerably.Don Cheadle made the role of Paul Rusesabagina's role so lifelike that i was in tears in the hall.All this is only natural in a country whose favourite critic calls Sean Penn's role in I am Sam very easy and gives the film 2 stars while giving XXX a 3.5 star amazing adventure fest.This very same critic calls Forrest Gump unbelieveable and Cinema Paradiso boring and melodramatic.Oh well, i just hope that this year the Academy makes less unfair choices than all the previous years.
A little trivia before i end my post-did you know that Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is one of the 4 films in the history of cinema to be nominated for both Best Picture And Best Foreign Language film simultaneously?The film holds the record for the most Oscar nominations for a "foreign" film. It was nominated for 10 Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Music (Song), Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay), Best Film Editing, and Best Costume Design.Ang Lee rocks!
Until my next post,goodnight.

Has the world finally come to its senses??

2006-01-20T23:07:00.000+05:30

I stumbled upon this photo while on another blog and i still wanted to post it in mine.It seems the world is coming to its senses finally!!If only it were true in real life.Anyway see the photo and then you can post your comment.

Oh well! Seems to me the Germans could actually do us a favour and get rid of those two. And yes,even though i know what 'die' in german means but its much funnier this way.What say you??Thanks to Savio for pointing me in this direction.

Mixed feelings

2006-01-09T21:09:00.000+05:30

I start my first post for this year with a news from the film world.I am sure most of the people who actually care to read my blog have read Life of Pi,the Winner of the Man Booker Prize 2002 written by Yann Martel.Well, last year around June our very own M Night Shyamalan had bought the rights to make it into a film.Needless to say i was not very happy with that.I absolutely loved reading Pi and didnt want to see it it being made by Shyamalan or by anyone else for that matter.But last week Joblo and other movie forums have come up with a confirmed news which left me wondering what to think(Yes,i know,this happens to me a LOT!).Jean-Pierre Juenet has confirmed that he is making Life of Pi.In case you dont know who he is,then his film credits include Amelie,A very long engagement and has even co-directed City of lost children.Quite frankly this announcement had left me in the middle.Dont know whether i should be excited or unhappy.Your thoughts??

Frank(ly) Miller sucks!

2005-12-31T01:20:00.001+05:30

Before i let loose the barrage of insults against the aforementioned person,allow me to tell you about this famous personality's achievements.For all you people who have not heard of Frank Miller -Yikes!!Whats wrong with you??Just kidding.Frank Miller is a famous comic book/graphic novel writer whose long list includes the very famous(or infamous.You take your pick) Sin City novels.I am sure most of you are raving about the film that got made recently which was an adoption of the aforementioned comics.Now i am guessing but you probably havn't read the original graphic novels.I have and when i was reading them i found a disturbing trend in every story.I call it Miller's 3 rules for success.Swearing,Bloody violence and lots of nipple shots.Whats the problem with that you ask?When i read The novels i thought "Allright,this is the style of this series.It will be different later on".Then i read his take on Robocop.Again the same pattern.It was as if he thought that the people reading it will grow up into beer guzzling morons of the middle class so he believes he has got it made.Well all this was ok.And on top of that he had written the novel The Dark Knight Returns.This novel, although had more violence in it than many a summer action film was not a bad read at all.So what was the last straw??DC has released a new series called All Star Batman And Robin, The Boy Wonder Written by Mr Miller and sketched by the wonderfull Jim Lee.Naturally i was excited.The concept behind it was like a star studded adventure of Batman and Robin.Mr Miller said his story would be "full of babes.".Quite the intellectual isnt he??here are some more names of his books - Booze, Broads and Bullets.Babe Wore Red and Other Storiesetc.I am sure there are many people who just go ga ga over his work.Dont get me wrong,he has done a wide variety of work which is interesting.But the quality is quite questionable.In the All Star Batman And Robin, The Boy Wonder comics he has Batman slapping robin now and then,mouthing one liners like "Are you retarded kid??I am the goddamn Batman.I will put you through holy hell.Holy hell or the next best thing."For a moment i didnt know if i was watching Vin Diesel or reading a Batman comic.And man do i despise Mr diesel.Never thought i would have to think of Batman and Mr diesel in the same sentence ever in my life.But Mr Miller's "genius" made it a bitter reality.The comics even has a full 2 pages of ass shot and cleavage merely in the name of character introduction.I hope Jim lee doesnt shoot himself after this little abortion of a work.I like that guys artwork.Mr Miller may be many things but an imaginative writer he aint.He isnt in the same league as Alan Moore,Daniel Clowes,Shirow Masamune,Mike Mignola,Alex Ross and of course the great Katsuhiro Otomo.Anyway,enough name calling.So here goes- Mr Miller you suck.If i ever meet you in real life i will slap you out of this planet for trying to taint Batman.Pray to satan i dont meet you.I am sure my friends are thinking "what can be expected from Tamal?He hates everything!"So i decided to end this post with something positve.Another comic book story.Its called Batman: Jekyll and Hyde.Written by Paul Jenkins and Artwork by Jae Lee, this storyline follows quite possibly the most dangerous encounter between Batman and Two face.All i can say is that this story has become one of my favourite comic books of all time.The dark,gritty and dangerous world of Batman has seldom looked so real and all consuming.I doubt there will be any comments to this post of mine so i aint gonna bother you with any reply requests.But seeing as this is my last post of this year,allow me to wish all of you a very happy and prosperous year ahead.Made any New Year's resolution yet?

