The thing about porn
Yes,yes..you read the heading right. We are talking about porn. Its is the p word. Before I get into telling you people,my readers (Why?? Why do you waste your time on drivel?? Its a complete mystery to me.) about the occasional wonderment of sorts I have had on this subject matter, I think it would be best for me to recount a funny anecdote. The joke , I assure you is on me in this misadventure of sorts.I was in college in Bangalore around 4 years ago ( it is quite hard to believe so much time has passed already) ,attending my second year in M S Ramaiah College. We used to have a cd parlour near our hostel from where we used to regularly rent out films. You see,studying is something that i did the least in college. Ah,those were the days. Anyway,one of those days,late at night me and 2 other friends of mine,namely Rohan and Aditya had gone to the cd parlour to return and take more films to watch.While we were going through the catlogues,a guy walked in and stealthily took out a couple of unmarked cds and quickly handed it over to the guy at the counter. Scientists have determined that was the exact moment my brain shut down entirely and I became el stupido. It was my moment to put my foot in my mouth-which if I may add I did so with a certain panache. I quickly asked the man at the counter in a high pitched excited voice-"Excuse me, are you renting out software cds too??" Silence, all i could hear was silence for what felt like eternity while the stupidity of the comment I had made sunk in. Of course it wasnt software,it was porn which if i may confess I had rented from there too. The rest is quite obvious from then on. Everyone inside that shop were laughing at me. And it burned,it burned like hell! And look! I am such a glutton for punishment that I am posting this humiliating incident on my blog!
Well,if you have quite finshed laughing at me then I shall talk about what I had actually had planned on talking about. Can it be so that pornography is a male phenomenon?? That can't be correct. I think I need to explain what I said. I was wondering that up until now I have not met any woman who actually admits to enjoying watching porn. While I may have encountered women who have watched porn films now and then ,but I am yet to encounter someone who actually keeps porn or collects them.Is it a prudishness on their part?This question popped into my head the other day when in my college a batchmate was very pissed cause she found that her friend had stored porn in her computer.Hearing her rant about how she feels very strongly against storing porn got me thinking.I realized that i had not heard any girl enthusiastically admit to enjoy watching porn(at least not first hand) leave alone collecting it. I know it is a moot point but I would like to hear your opinion about this. One other thing though, this observation of sorts is based on very limited interaction with women, since you know how popular I am, so I can't really take this as a well sampled observation.That is why I need your input in this matter. The typical Indian middle class psyche also could be one of the factors.Most girls in the middle class encounter porn through their boyfriends rather than friends and it becomes their only source. So the only time they get to see porn is when some guy is trying to get them into bed or something of that sort. Or could it be that most girls enjoy this freedom of deniability that they have in this matter wherein they can blame it on their boyfriends? "Its not my fault,its his! He is the one with the dirty mind and hands in his pants! Blame him!" Your thoughts??
P.S.- You may notice that the font from this post onwards is bigger,it is because of the fact that a friend of mine complained that it was too small to read comfortably. Well I am just too lazy to change the font sizes in all my posts.
posted by Tamal @ 11:51 PM
11 Comments:
Is pr0n a male phenomena, encoded into our Y chromosomes?
I think yes and no. Males of every persuation tend to be fairly visual, while females tend to be not so much. Perhaps that is why the female of the species isn't quite so into pr0n.
However, pop psychology apart, I don't think its so cut and dry. It never is. While the male interest in pr0n may be biologically coded, it certainly is not what's driving it. Pr0n functions as a meme in our macho society, and in young men, its a self fulfilling memetic engine. Early sexual interest is guided by and towards pr0n, and its a cyclic process after that.
Well, that's my take, anyway.
Just wanted to add something here...
While talking about pr0n may be ok, be aware that a lot of firewalls block access to pages with offensive words such as pr0n. Hence, when you absolutely must use words likely to be censored, please use comprehensible substitutions, such as leet speak.
well,although your input is quite interesting to say the least but you seemt o have overlooked the main aspect of the topic.While i do understand the take on male psychology towards pr0n,my question was towards women's reaction to pr0n.the question also was how many women we know individually who are into pr0n.The other major aspect was to analyze the psychology of the typical women we have met up until now.Your thoughts?
Well, since I'm a bloke, I can only offer conjecture here.
Personally, I know of no woman who is as dependent on pr0n as the average adolescent male is. As you rightly said, some women may experiment with it, but it doesn't seem to form their bread n butter, like it does for men.
