Variety...

My long post about my trip to Bangalore will be delayed further due to inevitable circumstances(namely two-my laziness,and still some photos to recieve). To fill the time, here are a few things two entertain you...the song and the story are not my creation...they are forwards...so whoever created it, credit goes to them.....thanks to Rohan for sending it to me...
Before we start on the songs and the story....a few examples as to how original Bollywood is... scroll down...
This poster is of the Shah Rukh Khan starrer Don...yes...the remake of the Don...

Matrix Reloaded anyone?

As for the next,nothing much to say about it...






and now for the original...





Now for the song...
Sambhar of 69 (lyrics) tuned to Summer of 69

I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic,
but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah

standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

Back to the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting killed,
I was full and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever - FOREVER... NO!!!!

And now the dhabas are changing,
new dishes have come and gone,
sometimes when I pass that old madrasi lane,
I still smell it, I can't be wrong.

Standing in those unwashed clothes,
the waiters still call me in there,
oh the way my nostrils burn,
I know that it will be served forever,
what was the worst food of my life.

yeah it was the sambhar of 69,

the sambhar, the sambhar, the sambhar of 69 ……………


and the story....


THE MACHHI CODE!
Robert Lingam I.P.S (Vijayakanth aka CAPTAIN) visits
Madurai to deliver a
lecture
in college about public safety. The head pujari of
Meenakshi temple is
murdered. He was stabbed to death, but before dying
he lies down in the
robotic break dance position next to a shiva lingam,
the message clearly
being "call robert lingam". He had also smashed the
breasts of a goddess
statue and hung a bell with a chain from her hip.
Also clutched in his hand
is the Congress party manifesto with the 49%
reservation for OBCs underlined
with his blood.

Pujari's grand daughter Mahalakshmi (Sneha) had
just returned from USA with
a degree in cryptology, symbology, singing and
group-dance. She cuts short
her weekend trip to Chennai and returns to Madurai
upon the murder.

She meets Commissioner Lingam at the murder site and
together embarkto solve
the murder and in the process "witness the biggest
cover up in Hindu
history". "My 'Thaatha' used to insist that me and
my brother play hide and
seek inside the temple", said Mahalakshmi.

"Why the congress manifesto? Why the underlining on
the reservation part?
Was your thaatha going to lose his job as
head-priest to an OBC
candidate?",puzzled look on Lingam's face with knit
eyebrows."Thaatha always
said reservation was plain bull shit"

"What?"

"Bull shit - very rarely he used english but
whenever this topic used tocome
up, he wud use that term"Lingam's eyes lit up.
"That's the clue...yes, bull
shit, oh Rama how did i miss that", excited he
clutches Mahalakshmi's wrist
as they bolt out of the murder scene.
"Where is the biggest Nandi bull statue in this
temple complex?"

"by the east gate"

"Let's go".................

Lingam put his hand into the orifice which was the
asshole of the
Nandi bull statue. His fingers felt the cold touch
of an ancient palm leaf.
Pulling it out Lingam attempted to read under the
flickering light of the
solitary lamp post nearby.neatly written in outdated
tamil script were the
lines,

"Kai Anchu, Vaai Nooru Periya bookukule oru chinna
book"
(5 hands, 100 mouths, a small book inside a big book)
"Ah", Lingam sighed.
"What does it mean?"
"I have heard both these lines before...but in a
very different context"
Lingam looked skywards for some divine intervention
to help him solve this
new clue. Towering into the skyline in front of him
as dawn was breaking,was
the tall gopuram of the temple. Quickly turning
around, a smile danced on
Lingam's lips as his sight fell on all the five
towers. "The five towers,
phallic symbols...the five Pandava brothers, We need
to get to a library,I
need to see the original copy of the Kama sutra",
"this early in the
morning?" asked Mahalakshmi as they hurried towards
Lingam's jeep.

As they jeep hurtled towards the town library,
Lingam explained, "
Few temples in India are famous for their erotic art
and architecture.
The kings built those to encourage population
growth. For centuries, there
has been rumours of a secret society that guarded a
secret behind such art
and symbols, a secret so powerful that if revealed
would shake the very
foundations of conservative culture."

COMING SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU....
WITNESS THE GREATEST COVER UP IN HINDU HISTORY
A SECRET SO DEVASTATING THAT IF REVEALED COULD LEAD
TO EVEN MORE
CATACLISMIC POPULATION EXPLOSION.....
WAS THE MOST NOTORIOUS PIECE OF INDIAN LITERATURE
ORIGINALLY PART OF
THE GREATEST EPIC POEM EVER WRITTEN?
WERE THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE KAMASUTRA THE SAME
GODS AND GODDESSES
GLORIFIED IN ANCIENT TEXTS?
CONTINUING WITH THE MODERN INDIAN TRADITION OF
BLATANTLY APING THE
WEST....
A.M.RATNAM PRESENTS
CAPTAIN in
THE DA MACHI CODE
'SO CORNY A DARK MAN'
PONGAL 2007