The movies that could have been

It has been more than two months since I had written anything in my blog. To be honest, with my film shoot and other stuff coming up, it had become nearly impossible. But inspite of my erratic writing habits, my friends apparently havn't given up on me. For the last week or so I have been asked why am I taking such a long break from blogging. Well, I am back, and this sounded like a great oppurtunity to write on this article I had in my mind. I will tell you about some big projects which at one time were the biggest things supposed to be coming out of Hollywood , but got stuck in production hell and never materialized.Here we go.

Spiderman- I know, there has been 3 spiderman films (incidentally I saw the third part today, and it sucked.) - so why is it listed among the films that never materialised? You see, originally the person who was writing the script for Spiderman and was planning to make it , way back in 1993 was who? None other than James 'Terminator 2' Cameron. Yes, the man behind what is arguably the best sci fi action film of all time had big plans for spidey. Originally Michael J fox of the Back to the Future fame was the favourite to star as Peter parker/spidey or a complete unknown, but when the studios read Cameron's script, they backtracked because they thought it was too grim. Oh well, in the end Camron's script was stripped and morphed into more PG friendly action, he didnt get credit even though he filed suit against it and we ended up missing out on what I personally feel would have been one hell of a ride.

Star Wars the sequels- Lucas, after driving fans crazy with the original Star Wars Trilogy, wanted to make three sequels charting the fight against the clone emperor, the Yuuzhan Vong and the rebuilding of the jedi order but unfortunately for us fanboys he became old, and a trillion times more greedy and ended up making pointless prequels.(Which reminds me, apparently Mr Lucas came out criticizing Spiderman 3 for being silly. Yes coming from him, such a focused and serious visionary of a filmmaker, who made cuddly bears into serious armies fighting against laser weapons, I am sure that doesn't sound like sour grapes.) Anyway, the fanboys waited and waited, and what they got instead was 3 prequels. Oh well, again our loss.

Kaleidoscope- When the lord and master of horror, Alfred Hitchcock's career was running to the ground, he envisioned this film. It was supposed to be narrated entirely by the serial killer himself alternating between his vulnerable and his homicidal side. The studios rejected this film, as they found it too dark and gruesome to be made during the 60s. If this had been made, it would have a been a milestone for american cinema. Or else if nothing, a unique treat to watch.

Napoleon- Stanley Kubrick at one point of time took on his most prized project, a biographical film on the little emperor. Poised to star in it as Napoleon was none other than Jack Nicholson himself. He worked for more than 2 years on this film, but inspite of his huge success with 2001 A Space Oddyssey, the studios could not imagine risking so much money on one film. But to tell you honestly, this doesnt feel like that big a loss. Why? Because of being refused by the studios to make Napoleon, he turned his eyes on other projects. He instead made A Clockwork Orange, then went on to make Barry Lyndon and the Shining. Also, Kubrick had a ready script to shoot A.I. but sadly, he passed away, and Spielberg made it instead.

Batman- orson Welles, yes the man himself behind what is voted to be the greatest film ever made, had ready plans for his batman film. It was supposed to be dark and very very broody. At one point of time, Humphrey Bogart was offered the role of two face. James Cagney was also supposed to star in it. Again budget and actor problems stalled the film, and we lost out on what could possibly have been one hell of a film. Low on effects but oh god, with Orson Welles at the director's chair, man that was something we all needed to watch.

Dune- It pains me to list this, as personally this is one book I NEVER want to see being adapted to the big screen. Simply because it is too big for any filmmaker, and I do mean any. But it will be unfair if I dont report this so here goes. At one point of time, Alejandro Jodorowsky was gearing up to make Dune, long before David Lynch got his grubby hands on it. H R Giger, the surreal artist who dreamt up the alien Xenomorph was hired to do the artwork, and get this, Salvador Dali had agreed to play the role of the emperor! That's not all, the director was in talks with none other than Pink Floyd for his music directors. Sure, it would have been one crappy film, but man, thats one crappy film we should have seen.

Exorcist prequel- As you may or may not know, the prequel for exorcist was called Dominion, and when it was all but finished, the brilliant studio execs looked at it and felt it was too damn dark for their intended lobotomized audience. So they fired the director, none other than Paul Schrader , the man who wrote Taxi Driver & Raging Bull for crying out loud and reshot the entire film and lo, you got the crapfest that was Exorcist: The beginning. When that tanked, they gave Dominion a limited release in a few film festivals where it was praised a lot. Lucky for you, its out on dvd, and if you are resourceful, you can see it.

Grand Mill's Hotel- Buster Keaton's dream project that never got made. The producers were out to teach who they thought to be an alcoholic overpaid star a lesson, and they were willing to even lose money to achieve that. It worked. Keaton never got the film started, which had Laurel and Hardy, Marie Dressler, and Jimmy Durante all set to star alongside him. I hate the bastards who did not let this film be made.

The Alien- No, this is not the alien that you saw made in the 70s. This my dear readers, is one black chapter in the history of hollywood. This was Satyajit Ray's english hollywood breakthrough project. The story? About an alien getting stuck on earth and befriending a man and finding his way back home, while avoiding the authorities. Sounds familiar doesnt it? Of course it does, cause Mr Spielberg owns a copy of the original script. He denies copying from it though. Oh well, but get this, Peter Sellers and Marlon Brando had signed on to star in Ray's film and waited for nearly a year and a half. At one point when Brando left, even James Coburn signed on. But it never happened. One day Ray found out that his script, word for word had been copyrighted overnight, leaving him uncredited.

King conan : crown of Iron- The Wachowsky brothers fresh from the success of the Matrix plotholes quickly fast forwarded to the shooting of King Conan. Starring Sean Connery as the King who Conan pays tribute to by giving his only son. Conan of course would be played by Arnold and his grown up son by the Rock(blech!). But the script was kickass and it held promise. If you look around online, you can even find the concept art to the poster of this film. A lot of fans were dying to see what would have been Arnold's goodbye to cinema role. But it never materialized. Arnold became a fag hating death sentence vetoing politician and others lost interest. Rumours are rife that it will be taken up soon, and we might just get to see this on the big screen , but the chances are pretty slim.

Well that about wraps it up I guess. There are many more projects which never took off, but these are the ones which comes to mind most strongly. Like recently, Lucas threw away the script written by Frank Darabont (of Shawshank redemption and Green mile fame) wrote for Indiana Jones 4 and opted for puppet writers instead. Darabont had put in a lot of time on the script and has been cheated out of any credits. Oh well, we stand to lose. Not that I ever cared much for Indiana Jones.
That about wraps it up folks,see you again -hopefully sometime soon.