If I take the "Aha!" approach of pop pyschobabble again, females are sexualised in a fantasy environment where people fall in love at first sight and end up together; boys don't really care about sex; and prince charming rides up on his noble steed and rips off his shirt to reveal a rippling chest, and a six pack you could grate cheese on.
Pretty much every girl's stash of pr0n consists of issues of Mills N Boons. Complex plotlines, melodrama, and utterly unrealistic lovemaking. Come to think of it, sounds like your taste in pr0n!
Can you think of any guy reading literature to get off? Letters to Penthouse (1 thru 9) not withstanding.
I have not read the letters to the penthouse,but i am quite fond of anais nin's work.But if i may stretch this further,do you think this condition is less severe in a westernised environment?This level of distaste in pr0n could be stronger here.Not that i am saying that western women are necessarily better but i am rather talking about an open minded environment,less religious babble and other relics of the last century.
Perhaps we should instead be discussing your distaste for the indian mindset.
All said and done, pretty much all forms of pr0n and erotica currently in India are eventually western in origin. No, let's not drag the Kamasutra or Khajuraho into this.
My take is, women in a more westernized setting are less disdainful towards men's pr0n centric interests, but I don't think any woman is eventually happy about it. She may tolerate it, but she won't like it. As for women employing pr0n for their own purposes, its a tiny tiny fairly negligible proportion. Pr0n targeted towards woman has never caught on, even with lesbians.
Tolerance is not acceptance.
"Perhaps we should instead be discussing your distaste for the indian mindset."
Wow!You certainly know how to twist words.What am i saying ?I have known that for a long time.I believe i even mentioned that i was not asserting that the western mindset or women are necessarily better.I was talking about a more open minded environment.My distaste you say??You seem to have quite a cemented notion about me.As for all pr0n being western in origin i would definitely beg to differ.The influx of private made videos are proof to that.And if i might add,it took 2 people to agree to being videotaped.
Why are you being so defensive? Learn to read the content, not just the words.
Home made videos, even by their concept, are very western in their origin. All people featured in home made videos, where both parties are aware of the filming, are all from big cities, and very westernized. This could simply be the relative availability of hardware, though it's probably not just that.
And cool it with the accusations. Cemented notion, indeed. An open minded environment doesn't necessarily mean women are interested in pr0n. Even when you consider western countries without America's right wing fixation, women and pr0n doesn't seem like a big thing. Of course, everybody's tastes differ, and some women are more into it, but they are quite rare.
And finally, cool it with the harsh words.
The words formed are more full of intent than they seem to be.This is not my attempt to have the last word in a disagreement.But it is one whole other thing when you are being accused of being a prude in a discussion when you have already talked about the fact that you dont believe in the notion of western means better.If this comment was from an outsider, it wouldnt have mattered at all.But to see this accusation being made from one such as you is what makes it so bad.A person with your command over a language and your familiarity with me cannot be assumed to be saying things without knowing what it construes.I have merely assumed you made that insinuation with full control of your abilities.
Why are we debating pr0n?
My intent was not to imply anything about your opinion of Indian mindsets. I ain't insinuating nothin'. If it seemed like that, I am sorry.
Personally, I do believe Indians as a group are more accepting. Indian women as a whole may sneer at pr0n, but for them to tolerate their partners indulging in something they consider so immoral, is a bigger leap than for a western woman to accept pr0n.
I know your musings were about woman and their own take on pr0n. Therefore, I can only guess.
That said, I do think a western upbringing is not necessarily an open one. Mostly yes, but not always. I know several (as do you) people who have had a fairly western upbringing, and it seems to have only turned their minds against what they see as ‘western corruption’. Or, they’ve discovered Jesus.
In many ways, western countries are still more conservative than India. Indians are less afraid to throw caution to the wind and abandon everything, including their traditional mindsets, and religious taboos. However, when it comes to pr0n and women, I still fail to see the connection, western or Indian mindset. The few western female friends I have tell me they’re not into pr0n. I base my comments on that. Agreed, hardly a comprehensive survey of the western world.
I'm older than you all and I have more milage than you all , so please , consider my answer: As a WOMAN Its all about the man having
testesterone and women do NOT. Women are not dead and can easily get arroused with a "good " porn movie. In fact , there is one italian porn flick that even just the thought of it gets me HOT! It was the best one i've ever seen! But everyone has that side , and testerone thrives and lives off those images and that's why men think of sex every two min. And women are flat lined in comparison, that's why we need more foreplay to warm up...but when a women is in her sexual prime.. IT'S ALL GOOD BABE!
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