Stuff

2005-12-18T23:50:00.000+05:30

How do i start this particular post? To be very frank i dont have much of an idea.Inspite of wanting to write about a few things i have not been able to find time to post anything.My classes have been quite hectic,and i am as good as dead these days.Hopefully i will get some respite from all the work for a few days two weeks from now.Anyway, a lot has been happening around the world lately.Famous people have been talking how the Holocaust was nothing but a fairy tale,a call center working woman was murdered.I guess you will read about all that in the papers.During this long period of silence my friend Savio has been very persistent in asking me to post on my blog.I must say -Savio loves reading substandard crap! Now,getting back to what i was going to write about.Recently India has seen the launch of its first graphic novel.Its called Corridor,written by Sarnath Banerjee.I read it a few days back.So what will follow next is sort of my review-or rather what i felt about the book NOT my critique.Read on.

I am a great fan of comic books and graphic novels in general.Having been a fan of works by Alan Moore,Masamune Shirow,Katsuhiro Otomo,Neil Gaiman,Daniel Clowes etc i have been in love with the medium itself.So when i first heard about this book-the first Indian graphic novel i was quite interested in getting my hands on it.Now that i have i feel like i have been hit by a bad spot of indigestion.The feeling wont go away and i guess this bad aftertaste is going to stick with me for a few days more.The book's problem isnt its pseudointellectuality,the book has other bigger problems.First and foremost the artwork.The majority of the frames are dependant on the foreground and the characters involving the plot(or rather the lack of plot).Minimal usage of mid-ground and background makes it look very two dimensional lacking any depth.The main characters are going through their lives all involved with their petty problems.When i read the novel i didnt feel close to any of the characters.Brighu sounds like he is an emotional vegetable,Digital Dutta thinking only about Karl Marx and Shintu of course stuck on sex.I know what you will think,this book is supposed to be talking about this kind of superficial life.It is one thing to talk about superficiality and it is another thing to just mention a few names and give snapshots of pseudointellectual tidbits and depend on them to speak out for themselves.The storyline meanders,becoming apparent that the author couldnt make up his mind what exactly should this be about.The problem i had with this novel was that i could feel it reeked of being reverse engineered.Its as if the writer sat down and figured the only people who will be even interested in buying a graphic novel in india would be come kind of elitist,so why not talk about Marx,existentialism in a wild tangent making inane references to them every third page or so.Mix that with sex,old records,second hand book shops and H1-B visa-wallah!You've got a heady cocktail which every snobby intellectual will lap up like a hungry dog.Sorry but this just doesnt cut it.Graphic novels can be very powerfull in its message delivery.One good example i can think of in the same lines as this novel is Daniel Clowes' Ghost World.If you can,please read that before reading this work.You will see what i mean.

Stats Counter

2005-11-21T11:45:00.000+05:30

It seems all my friends who have blogs have stats/hit counters on their page.This little thingie tells them how many people in total have come to their page.I was too lazy to go find myself a counter to put on my blog so there were no counters till today.A few days back my friend Rohan told me he has more than 200 hits on his blog and this got my curiosity all worked up-how many people have come to my page??Frankly i know it couldn't be more than 25 as i have told less than 10 people about my blog.Anyway,bottomline-idle brain....so here is my blog with a brand new stats counter.Good way to inflate/deflate one's ego i tell you!

Der Untergang

2005-11-12T00:45:00.000+05:30

The 11th Calcutta(I still prefer calling it Calcutta) FIlm Festival is underway,and being a film student i have been given a delegate pass to allow me to watch the films that will be screened.I watched Pedro Almodovar's Talk to Her on the big screen for the first time.It was bliss.More importantly i got to watch Downfall(Der Untergang) today.For those who have seen Das Experiment,they will know that this is the latest film to have been directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel.This film basically documents the last few days of Hitler.Having seen Mr Hirschbiegel's work i was raring to see this film for a whole year.All this time i had refrained from reading any critic's review because i didnt want to become biased towards or against the film.Today morning a thought kept bothering me-the theme of this film is such that it sounds that it might be pro-German.Worse,it might even be pro-Nazi.I reached a point where i seriously considered not watching this film.We all know Hollywood has done a bang up job of showing tales of World War 2 where the story has allways been only about the bad Germans being taught a lesson by the Americans.We definitely do not need a movie praising people like Hitler,Himmler and Goebbels as good guys.
So it was with much doubt and scepticism that i rushed in to watch Downfall.How can i put into solid words what transpired on screen till the film ended??Although we may not like to see it that way(me included)but Hitler and his underlings were very much people of flesh and blood-they had a private life of their own.Let me start where the film deserves the praise most.Oliver Hirschbiegel was walking the tightrope when he was depicting the private life of people like Hitler,Goebbels.The fact that he managed to show it so well still surprises me.A little note on the side though-this film is not for people who draw a complete blank when they hear about WW2.The best thing about this film is it is NOT polarised,it is not choosing sides.The film is interested primarily in telling the tale of the last days of Hitler and his crumbling power.Althrough out the film Hitler only once claims very softly that he is proud to have had a part to play in the fate of the jewish people.For people who know what horrors lied in that one sentence,it is enough to creep us out.Hitler was a born leader,an immensely enigmatic character.The German people chose to follow him out of their own free will,but a lot of it was due to the seduction that Hitler offered to the people.This film manages to show Hitler as he was-an ultimate seduction of ideology.It showed Hitler as a catalyst,bringing forth from the masses the horrific acts they were allways capable of.Major credit goes to Bruno Ganz-the man who plays Hitler.Without a doubt,an earth shattering performance.Hitler's slow decline into near madness,his every step into obvious defeat and loss of face is shown to such an extent of realism that any praise i shower will fall short.A few days from now i will get to see The Sea Inside.The film that beat Downfall at the Oscars last year.It will have to pack in a lot of punch to be able to trounce this film.Then again,who knows??The oscars is allways famous for stupid decisions(like Russel Crowe's role in Gladiator beating Tom Hanks' role in Cast Away).A film about WW2 where America is not mentioned even once probably wont sit well with them,add to that this controversial subject makes it the black sheep.Nevertheless,i eagerly await my oppurtunity to add Downfall to my dvd collection.In a day and age when it is un-cool to know about history and where members of the royal family appear in a costume party wearing the Nazi insignia,it is great to see a film which doesnt treat the audience as stupid idiots but lets them draw their own conclusions.Some will definitely think that i am showering more praise on this film than it deserves but then agian, this is just my opinion.
There is a scene which has Goebbels' face in an extreme close up lit up by the flames in front of
him.Made my skin crawl.So dont waste your chance if you ever get an oppurtunity to see this film.I am off to get some rest and dream uneasy dreams.

Cartoon Violence

2005-11-07T23:11:00.000+05:30

After looking at the staggering number of responses(all of two) in my previous article I have returned again.See??I am like a bad penny!I keep coming back.This time i am back with more depressing news-it is an article I read in The Telegraph today,and i have quoted it word for word in the following lines-
London, Nov. 6: Iranian state television has broadcast a cartoon that glorifies suicide bombings against Israelis, depicting a young boy blowing himself up after being told: “Go and show the Zionists how brave and heroic are the children of Palestine.”
The cartoon, one of a series shown by the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting on “Jerusalem Day” nine days ago, presents the actions of a boy who kills himself to strike back against Israelis as an example for children to follow.
More professionally produced and graphic than previous Iranian propaganda aimed at children, the cartoon appears to be part of a campaign led by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to elevate the issue of the destruction of Israel. The day before it was aired, he declared at a World Without Zionism conference: “This stain of disgrace (Israel) will be wiped off the face of the world — and this is attainable.”
His comments were greeted with outrage in the West and prompted Tony Blair to suggest that military action might be required against Iran if progress towards a nuclear bomb continued.
At the start of the 10-minute animation, Abd al-Rahman, a Palestinian youth, watches as Israeli soldiers murder his family. They are seen laughing as they strike his mother in the face with a rifle butt and then shoot his father.
Abd comforts his sister and weeps, declaring: “Oh God, I must take revenge upon these bloodthirsty aggressors, who murdered my father, mother and brother.” His cousin Karim introduces him to a neighbour’s son, Jassem, who is a member of a “resistance group”.
Jassem instructs the boys to take part in an attack against Israeli soldiers, applauding their “deep faith” and telling them that they “may become martyrs”. Abd’s aunt bids the boys a tearful farewell. “Go, my children. Go and show the Zionists how brave and heroic are the children of Palestine.”
As he lies in wait, Abd ties a string of grenades around his waist. The convoy approaches and the film s hows satanic-faced Israeli soldiers sitting in a lorry around an ammunition box decorated with a Star of David.
Abd shouts: “I place my trust in God. Allah Akbar”, pulls the grenade pins and leaps onto the lorry. When the smoke clears, the bodies of Abd, the Israeli troops and the attackers are strewn around the road.
A young Palestinian boy then walks over to Abd’s body, takes his bloodstained keffiyeh head-dress, drapes it over his own shoulders and walks off into the sunset.

In case you were one of those people who do not like to read the papers other than to know about the latest Bollywood actress' nipple slip and team Chappell's exploits then allow me to introduce President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran-this new president had recently called on all the true believers to wipe out israel from the face of the planet.When criticized by other countries for this comment he responded by kicking out their ambassadors from his country.The icing on the cake?Iran is a nuclear power.
A Hitler wasnt enough for us to learn lessons in violence.Saddam is on trial but the world isnt safer by even the longest shot.
I just dont know what to say or think when i read something like this.

A quick question

2005-10-23T19:14:00.000+05:30

Allright,i am posting this question on my blog for two reasons-firstly an offhanded search in the internet didnt yield satisfactory results and more importantly i wanted to see what you guys had to say about it.One request though-dont go about perusing medical journals for the answer to this.I dont want a medical term for an answer.All right enough said,here goes-
Narcissism-people are called narcissistic when they show a certain degree of self love,allways admiring their pose in the mirror,sort of like Reggie in the Archie comics.But what word would you use to describe someone who cant stop himself /herself from looking at the mirror allways thinking inwardly-"Boy,i can believe how kickass ugly i am.I am so ugly,the word itself will commit suicide in order to avoid being associated with me."Mind you, this is not a mere display of underconfidence,lets imagine the person with this condition is quite confortable in where he/she is in life but just happens to believe that he/she is extremely ugly and/or undertalented and/or mediocre.Calling this the ugly duckling syndrome will be the easiest but i expect you to be more imaginative.Interestingly,the antonym of narcissism in the dictionary is humility.Whosoever reads this post,please do post your thoughts on this.I will await each of your unique input.

It's been a while

2005-10-21T12:01:00.000+05:30

It has been a while since i posted anything.Despite my intentions to post a few things in the last two weeks none of my plans succeeded.I kept coming to my blog everyday hoping that someone or the other would have posted some comment,someone would have something to say about whatever i had posted till that date-sadly no one had posted anything(i thought someone would have something to say but i was wrong).In other words-Taali bhi nahi Gaali bhi nahi!They say that anything that fails to get ANY emotion out of you is really bad(in this case really substandard writing).I guess that says a lot about my blog.So,is this the end then?Good evening and good night?Nay!If you think refusing to post comments is going to make me stop posting drivel,then boy are you wrong!
(Deep broken austrian accent)I am back!

P.S.-i STILL dont care if you hate reading drivel!

The Pride of civilization.

2005-10-08T22:51:00.000+05:30

I wanted to post this 2 weeks back but due to examinations and health issues failed to do so.This is a news that came out in the Times of India 14 days back.The following is the exact report taken from the TOI paper.All i want to say is people should feel proud that they are human beings.Incidents like these goes to show how civilized and humane we truly are.Read ahead-
The punishment for rape in Bihar’s Banka district, it seems, is entirely borne by the victim. At a 'panchayat', a raped woman was publicly made to lick the spit of her husband, who had instantly pronounced talaq when she told him of the crime committed on her. The rapist, meanwhile, was let off by the clergy with a fine of Rs 15,000 after he refused to marry the victim. The police said they were unaware of the incident. In a case that has strong shades of the infamous Imrana rape, the young rape victim of this Muslim-dominated village, has been running from pillar to post, seeking justice and security. The woman’s husband Mohammad Farooq of Rahmandih village pronounced talaq three times the moment she confided in him that she was raped by one Mohammad Ajaz on August 28. The Muslim clergies of both the villages concurred with Farooq’s decision. "Unhone mujhe bhari panchayat mein thook chaatne ko kaha, lekin aisa karne par bhee unko daya nahin aayee (My husband made me publicly lick his spit, but that too didn’t evoke any mercy)," the victim told TOI. The panchayat asked Farooq to return the amount of mehar — Rs 35,000 — to her and imposed a fine of Rs 15,000 on Ajaz. "A paltry sum of Rs 15,000 for ruining my dignity and my married life," she rued. Villagers of Padhyar and Rahmandih said the village panchayat, headed by mukhiya Alamgir Ansari, had in fact ordered Ajaz to marry the woman after he confessed. "However, Ajaz and his father did not agree to the marriage and, instead, are learnt to have deposited the fine," said Mohammad Sagir, a villager. The victim has filed a case in the court of chief judicial magistrate and the court has directed the Dhoraiya police station to lodge an FIR against Ajaz and his father. The police however, are yet to respond. In fact, Dhoraiya PS officer-in-charge Bansidhar Jha feigned ignorance about "any such incident" or court order.

Dont worry,we will read this in the papers,shake our heads and expout words of wisdom and then go on with our lives.Me included.Ignorance,is truly blissfull.

Long time..

2005-10-02T23:51:00.000+05:30

Well, it has been quite a few days since i posted anything on my blog.Not that i didnt have anything to post,its just that i was busy(and i am lazy too).I told myself "Relax!The world wont stop to read your blog so you can postpone it for a few days."Surprisingly a friend of mine from bangalore actually made long distance calls asking me why i wasnt updating my blog anymore.Not once but twice.This says less about my blog and more about how Mr Savio K Mathews has gotten used to reading unadulterated drivel!He even said he likes my blog!Can you believe the preposterous things he says??I cant.So when he did say he liked my blog and thought it was funny and nice(yeah right!and Bush is a positive saint!),my reply was a very well practiced one.silence,followed by the mumbling thingie porky pig does at the end of each looney toons cartoon-bdbdbdbdbthats all folks!Except in this case i didnt follow it up with "thats all folks" my reply was just that mumbling stutter.
Nevertheless it was a reply.Thats my defense and i stand by it.In the next few days you will see a few updates about a few things that has been happening around the world.As for my reason for being busy-exams,classes,projects and oh-i bought a new computer!Thats right.NEW COMPUTER!I will make all of you jealous by posting all about it later.But to express my feelings about my new system i will refer to his great fatness cartman's immortal dialogues-
Awww.....sweeet...Awesome!!

Superman meets Spider(man??)

2005-09-23T03:34:00.000+05:30

You know the saying,dont you?You know,a picture says a thousand words?Well-i have for you not one but TWO pictures to blow your brains to kingdom come.I found one of them quite by accident on a blog webring and managed to save it right before my system decided to restart.So kudos to the people who originally posted it(i dont know it myself-but intend to find out.After all this is their credit too).The second one i dug up on my own.So-enjoy!

P.S-Now thats what i call an earth shattering crossover! Isnt Bollywood just lovely??

If you squint and look at the first picture, the name of the first song in side A is called 'Tu mera Superman'!!I would love to hear that song and find out the lyrics.

Saya is back for the hunt!

2005-09-21T18:44:00.000+05:30

October seems to be our lucky month.First ,the news of South Park getting back on air and now this.How can i say this without obvious glee??Saya is back,this time in a full fledged serial!Yippee!!The news is as follows-The Blood TV (Edit: Called Blood+) series has been scheduled for 6 pm Saturday on TBS starting in October. This is the prime time TV slot that has been previously given to extremely popular series such as Gundam Seed and Full Metal Alchemist.
3 Manga Series Related to Blood+ is to be Serialized in Separate Magazines as a lead up to the upcoming Blood+ TV series, 3 completely different Blood manga series will begin serialization in three different Japanese magazines.The first, by Asuka Katsura, will premiere in Beans Ace Magazine volume 1, on sale July 8th, and will take place during the Russian Revolution. The next series, by Kumiko Suekane, will start in the September issue of Monthly Shonen Ace, on sale July 26th. The third series, by Hirotaka Kisaragi, will start in the September issue of Ciel Magazine, on sale July 30th.
As you can see we have a long wait before we get the translated manga in our hands but we can wait...as for the other question in your minds probably,the Blood+ series is a prequel.Saya does not look the same as she did in the film.This is how saya looks like in the upcoming serial.

P.S-For people who dont know Saya Otonashi and what Blood: The Last Vampire is-watch it already!What the hell are you doing wasting time??Still need convincing??Blood: The Last Vampire has been animated by the same group which created Ghost in the Shell,Kill Bill: Vol. 1,Jin-Roh and Innocence: Ghost in the Shell 2.Need i say more??

Cool....not Lame!

2005-09-20T13:27:00.000+05:30

2005-10-19 .That is the date i am eagerly waiting for.The countdown has begun.Only 29 days to go.Season 9 of South Park resumes on that day.Cartman is back with hatred in his heart and baby fat in his behind.Dont you just love him??Oh and Stan,Kyle ,Kenny and the rest of the gang are back too.I dont know about you,but I am THERE!

The winds are a-changing

2005-09-19T01:54:00.000+05:30

The roads were filled with people on their way to the office.Busy,busy,busy.No time to apologize to the guy whose feet you step on,no time to stop for anything.I was walking along with the the general direction of the crowd, being almost swept off my feet in the bustle.Suddenly one woman shouted "Look!Up there in the sky!Its Superman!".The crowd stopped,their heads turning in unison following the direction the woman was looking at.I followed suit.Before i can realize it,i see a big man swooping down in front of me.But for the life of me i cannot recognize this to be the Man of Steel.His S is smaller,and he isnt red and blue anymore.He is crimson and blue.I rub my eyes and look again.This is no illusion.He is actually wearing crimson.He walks up to me and says "Tamal dahling!Its been ages!We should get together sometime.Call my assistant,he will set us up.".I finally shed the last remnants of shock and ask him " Cla....Superman?Your suit....its.." he cuts in and says "Dont you know it??Red is soo yesterday!Crimson is in!"he leans over and with a sly wink says "And you must understand, crimson flatters my toned abs and triceps to a level which red could only aspire!"He continued while i stood there wide eyed and open mouthed "Have you seen the fall line the Armani Gucci joint venture is bringing out in my honour??From ties to socks,all in crimson."He looks with a certain amount of glee and says "Bruce has serious fashion competetion now!"he pauses and tells me that he must get going for work beckons and asks me to get in touch with his secretary-and anticipating my question he says "He is in the directory.Look him up."with these words he flies away.The people around me are all abuzz with excitement.But the churning in my stomach wont stop.i make my way through the crowd and head for open space."You need to calm down",says the voice in my head,"Splash some water in your face and sit down for a while".I see a starbucks outlet in front of me and head for it.The whole world seems to be lurching.Just when i am about to push the door and go in,a hand grabs my shoulder.I hear a deep voice behind me "Look who is back!Well!YOU are here and you dont try to get in touch with me?".I turn around to see a man with backbrushed hair,sharp blue eyes and a face that i swear i have never seen in my life.As if comprehending the source of my confusion he says-"Really now.I havn't changed that much also."But i was lost down memory lane trying desperately to match the face with some past aquaintance.Seeing my confusion he tries to push me inside starbucks and says "maybe a steaming hot mug of coffee will jog your memory bub."he pauses and says "damnit!", looking at me he says "My speech instructor has done a good job but i am having a lot of trouble not using bub and words like that in my sentences.Neutral accents are hard to get used to."I believe my face had taken the contours of a conch shell by then.My legs were shaking like they were experiencing massive tissue failure and my eyes looked like that of a dead fish.I didnt have time to say much,i toppled over,unconscious.In hindsight,the shock was just too much to handle.When i woke up someone was bending over me and flashing light into my eyes.I heard a soft feminine voice asking me "Are you ok??i sat up straight.I said "i am better now".Someone from behind asked me what happened to you??For a moment you got me worried there."i turned around to face the man and i slowly asked "Logan??What have you done to yourself?You have changed."Logan made a face and said i am still the same man."But..??"He said "But what?I dont like being mangy anymore!I am cleaner now.I admit shaving for me is a bigger problem and my body hair was a tad worrisome but thank God for laser hair removal!"I was going to ask him "But why?What was wrong with your previous look??"when he said "Why dont you say hi to an old friend??"Following his eyes i turned around to see that woman who was there in the room.I had no trouble recognizing her.I said "Diana!Wonder Woman!Thank God for small mercies!You havnt changed at all!You look just the same!"i was breathing easy and there was a smile on my face.The smile of having found something to relate to my past in a new world.She looked at Logan and said "See?I told you that was money well spent!".What a naive fool i was!I asked Diana what expenditures she was talking about.She said "I found this amazing doctor who can take years off with a few nips and tucks.He works miracles with his scalpel."Seeing my dazed and confused look she explained..."Breast enhancement,facial lift..you know collagen and stuff to make me look younger!And it worked,i am still the same!My next investment will be to get my teeth whitened.Even logan is coming with me to get his teeth reshaped to get rid of that feral look.Isnt it marvellous??"That horrible sinking feeling was back and it was back with a vengeance.I asked in a wheezing voice which might as well have sounded like that of a mouse-"But..you are Diana,princess of Themyscira -you are ageless..."Oh dont you believe things to be that simple"said wolverine "We have to look good..so its quite justifiable!Everyone looks upto us.We have to look our best.Metrosexual,you know??"By this time Diana had come in closer and was looking at me."Truth be told honey,you are not exactly looking your best.Whats with the unshaved look??And Hera only knows when you plucked your eyebrows last.Listen why dont you get a Gillette and logan can show you how to get a close shave"Logan was nodding "Yes,the secret is to never, never shave against the grain of your beard.."I had had enough.I just got up screaming and started running away as fast as my feet would carry me...then i think i stumbled and fell.
I was in my bed-drenched in cold sweat.i got up form my bed and emptied the water bottle near my bed.the dryness in the throat was still there.I thought-Bryan Singer..all because of Bryan Singer and some stupid producer.Reality seeped in slowly and steadily..last night i had seen the on site set photos of Bryan Singer's Superman Returns.Brandon Routh in a crimson-blue suit and some rich food combined had caused this lethal dream.But i wonder,how long before this nightmare comes true??Just another geekboy's trivial worry...till next time,take care.

Riddle me this......

2005-09-04T21:07:00.001+05:30

They say time heals everything.After watching Batman Begins i was so depressed that i could not believe that anything could lift me up from the slump that Christopher Nolan had managed to push me into.Enter Batman: Dead End.A short film by special effects specialist Sandy Collora.This very compact 6minute film managed to do what batman films have failed to do for a long time.One look and you realize that they have done their research,they have read the comics and the feel of the comic is there in the film.Special mention?The scene where the dark knight is standing up from the ground.simply put - awesome.
Every film has its weak points and although batman dead end has its own flaws ,it stands out for one major reason-it managed to keep it dark and serious.My friend was of the opinion that this short is only for bat-o-freaks.I on the other hand would not agree since this film is not even trying to refer to any comic book incident that you need to have a prior knowledge of.My friend also feels that he has some trouble buying into the capabilities of the batman.I believe his words were "a little white boy learns what 90 year old zen masters try to learn all their lives".Strangely he doesnt have trouble believing in superman who apparently with his x-ray vison can see far and wide yet whenever he uses his x ray powers it doesnt seem to have any radiological effect on the people around him.It is like saying that only the japanese can be the best samurai or the chinese alone can be best at wushu.Prime real life example - Steven Seagal-yes that burly action star-he is a 7th dan aikido master and other varying forms of martial arts.Moreover,he is the first non japanese man to own a dojo in japan itself.Meaning the japanese actually learn from him .He also holds an administrative post in the aikido ruling body.There are allways exceptions.Even bruce lee who was a student of a relatively lesser known fighting style later sparred with different martial arts masters to perfect his own fighting style-jeet kun do.Pity he did no live longer to have improved on his own methods.The creator of Krav Maga,Imi Lichtenfeld also sieved through different martial arts to make an extremely lethal fighting style.Before I deviate further let me retrace my path back to what i wanted to say.It made me very happy to see fans making great works like this and made me forget the mental anguish of having to watch Batman Begins.I have managed to stumble upon another Batman fan film called Batman : Madness and hopefully i will get to see it soon.If anyone reading this knows of any link to download Batman : Madness please let me know.Till then,down with Russel Crowe,Rosario Dawson ,Christopher Nolan and David Goyer(the rest of my dislike list will be updated later)!

Why??

2005-08-31T20:29:00.000+05:30

Since this morning i was under a lot of pressure....wondering why i had this very rare strain of foot-in-the-mouth disease which put me in unlikely situations where i would have to keep promises made in the heat of the moment (like creating a blog),then wondering if i would really have to go through with it.....You see i had dared my friend into creating his own blog and in order to encourage him i had to sound braver than he was..so off i went -rambling on about how much i had to say to the world about..well a lot of things...and i would only do so if he created a blog too...somewhere in the deep dark corner of my overfertile brain i assured myself-RELAX!(insert the famous 80s song here in the background.) He wont do it and therefore the deal would become null and void!You can go on expounding pseudointellectual crap with the same nonchalant attitude that you display with such finesse. And so i relaxed but only for a short while since my pep talk to my friend really worked!Halt!said my brain-Whats this?? A ranger caught of his guard?? Oops!sorry about that..wrong dialogue...lets start again...Halt!said my brain-Whats this?? Your words having effect??why??ERROR!doesnt compute!
Nevertheless i had to keep my end of the bargain...so here are my 2 cents about well....whatever fits my fancy for that day/hour/minute/second.Dont expect any pattern for there are none.
Only 1 thing you should expect??Lots of pseudo intellectual talk about lots of things.
Be afraid.Be vewwy vewwy afwaid!
Shhhhhhhhh!!I am hunting wabbits!

P.S- My epitaph should read- DAZED AND CONFUSED,no?